Day 39: Flooding thoughts (Part 1: Original)

All my life I tried to fit in

sought where the grass in greener

Jumped fences, crossed bridges

built fences, Burned bridges

However, life finds a way to hate me

Every big decision leads to another disaster

adjusting to the lifestyle different from before

changing masks, trading faces

Curving smiles, carving scars

Pieces of my life puzzle doesn't fit

This world took more then it gave

I have my family yes,

But please keep in mind that I didn't as for more

I didn't ask for too much

so pleased don't demand from me

Outside my family, people are rarely nice to me

So in one time that it was in a brink of destruction

Fate decided to make a joke

My family in a brink of being broken

the people around me decided they hate me.

I use to say what I need to say 

So I can walk away

It led me to continuous troubles

Speaking my heart out was false

It would kill me to have to stay trapped

Now I speak "I don't care"
Now I'm a cynic and a jerk and insensitive

I walk away before I could get involved

I held my tongue, bind my thoughts

And ignored those he needed me

I've always had it rough

Feeling I had enough

"I'm here" and "Don't care" utters differently

yet the impacts remains the same

Where do I place myself?

So go ahead all cut me loose

Everytime I'm not of use

this life I didn't choose

everyone has been a ruse 

All they did is give me bruise

But my world has yet to shrink

And I'm still holding to that brink

If it's all a joke give me a wink

But you can't erase what's wrote in ink

I just hope everything will sync

Maybe some things can't be take back

like a carving on a plaque

I cannot mend the crack

I've never had fixing knack

Just let out!