Day 151: Kalas

Naalala ko noong unang kita nakita
sadyang nabighani ako sayong ganda
kinilala pa kita at kinaibigan
hanggang ikaw na ang aking kinahumalingan

mailap ka pa nga sa simula
ngunit sinikap kong suyuin kita
palihim na nagabot ng bulaklak at tsokolate
mga baduy na tula para sa espesyal na babae

kahit sa text at mailap kang sumagot
pag ako'y nakikita mukha mo'y nalulukot
kita na hindi mo talaga ko gusto
at hindi ko makukuha ang matamis mong "oo"

ngunit sa kabila ng mabigat na kalbaryo
wala ang salitang suko sa aking bokabularyo
inabot ng buwan at ng taon
hinihintay ang inaasam na pagkakataon

biglang tamis ng ihip ng hangin
nakita kitang ngumiti pabalik sakin
sabay nagtagpo ang mga mata natin
sabay siklab ng aking damdamin

sa bawat ngiti at tingin mo sakin
ay nabibigyan ko ng kahulugan
dahil ikaw na minsang ayaw ako pansinin
ay madalas ko ng nasasamahan

at dumating na ang araw na pinakaiintay ko
aking natanggap ang matamis mong oo
sabay hawak sa aking mga kamay
at ang mundong paparating ay nilakbay

parang paraiso sa bawat oras na ika'y katabi
at ang ibang bagay ang di ko inintindi
ang saya ko pa ng iyong sinabi
na ako ang dahilan ng iyong mga ngiti

binigyan mo ng kahulugan ang buhay ko
at binigyang buhay ang aking mundo
ikaw na inintay at pinaghirapan ko
ay sa wakas nasa tabi ko

dumating din ang ihip ng hangin
kung saan nag iba ang layunin natin
wala naman umaayaw
pero parang ako pa ang bibitaw

nawawalan na tayo ng oras sa isa't isa
mga oras natin ay kahati pa ang iba
sinikap mo na ito ay masagip
ngunit ako na rin ang nanlamig

sa ilalim ng puno ng makopa
ay binitawan na kita
sa lugar san kita una nakita
ay iiwan na kita

masakit sa akin na ikaw ay iwanan
ngunit ayoko naman ng relasyon na dayaan
alam ko ang sakit nito sa pangmatagalan
ngunit ayoko na sa tao na wala akong nararamdaman

totoo pala na,
isang araw gigising ka at ayaw mo na
na ang taong pinangarap mo sa altar ng simbahan
ay ikaw mismo ang nagiwan na luhaan

marahil makapal ang tingin ninyo sakin
at walang karapatan na ang sakit ay indahin
ngunit kailangan tanggapin
na lumilipas din ang damdamin

unti unti kitang minahal
at unti unti akong nasakal
sa relasyon na tanging nagpapagana ay ikaw
kahit ako pa ang nanligaw

sa pagiwan ko sayo
ay nagiwan din ng lamat sa aking puso
may magmamahal din sayo ng buo
sadyang hindi na yung ako

salamat dahil hinayaan mong mahalin kita
at hinayaan mong palayain ako
hinayaan mong akong Malaya
at salamat na minahal mo ako

ilang taon ang lumipas
sa may puno sa parke
ang ganda mo ay hindi pa kumukupas
sa tabi ng isang lalaki

napangiti ako nang Makita kang masaya
pagkatapos ng lahat ng aking ginawa
alam kong iniwan nga kita
ngunit may bumulong na "mahal pa rin kita"

ngunit ako nga ang umatras
sa relasyon na ako mismo ang kumalas
kita kong masaya ka na sa ibang tao
sabay tusok ng malalim saking puso

Day 150: Lion

A proud mountain lion

once led, served and protect

every animal lingering in the forest

sacrificing his food and never once a defiant

the lion did his best

to serve the rest

but when the lion got hungry

things got chippy

he sought to serve himself

disregarding the pack 

for he sought the track

to serve his own happiness

the rest of the animals are not used to it

as they saw at as a selfish move

by the time the lion has returned

he was welcomed with condemn

he apologized and did his best

to make up for his selfish quest

he lived his life for them to impress

poor lion, lived for the applause

when he thought it was all fine

and he had caught up with the time

one mistake decision

puts the lion in another position

he made a mistake to piss of the gorilla

and accidentally stepped on his cornilla

then the animals turned their back

and the lion was once more attacked

the lion was once more alone

as his hatred for animals has grown

the lion grew resentment

realizing solitude is better than judgement

Day 149: Tulang di ko ibibigay

Naalala ko noong una kita Makita
agaw pansin sa akin ang suot mong pula
mat temang pagka tsino pa
kahit pansin kong may kalakihan ang yong mata

unti unti nang natatapos ang patimpalak
at unti unti na rin ako nagagalak
syo'y unti unti na kong lumalapat
habang humahaba na ang ating pag uusap

napapansin ko nang unti unti
paano sumabay ang iyong mata sa iyong labi
sa tuwing kukurba ka ng ngiti
at aking napansin kahit ang maliliit na detalye

kung paano mo hawiin ang iyong buhok
at paano ka nanahimik sa isang sulok
kung paano mo ipirmi ang mga kamay mo
at kung paano mo napatigil ang mundo

sa minsan nating paguusap
andami  kong napansin at naiulat
naging laman ka ng bawat kong sinusulat
mga damdaming sa papel inilapat

mula noon nakikita na lang kita
na nangingilid sa aking mga mata
tsina tiyaga ang tingin sa malayong distansya
mapag masdan lang kita

sa mga nakaw na tingin
ko lamang nairaos ang aking damdamin
hanggang nagyon at noong simula
lahat ng nais kong sabihin ay nasa tula

natapos ang taon wala kong nagawa
kung hindi ialay ang mga hindi mo nabasang tula
sa papel na blangko na lang nailapat
ang mga damdaming hindi naipagtapat

Day 148: Minsang mapakinabangan....

Bakit ang tao ay tumatapang

kapag may nakakabit na maskara

ikukubli ang sarili sa salita ng iba

sabay salita ng maanghang na salita

humihiram ng tapang sa social media

pero pag harap harapan tahimik na lang

wag talagang bibigyan ng kapangyarihan

ang mga tao na nagiging gahaman

minsang mapakinabangan,

akala mo kung sino na

sobrang talas ng mga salita

lahat naman huli na nang nagsidatingan

siguro nga ang taong minsang naapakan

at magnanais ng pahihigantihan

hindi ko maunawaan kung bakit

nais pa nilang ipamahagi ang naranasang sakit

sana lang kung mang aagrabyado ka ng kapwa

wag ka nang gumamit ng pangalan ng iba

hirap ng minsang napakinabangan

kala mo sino ka na

Day 147: Hanap hanap

Sa bawat marka sa dingding
o sa bawat imahe sa buhangin
sa bawat ulap sa kalangitan
kahit sa simpleng hapag kainan
hinahanap pa rin kita

Kahit ang mga panaginip ko
ikaw pa rin ang nilalaman
kahit sa pagtunong ng telepono
ikaw at ikaw pa rin ang inaasahan ko
mukhang nabaliw na ko sayo ng tuluyan

sa bawat tutunog ang messenger ko
inaasahan ko pa rin ang mukha at pangalan mo
nasa taas kapa rin ng mga paborito kong kontak
kahit mahigit isang taon na tayong di naguusap

minsan kapag may kumakatok sa bahay
pinapanalangin kong ikaw yun
kahit kapag may naghahanap
mabilis kong iniisip na sana ikaw yun

sa bawat pagkakataon
kahit sa mga bagay na mistulang nagkataon
ikaw ang inaasahan ko
ikaw pa rin ang hinahanap ko

maaaring hanggang dito na nga lang tayo
at wala nang iuusad pa
dahil patuloy mong ginugulo ang aking isip tsaka
nilalason ang aking puso

Day 146: Sayang.

Marami akong pagkakataong sinayang
dahil takot sakin ang nangibabaw
ngayon sa harap ng computer nanghihinayang
kung san napunta ang mga sinayang na araw

Ilang beses na sumubok na ika'y lapitan
ngunit sadyang sa takot napangungunahan
kaya bawat araw na ako'y umaatras
sa blangkong papel at may obrang lumalabas

septyembre noong una kitang nakita
grabe di ko alam na schoolmate pala kita
noong nagsalita ka bigla akong natulala
habang nawala ako sa kinang ng iyong mga mata

sa mga sumunod na buwan ako'y hanggang tingin
naghihintay sa sulyap kahit mailap ng ngiti
dalawang buwan ito ang aking nagging kaligayahan
hanggang sa hindi na na nagkakakitaan

ilang beses sumubok na ika'y kausapin
kahit sa harap ng telepono lamang
ngunit hanggang hui, titig lang ang kayang gawin
sapagkat sa huli, kahit kamusta at hindi ko kayang gawin

lumipas ang bawat okasyon
kasabay ng mga sinayang na pagkakataon
lumipas ang mahabang panahon
at andito pa rin sa simula hanggang ngayon

Habang buhay kong pagsisisi
na hindi kita sinubukan suyuin
kailangan ko nang tanggapin
na pangarap ka na lang para sakin

Day 145: Paalam HUMSS 1 Athena

                      Mabilis lumipas ang sampung buwang tawanan at iyakan. Mga araw na akala natin wala ng katapusan na ito na nga tayo, nasa dulo ng kinahantungan. Aaminin ko na sa iba sa inyo ay may sama ako ng loob o hindi pumasok sa panlasa ko. Mga lamat na sadyang hindi na maghihilom. Pero salamat na rin dahil ipinakita niyo sa akin ang reyalidad na hindi lahat at makakasundo ko, ngunit wag ninyong isipin na masama o hindi kayo mabuting tao sapagkat kung hindi ko man kayo nakasundo ay dahil salungat lamang ang ating mga pananaw kaya nagkaganito. Sa huli, naniniwala pa rin ako sa kabutihan ninyo.
                      Sa mga mabubuti naman at salamat. Dahil ibinigay niyo sa akin ang dahilan upang maniwala pa sa kabutihan ng mundo. Mayroon pa nga sa inyo na nais kong pasalamatan sa simpleng dahilan na kayo at kayo. Hindi ko masisigurado na hindi kayo magbabagpo, ngunit kung sinoman ang naging kayo noon  ay gusto ko bilang tao. Nais ko na rin humingi ng paumanhin dahil mas napansin ko ang mga kasamaan sa mundo kaysa pansinin ang natitirang kabutihan na nanalaytay sa inyo.
                    Sa simula ng taon ay aaminin ko na sadya akong nahumaling sa presensya ninyo ngunit habang tumatagal nagkakaroon ng lamat at medyo napapaiwas na rin ako sa inyo. sunod sunod ba kasi ang gulo at away na hindi ko nais makisangkot. Marami sila oo, may punto pang umabot sa personalan ang iba ngunit sadyang umaangat ang mga panahon ng nakitawa ako sa inyo kaysa nainis sadyang sariwa pa yung mga panahon na magulo tayo.
                   Sa ating gurong tagapayo naman. Madalas na sumpungin siya ng kung ano at biglang tinotoyo. Masarap siyang asarin at kung ano pa, Ngunit hindi maitatanggi na Malaki ang paghanga at respeto ko sa kaniya. siya ang perpektong balanse ng malakas at mabuting tao. Mahirap siyang unawain at malihim ngunit sa oras na makilala mo siya ng lubos at makikita mong isa siyang pambihirang nilalang. Matalino, Masipag, dedikado, maganda, at (mabait?) May mga guro na kong nakasalamuha na dedikado at sadyang mahusay sa larangan na ito at isa siya dun. kahit madalas siyang toyoin.
                  Sa huli, salamat sa lahat ng ala ala dahil hinubog niyo ako kung sino ako ngayom. Mabuti man o masama, may naging parte kayo sa buhay ko ata habang buhay niyong makukuha ang pasaslamat ko. Masarap lang sabihin na minsan sa buhay ko sa second floor ng new building sa CDC natagpuan ko ang isang pamilya.
                  Hindi ako umattend ng farewell party dahil galit ako sa inyo o may pait pa sa puso ko. Hindi ako dumalo sapagkat hindi ko kayang lunukin ang katotohanan na pagkatapos ng mga kasiyahan. Sa paglubog ng araw at maghihiwa hiwalay din tayo.
                  Masakit na mawawala kayo sa buhay ko ngayon nagiwan na kayo ng marka sa puso ko. Masakit sa punto na sana di ko na kayo nakilala para di ko nararamdaman ang mga sakit na ito. Pero mas Malaki pa rin ang porsyento na nagpapasalamat ako na nakilala ko kayo.
                 Salamat sa ala ala, Paalam Athena

Day 144: Pag iwan

Pakiyakap ako pakiusap,
pakihigpitan pa tipong di na ko makahinga
na sa sobrang higpit ang mga piraso kong durog na
ay muling magsama sama

pakiyakap ako, sa gabing malamig
habang nakikisabay ng hunni ang mga kuliglig
magdamag tayong magkayakap
habang iginuguhit ang pangarap

pakiyakap ako at wag kang bibitaw
sumilip man ang buwan, magalit man ang araw
di alinatana ang init ng katawan
basta ikaw ang kayakapan

kung pwede lang sana habang buhay tayo
magkayakap at walang pakialam sa mundo
ngunit sa tadhana nga'y minalas
ay biglaan kang kumalas

una kang umalis sa bigkis
na ikaw mismo ang nagsimula
dahil tanga at di kita matiis
hinabol pa kita

niyakap kitang muli habang lumuluha
ngunit sadyang bumitiw ka na
naupo ako sa sulok ng kwarto
hawak ang magkabilang braso ko

matagal na panahon bago ako bumangon muli
pinagaralan kong mahalin ang sarili
nabuhay ng wala yakap ng iba
hanggang sa dinurog muli ng sunod na kabanata

umalis sa aking mga bisig
ng walang paliwanag akong narinig
kaya bigla akong nagulat
ng isang araw, iba na ang iyong kayakap

akala ko noon ay kaya ko na
hanggang sa muli ngang nakita kita
sa bisig ng iba ka na nakakapit
sa unang sulyap, bumalik lahat ng sakit

bumalik ako at sa simula nahulog
sa kung saan ang mga inayos mong piraso ko
ay ikaw din mismo ang dumurog
at muli mong kinitil ang hininga ko

habang buhay kong iisipin kung bakit
mo ako iniwanan lamang ng sakit
habangbuhay kong iisipin san ako nagkamali
at sisihin nag sarili

iispin ko palagi san ako nagkulang
sa dahilan bakit mo ako iniwanan
mahal kita kaya di kita masisi
at hihintayin pa rin kitang muli

balang araw magiging ayos din ako
ang maghihilom ang mga sugat na iniwanan mo
malamang dumating ang panahon na iyon
ngunit hindi pa sa ngayon

Day 143: "I love you"

How casual can you throw the word "I love you"
once? twice? or to every person you meet?
maybe in a lifetime you'll say it to a few
but some people will take it as a greet

Three words that are precious to some
that they will save it for someone
some will throw it like a box of candies
some will cherish it for even centuries

three words that made a meaning
when uttered, there will be pain in leaving
three random words that merged together
fooled people around us of the concept of forever

I guess saying you love someone comes in many ways
but these three words will still amaze
people around if told with pride
I just hope it's the meaning of it we would keep in mind

Day 143: Iba na.

Balang araw may magmamahal sayo
higit pa sa kaya kong ibigay
kaya niyang ukitin ang ngiti sa mga labi mo
at pakiramdam mong ligtas ka pag hawak niya iyong kamay

ibabalik niya ang kinang sayong mga mata
at papawiin ang lungkot ng pag iisa
hahaplusin niya ang yong mga sugat na nagmarka
at sasabihing " ang ganda mo talaga"

sisikapin niyang mapanatili ang ngiti sayong labi
at habang buhay siyang mamangha kahit wala kang kolorete
ang apoy ng kaniyang pagmamahal at lagging nakasindi
at aakuin niya lahat ng iyong sakit at hapdi

mamahalin ka niya ng higit kaninoman
sa pagitan ng desisyon, ang pipiliin at ikaw lamang
hihilumin niya ang sugat ng kahapon
at kasama mo na siyang babangon

lahat ng pangarap mo ay magkakaron ng katuparan
biglang magkakaron kanng pag asa sa kinabukasan
mamahalin ka niya ng higit sa kaniyang nalalaman
mamahalin ka niya ng higit sa iyong nauunawaan

pangako, darating ang tao na iyon
nasa sa iyong mga dasal, mayroon ng tutugon
sana lang pagdating niya, ay mahalin mo
dahil ang tao na yun ay hindi na ako

hindi na ako ang magpapangiti sa iyo
hindi na ako ang bubuo ng araw mo
hindi na ako ang ang magdamag mong katawagan
hindi na ako ang kasama mo sa kinabukasan

kaya kung sino man ang magmamahal sayo
sana ay mahalin ka niya na ng totoo
sana wag niyang sayangin ang pagkakataon
dahil hindi na ako ang tao na iyon

Day 142: Paasa

Nanahimik ako
Nakakulong sa sarili Kong Munro
Dinarama ang aking kapayapaan
Nang dumating ka ng biglaan

Dumating ka ng may ngiti, abot ang yong kamay
Sabay nagpakilala at inilahad ang pagkakaibigan mong alay
Alinlangan pa ang binigay kong ngiti
Pero di ka na umalis sa aking tabi

Ginawa mong gabi ang mga araw
At araw ang mga gabi
Kaligayahan ko'y umaapaw
Sa bawat oras na ika'y katabi

Binigyan mo ng kahulugan
ang buhay Kong matamlay
Ikaw na d ko noon kinailangan
Ay ayaw ko nang mawalay

Biglang nagiba ang kilos mo sa karaniwan
Mga aksyon na higit pa sa kaibigan
Binuo mo ang mundo ko
Ngunit ginulo mo naman ang isip ko

Dumating sa punto na may iniaabot ng regalo
Kahit wala namang okasyon patuloy ito
Pag tinanong kita "bakit? Anong meron?"
"Wala lang" ang iyong tugon

Minsan pa tinatawag mo pa ko
Ng "be" "baby" at kung ano pa
Sabi mo nadudulas ka lang
Ako naman kinikilig na 

Nahulog ang damdamin ko sa iyo
Hindi ko to ginusto, pero ginusto kita
Nahulog ang damdamin sa taong dumating
Ngunit Hindi handa sa paparating

Umamin ako sayo sa pag asang
Parehas tayo ng nararamdaman
Sa mga kilos mo na may batid
Hindi ako naging manhid 

Nagtapat na ako sayo ng nararamdaman
Hindi na ako nag alinlangan
Ako at biglang natigilan
Nang sinabi mo na sakin, na ako'y kaibigan lamang

Sinabi mo pa na umasa ako
Eh normal lang iyon sa iyo
"Hindi kita pinaasa, sadyang umasa ka lang"
Sabay iwan mo sa akin habang luhaan

Nadurog ang puso ko sa mga salita mo
Kasabay ng pagpatak ng mga luha ko
Binuo mo nga ang aking mundo
Ngunit ikaw din ang dumurog nito

Day 141: Malabong Ugnayan

Ano ba talaga tayo?
may tawagan pero walang "tayo"
pwede magselos pero bawal magreklamo
kailangan sa isa't isa at tapat
pero pag may nagkulang, bawal manumbat
gusto mo tayo lang, pero natingin ka sa iba
ayaw mo ng tayo, kasi natatakot ka pa

kaso hindi ba mas nakakatakot ito?
alam kong akin ka pero sa isang Segundo
posibleng mawala ka s mga bisig ko
dahil wala namang "tayo"

ang hirap na "parang" hawak kita
na "parang" di naman talaga
mismong di na sigurado ang nararamdaman
dahil hindi naman sigurado sa ating kalagayan

sinubok kong ihigit ang relasyon
ngunit laging isang ngiti ang iyong tugon
"mas ligtas at sigurado tayo dito" sabi mo
kahit kita kong hindi lang ako

"MU" yan ang sabi mo kung ano tayo
"mutual  understanding" yan ang ipinipilit mo
parang pangarap sa panaginip isinulat sa buhangin
sa relasyon na kinulayan, kinulayan lang ang hangin

Malabong Ugnayan ang meron tayo
Malayong Umayos kung hanggang dito na lang tayo
Masakit Umasa sa sa mga katulad mo
Magaling lang sa Umpisa
Siguro Masaya siya sa Umpisa
Wala naman kasi tayong Matinong Usapan
ano man ang ibig sabihin ng MU na yan
Malabong Umusad ang relasyon na kahit kailan
at ako lamang ang namuhunan

Day 140: Talaga ba?

Hindi mo siya minahal
marahil nalungkot ka lang
o natuwa sa paniniwalang
meron sayong magmamahal

pero hindi mo siya minahal
siguro matagal nang malungkot ang buhay mo
at masyado mo nang dama ang pagiisa
pwede rin namang natuwa ka sa taong ito

dahil sa buhay na matagal ka nang magisa
at sa wakas at dumating na siya
kaya tatanungin kita ngayon
tingin mo ba talagang minahal mo siya?

o sadyang sumakto ang mga pagkakataon
kumbaga umayon lang ang tamang panahon
sa panahong parehas kayong marupok at luhaan
minsang nakalimutan at iniwang sugatan

tipong humahanap ka ng karamay
sakto naming nag abot siya ng kamay
kung ganun pala
bakit siya naman ang sinaktan mo?

pano mo sinaktan ang tao
na walang ibang hinangad kundi mahalin ka
Eh paano naman kung natuwa ka lang
para bang nagulat ka at at may dumating

kaya walang sinaalang alang
pinili mo siyang mahalin
nagitsa ang apoy ng ilang buwan
hanggang sa nanlamig na lang

bigla mo na lang iniwanan
ng wala man ang kapaliwanagan
natuwa ka lang o nalungkot
isa lang ang katotohanang masalimuot

ibinigay sayo ang tamang tao
sa maling panahon at pagkakataon
kung uulitin ko ang tanong
minahal mo ba talaga siya?

Day 139: Your Silence

In silence I found my solitude
as well as my comfort
I saw hat I have been missing
and embraced the silence around me

beautiful things does not need sound
as the sunlight splashes on to the ground
as breeze embraces and just went cold
as the clouds above cover the sun

In my personal silnce
I had a dome of peace
I shut the world outside
and found serenity

however, it is not the same
when you produce the sound of silence
when my world become silent, I found peace
when you turn silent, I was anxious

your silence left me terrified
as I did not know what I just did
thoughts have cluttered in my head
yet none of those gave me an answer

your silence has left me in despair
as I could not think properly
In my head are millions of conclusion
yet my body refuse to move

I did not receive a message which is very clear
that your silence was the message itself
I will forever wonder of what you thought
while patiently waiting for a word

If your silence is what you wish to say
then please give me a sign to go
for I cannot handle these thoughts
and for a lifetime I hope you speak once more

Day 138: (2) Bakit?

Bakit ikaw pa rin ang laman ng isip ko?
Nakapaloob sa panaginip at bungang tulog ko
Bumabagabag sa damdaming kumakawala
At ginigising pa rin ang pusong na dapat ay tulog ba
Alam kong matagal na akong sumuko
Na ang damdamin mo
Ay iayon sa damdamin ko
Sinikap limutin, at bumaling sa iba
Ngunit sigaw ng puso, ay ikaw talaga
Iba talaga dating mo sakin
Mula sa pahapyaw na ngiti at nakaw na tingin
Mga simpleng bati at malakas na sigaw
Na kahit masakit sa tenga ay okay basta ikaw
Sa mga nakaw na sandali kita naagaw
Sa kalawakang Hindi ko lubos na saklaw
Magnanakaw na nga ang turing ko saking sarili
Sa mga ninakaw Kong ngiti,  tingin at sandali
Marahil minahal kita sa maling panahon
Dahil di ko lubos kilala ag sarili ko ngayon
Kulang pa ang hubog ng mga taon
At nakakahiya pa na ang pang libre ko ay aking baon
Sinabi mo sakin na wag ako aasa
Kaso anong magagawa ko gusto talaga kita
Nais pa kitang suyuin pagdating ng panahon
Ngunit hindi sa kasalukuyang pagkakataon
Balang araw ako ay hihigit sa kung sino ako
Ngunit Hindi magbabago pagtingin ko sayo
Pag dating ng araw na mayroon na Kong ipagmamalaki
Tsaka kita susuyuin muli

Day 138: (1)Kung Sino ngayon

Mahal kita wala ng pero preno basta mahal kita
Higit sa kung sinoman pangako ikaw lang talaga
Nais kong ibigay sayo ang mundo
At gagawin ko lahat basta ako'y mapa saiyo
Higit sa ngiti mo ang minahal ko sayo
At higit pa sa sapat ang gagawin ko para mapasayo
Handà akong ibigay ang buong buhay ko
Basta tanggapin mo ako

Nakakatawang, andaling bitawan ng mga salita
O kaya isulat sa oras na humalik ang papel sa tinta
Madaling gumawa ng katedral ng pangako
At madaling magburo ng matatamis na salita

Pero wag ka magalala dahil Hindi ito halik sa hangin
Hindi sulat sa tubig o ukit sa buhangin
Kayang panindigan ang mga salitang ito
Ngunit hindi ng taong nasa harap mo

Hindi, dahil masyado pang marupok ang aking pagkatao
Hindi, dahil Hindi pa ko perpektong hulma ng kung sino ako
Hindi, dahil ako'y bata pa at baka ikaw ay masaktan
Hindi, dahil marami pa Kong dapat patunayan

Mahal ka naman ng taong nasa harap mo
Handa niyang gawin ang lahat makuha lang ang iyong oo
Ipaglalaban ka kung humarap ang tukso
At ibibigay ang lahat ng oras sa iyo

Ngunit mahirap magmahal ng iba
Kung mismong sarili mo ay di mo lubos kilala
Sa paghanap ng sarili kita natagpuan
Ngunit nais ko munang may mapatunayan

Kaya lagi mong tatandaan
Na may taong nagmamahal sayo ng lubusan
Higit pa sa inyong naiintindihan
Higit pa sa kaninong kamalayan

May nagmamahal sayo pero d siya karapat dapat sayo
Dahil ng taong nasa harapan mo
Ay kulang upang mahalin ka
At di ako papayag na kalahating pagmamahal ang iyong makukuha

Pagdating ng panahon sana ay makita muli kita
Dahil sa ngayon ay malabo pa talaga
Pangako, muling susuyuin kita
Dahil ang katotohanan ay
Mahal na mahal ka ng taong nasa harapan mo
Ngunit Hindi karapat dapat ang taong nasa harapan mo

Day 137:Foundations Built

a broken heart and empty cash
has thought me things, I need in life
the scars I had and tears I shed
climbed me through, rock bottom

but these only made, me a better man
As I lay my foundations, on a broken soul
I learned to seek, the eye of storm
believing that, nothing can touch me

however you, destroyed these walls
and crumble all, of my foundations
despite all this, a strong demeanor
I will forever fall, for your smile

Day 136: Frankenstein

You don't remind me of anyone else
for you are a unique specimen
and you don't deserve the second best
for being a memento will only mean
that you will be shadowed
by the person I mentioned

Rather, you are my Frankenstein
for you are a patchwork, of everything I longed for
from you sparkling eyes and brilliant mind
to your curving smile to pleasant odor
your fall of hair and chubby cheeks
your words that in my mind always slips

you are the prayer I once prayed
and the wish I once wished
the hope that I had hope
now you are the answer to my prayers
and the fulfillment of my wishes
and the hope I finally received

So my sweet Frankenstein
never misinterpret my interpretation
because I finally met you in the wrong time
and you are everything I wish for
embodied within a person
and that makes you who you are

Day 135: Love and trust

Love and trust decided to go in a church
across the town square, between the maple trees
then love came on too soon
with trust still getting ready
by the time trust came love was crying
"What happened" asked trust
"I got lost on the way" answered love
"I guess I can go on  without you but
I cannot last without you." Love added

Day 134: Late

To this moment I regret
That I knew to too late
The tides of time is against us
And the hourglass is out of sand

Time was never a faithful companion
As it was never one's ally
I guess you will never believe me
For I have no time left, to prove
My feelings that cane so late
For I have met you not any sooner

In this late moment
I cannot promise continuation
For we have our own goals to pursue
And we must part ways

I am not a fan of promises
But I will give it a shot
To this forward I will wait
Until time will decide
And I will meet you again

But for the remaining time we have
I shall make a full use of it
Every second into minutes and minutes to hours
Hours to days and goodbye

I just wanna thank you
Even with the brief moment in time
You were my source of happiness

Day 133: Happy Mother's Day!

For someone who saw my tears
and who saw my rages
someone who saw my scars
and all my imperfections
saw how I grew
and raised me up
deserves the better praise
for the man I am today
and the man I will be

I am nothing without you
from the moment
I am in your womb
and to this moment
where I am under your roof
I am a complete dependent
on the love you give

You are the perfect combination
of how to love and being tough
of how can someone give up everything
just to give others everything

You gave a whole new definition of love
since you are the living proof
that love is never about what you give
rather, love is about what you give up

how you gave up your passion was everything
and how you stepped out of comfort zone
how you gave the world you perceive
just so you can give the world to ours

I will never be half the person you are
but I promise you I will do my best
for you gave me the life I have right now
and I am forever in your debt

Day 132: Life sucks

We all know that life sucks
It will always go downhill
and you will never know why
some days you can conquer the world
and some days
you can barely get out of bed

there are times you will feel your worst
and times where you feel your best
it will never be a gray shaded life darling
it will always be black or white
with no in between

Life sucks, We know
but Despite all of this
I promise you one thing
be happy and glee
or be sad and miserable
I will always stand by your side

Day 131: Beautiful

In a simple attire she was all
A ponytail with no make up on
She was the proof that simplicity
Was more than enough for beauty
Still I look at her from afar
And after all this time
I am still in awe
She always keep me up at night
Thinking.. 
No person has the right to be this beautiful

Day 130: What is she like?

What is she like?
- A perfect embodiment of beauty
in which God perfectly sculptured
from the finest marble
as her smile was carved
from the perfect chisel there was.
                                                      -Said Pride

What is she like?
- The light of my life
the fire in my eyes
my full moon in a dark night sky
the stars in a moonless night
the oasis in a desert
My raft in an islannd
                                                    -Said Hope

What is she like?
- The source of my everything
with the power to leave me with nothing
she has a gun on my heart
and a knife on my throat
while I love her with all my heart
                                                   -Said Fear

What is she like?
- She was unlike anything
I have ever seen in my entire life
She was the night sky and twilight at once
different from others
a box of chocolates it seems
a box I have yet to open
A heart I have yet to touch
A life I have yet to enter
                                                   -Said Excitement

What is she like?
- It's like a homeless man
asking for money
but the kids gave him chocolates
unaware that he has diabetes
but he did not really complain
as he was hungry in the first place
                                                 - Said Confusion

What is she like?
- My life yet unsure of my existence
forever wondering if she will love me too
holding on sweet conversations
yet prideful and scared to make a step
toward more than friend ship
So you look at her as if you saw nothing
while deep inside
she was the only one I see
But I know she doesn't notice me much
                                                  -Said Sadness

Day 129: Pinned on her

The city lights has fade and gone

as the sun rises on the new horizon

the burning sun will rule once again

for the hours where he is called king

another day has passed 

still not a moment of rest

I sought comfort in a person's smile

where a glimpse could get me brighten up

all my hope is pinned on her

as my faith and strength crumbles

I could not stand at this moment

If I had not thought of her

In this hell I walk around

where the sun keep spitting out

fires to set the earth ablaze

I found my comfort in 

a lovely dame

I will forever woo her

As my heart is hers for the taking

she keeps me up at night

and keeps me fighting

I guess this damsel is not in distress

maybe in our story, the knight is just tired

tired of the old and wavering years

waiting for a damsel's embrace

with my hope all pinned on her

I shall fight with a heavy heart

As I struggle on the battlefield

with her heart on my clutch

Day 128: Break

We all need a break once in a while

maybe a loud scream or sleep will suffice

maybe out of the world for once

away form the fast paced city life

away from from the school and people

around you

maybe just once

I wish for a break

my mind is tangled up

and I have the attention span of a rodent

I am inefficient as of the moment 

yet I try to make to make amends

trying to stay when you're about to break

is the greatest achievement I have so far

I'm one step closer to the edge

and I'm about to break

I just want this to be over

and let this week pass

I don't want anymore of this

just stop

I just wanna sleep

Day 127: For the girl who made me write again

For the girl who made me write again
you have my sincerest regards
for every blank paper came to life
every white canvas had colors
and every dark room lit up

the dead trees had a sense of purpose
as my pen bleeds and creates
my imagination has found
its rightful place
and came to life

special symbol became words
and these words turned to phrases
these phrases turned to sentence
then these sentence turned to paragraphs
and all of these started when you entered my life

you made every canvas a living piece
as I  turn my words to art
I mold these letters and form these phrases
and smile like an idiot
for finally creating one

I do not credit these writings to me
for I am merely the encoder
the true piece of inspiration was you
So you deserve the endless praise
in every writing I make

I only write the words and symbols
and you give life to them
if to you, you are nothing more
to me,
you are everything

a walking piece of art is what you are
and I am just the writer
as if the canvas of life was  white
and you are the paint
Thank you

Day 126: Stress

I can't handle all of this

and I'm about to break

I cannot grasp reality

and I cannot fix cracks

The ceiling is falling down

and my health is declining

Can't remember when I last slept

for a good eight hours

the finals exam is coming

and I have yet open a book

The thesis defense is approaching

and we are not half way ready

My mind is bleeding 

and my tears are falling

I am stressed and sleep deprived

My college application is also in haywire

as the course are not aligned

If this is all a test

I am pretty sure I failed now

My blood is boiling and my hand are shaking 

my heart is throbbing and my eyes are hurting

I want to skip class but I can't

I just hope to live through this all

and live to tell a tale

but for now I will struggle

and hope my body will still stand

Day 125: Before you.

Before you, the sky was nothing
just a blue horizon with no silver lining
heavy clouds with dark happening
Since then I know it was gonna rain

The songs around were just tunes
and the lyrics were gibberish
love songs does not make any sense
music was something that puts me to sleep

The stars were just source of light
and so was the moon above
The sun only blinded my eyes
and the night sky is a sign of slumber

Before you, my life was different
a black and white palette
an empty canvas
an exhausting routine

but I guess commercial breaks happen
and you suddenly came in
with the main event of the show
I felt joy once more

The sky began to shine again
and the cloud showed silver linings
the heavy clouds did come and rain
but only to cleanse what has been impure

every song is now a melody
every love song made sense to me
and suddenly, all of them are all about you
even at this moment I hum a few

the stars are the one I found in your eyes
and the moon was all I could ever think of
because in any way we are under the same sky
and looking at the same moon

the sun did not blind my eyes
since now you are my source of light
and like the sun I tried not look at you
but you are all I ever see

The night sky felt so natural
as its cold winds embrace me
under the same night sky
I can call you my equal

The white canvas finally had colors
the brightest ones in the palette
I guess my empty canvas
was your picture waiting to be drawn

Day 124: Queen Mera

Beneath the ocean is full of mysteries

but the surface is astounding 

Terrifying it's mystery it seems

but this fear leads to further fascination

the things I saw left me in awe

I love the things that I've seen so far

and the things I'm yet to see

So let me dive deeper into the sea

In the heart of the ocean in which I am

to conquer and maybe own someday

With my heart on my sleeve

I will seek the heart I always feared

I hope fear don't defeat me

for the thing I long to own

is right before my very eyes

It's disappointing to bail now

So I guess the ocean is truly terrifiyng

so one needs courage to face the tide

I guess today I'll try

rather than all my life asking why

Day 123: Minerva

HUMSS 1 Grade- 12 Athena has been my second home and family for almost 10 months. The time was short, yes, but the dent it left on me has been throbbing up until this moment. The myriad of moments has never fallen short and every single scenario that occurred has been meaningful, you just have to look. My adviser changed drastically over a period of time. Ranging from an authoritarian whose mere presence makes everyone tremble to a sweet bigger sister who exhibits tough love. If there is one thing that I am proud of in this section, it is the growth of my classmates and how they interact with one another. Who am I in the classroom, however, is another story to tell.

            Sheenah May Manggao is my adviser. She is 24 years old and that is pretty much the personal information I know about her. She is very mysterious and her aura is very confusing. She never shares any personal information and despite with her being my longest teacher in Calamba Doctors’ College, from the first semester of grade 11 and last semester of grade 12, I have never heard her share anything besides the happenings inside the school vicinity. Her relationship towards her students is ambiguous. Although, most of the people I know are terrified of her to the point that they do not know if she is joking or serious so they just stare into the abyss thinking of the proper reaction. That is the case for Athena in the earlier months; we were so awkward with her that we could not react properly also. Maybe it is the fact that she did not allow us to go out even during break time and her punishments were absurd that time. Imagine having our girls sit on the cold floor for the whole day during their period. However, as time goes by it all fade away. Her heart of stone slowly softened to a heart of clay. The “Dragon” of Athena slowly turned into a duck. Sure, her rules are still implemented and followed but her punishments makes more sense today than what they are then. Despite her setbacks, I respect her and applaud her as a teacher. I can go as far as calling her one of the best instructors I have, even on par with my Calamba City Science Highschool teachers. In terms of my relationship with her, as mentioned earlier, I really respect and admire her despite this not being visible on my actions. She also forced me to join numerous activities to represent the section including beauty pageants. We are pretty close but the teacher student boundary is still present. There are millions of words that I can say about her and most of them are pleasant. I have never seen anything like her, she is one in a million and she will forever have my praise. It is fun teasing her about being single though. Maybe the best thing about her is that there is so much to know about her and she has so much to grow at the same time.

            My classmates range from insanely competitive to appearing only once a month, I love some of them but most I hate. If there is something that I can compare my relationship with them, it is a Pringles can. I can insert my hand inside the can like four inches in it but now I have to tilt the can and a lot of crumbs have accumulated at the bottom of the can so they all go spilling on my face. What I am trying to say is that the diameter of a Pringles can is way too small like the way I can fit in with my classmates. I can connect with some but to connect with everyone is another story. To name every one of them will consume so much time, so I will mention a few who made an impact upon me, negative or positive. Danica Libres, given that she is not as bright as anyone in the room, her kindness left me in awe everytime. She may annoy me at times but I can go as far as calling her one of the nicest person I ever knew. She does not lie and secrets are safe with her. She is fun to hang out but at the same time she knows how to exhibit camaraderie but at the same time she puts me in my place and checks me everytime anything gets over my head. She is really a gem in a place I considered dump. The guys in the room are the also notable people I like, they even led me to an impression that without girls, the world is infinitely times better. Everytime I am with guys, there is no drama present and things just flow so natural. It is where I feel that you can have fun while not constantly worrying about your choice of words. Xyzo Dimapilis is one of those guys; a lot of my classmates just throw him off the curb for being childish, chickboy and not being that bright. But despite these repercussions about him, I can say that he is one of the truest people I know. He does what he wants and speaks his heart out even in times that is really inappropriate. It is saddening how his opinion is invalidated everytime he speaks. He is a great friend and the one for the keeps. Warren Suazo, Courtley Zaporteza and Mario Borre are also great considering how they act according to the situation. I guess in a room dominated by women, it is nice to talk to some guys. Karl Aldovino is great also but I cannot see him eye to eye at times. Hr is brilliant yet troubled and may be suffering from a personality disorder. But we can get along and that is pretty good. I like john Lloyd as he makes me laugh everytime along with Vergel. Leslie Espenida is my bestfriend in class as we were friends since last year and she feels if there is something wrong with me, I find it comforting that a person does not need words to know that I am crying for help. In general, my classmates in Athena has their own groups and peer orientation but in overall we are quiet and nosy. I get along with everyone just fine and I can adapt easily with their personalities. Although there are times that they piss me off and I wish I was home. But overall, my classmates are great.

            I inside the classroom am like a chameleon in the wild. I prefer to blend in but at the same time, I prefer to be left alone. In times I tend to help and be a people pleaser but as much as possible I avoid people and see to it that I am comfortable in my own skin. In my early day as a member of Athena; I had my fun and I tried to do everything for them. Even the things that I am not obliged to do; I see to it that I help everyone. It is not that I am expecting anything in return but because I have learned to see them different from my previous section considering my previous section was a nightmare. It was fun and games until we are pushed back into a wall. My view and attitude within the classroom drastically changed the moment the dula dulaan activity came. I hate when tasks are computed and every little things done has to be monitored. The temper of everyone went short and it was utter chaos. In that I decided to spend less time inside the classroom and isolate myself away from them. I cannot grasp their point of equality. A mere activity changed everything I have built up on that section resulting in my repellence on it. the event was successful but my distaste has never changed. Back then I had tons of fun inside the classroom but now, I tend to isolate myself as possible. I guess some wounds inflicted are not meant to be healed. I guess isolation is better than further disappointment.

            In conclusion, I wish there was a parallel of this where we start rough and end as a better section. Maybe start all over again, maybe something of a counterpart. I hate that I am so optimistic at the beginning of the year and now, I and just begging to get out. I guess a section really hits the lowest when the best things about it are two friends and your adviser. Overall, Athena gave me experience and lessons I will forever carry.

Day 122: Give Up.

They do not know the pain
Of always falling short
Trying to sew your bones
And still left in pieces

I never ask for anything I give
I just want peace of mind
But I guess the universe
Is not that kind

They do not know the suffering
Of a person who tried to please
Everyone and save everyone
And still be condemned by everyone

Trying to fix what is broken
And trying to mend the scars
Of the people around you
Will never result in kind

Never I have thought
That I would lose faith this much
To give up mending
And to give up everyone

It is not the stress I cannot handle

It's the things that are unnecessary
Yet still demands attention
Wastes my time and energy

I can survive these paperworks
And I can face the examinations
I can lead any group
But I can't meddle in any unnecessary crap

It's not the storm that I am worried
It's the aftermath of it
For I can live through this day
And barely stand tomorrow

Day 121: Finals Rant

Today my vacation kissed an end

as the reality kicks in

once again I'm back in hell

and heaven seems too good to be true

I'm just too stressed for the things will come

and those have left, I have forgotten

my internet is slow which really sucks

and the girl I like seened me, which sucks

tomorrow is another fight

and another war to face

the exam is moved 

and our thesis is far from finished

I have no complete tasks

as I try to multitask

I can't face these alone

but ergh, what the hell

In face of this I wish to give up

and just to sleep for the next week to come

I could give in and give up

but after everything, why now?

The upcoming weeks and days 

will be the hardest days so far

the school has taken a toll on me

which caused my temper to rise

In the end just wish me well

that I come back in once piece

I hope I'm still alive after all this

or even barely breathing

Ironic it is that it's for our future

when it is killing out present

I find it hard to comprehend

even now that I am stressed

In this stanza I end my rant

for all of this could do none

as my paper works will always pile

so finals, do your worst