Day 59: Not

It's not easy being alone
and always feeling left out
It's not easy to live another day
when you feel like the world has ended
it's not easy to put emotions into words
when they are the one eating you alive
It's not

Day 58: Pressure

The walls around me are closing in
and the ground beneath me is sinking
I could not find comfort in the light
as it only blinded me
I feel cold so I seek the fire
only to find that it burns me
Without comfort or solitude
I seek the higher ground
only to find that I will stumble and fall
Here I am today
feeling trapped in a world that
people imposed upon me

Day 57: Bad poems

"Short people"
Short people are always angry
for the sole reason
that they are closer to hell

"Bite the bullet"
Bite the bullet might be inspiring
and often quoted
but never in a million years
say this in amid of shootout

"Break the ice"
A statement that can build friendships
or destroy one
when walking on a frozen lake
do not break the ice

"Butter someone up"
A great expression!
or a really weird fetish

"Red handed"
A cute little boy was caught red handed
his hands are actually red
as he dipped them on
the sidewalk corpse

"Don't throw the baby out with the bath water"
that's fucked up
just don't

"Eat humble pie"
A great innovation that humanity has!
Although it is really weird
how people couldn't follow laws
and yet make pies out of humility

"Cold shoulder"
A group of cannibals enjoying a nice dinner
when someone lashed out the room
I guess someone didn't heat up
the kid from the trick or treat

"Cold turkey"
Go! Cold turkey!
the man exclaimed
although he was unaware that
the turkey suffers from hypothermia

"Jaywalker"
He was hit by a motorcycle
he didn't suvive

"Kick the bucket"
The old man wasn't ready to kick the bucket
however fate has other plans
which is pretty ironic
since he died when his head hit
by a bucket kicked

"Pleased as punch"
when I punched her in the face
she was far from pleased

"Rub the wrong way"
Well that's what she said last night

"Rule of thumb"
It's quick and easy actually
if you can stick it on your nose
you're hideous

"Run amok"
unfortunately, the bullet was faster
than amok could run

"Saved by the bell"
As I stand for the recitation I didn't
know what to answer
I was relieved to hear the bell rang
and see the school burning

"Show your true colors"
Someone who has six layers
of foundation in a long time needs this

"Sleep tight"
Sleep tight said the mother
as they sleep in a room full of
rats and cockroaches

"Beans"
she spilled the beans
and everyone was pissed
no one has their coffee that day

Day 56: Kilay is life

         For multiple decades women had multiple perspectives on beauty. Whether it's the hair, shoulder or lips. One category of beauty manage to emerge in this era: Eyebrows. Women today are so obsessed with their eyebrows that the millenials dubbed it as: "kilay is life"

        Eyebrows have been a cosmetic product ever since the ancient Egypt. Pharaohs use it as a sign of power. Cleopatra used the carbon-lined eyebrows and since then the style has evolved. From the pencil-like style of Marlene Dietrich  in the 30's. Audrey Hepburn had her defining eyebrows in which they are thickened to emphasize her doe eyes in the 50's. Glossy eyebrows were a trend when Marie Helvin introduced it in the 70's and the bushy brows by Brooke Shield in the 80's.  The 90's was all about the pencil thin look inspired by Pamela Anderson. In this era, the thicker the better, inspired by Cara Delevigne. The only recorded era where eyebrows were not much of a deal is the Victorian Era of London where a wider forehead is a sign of beauty and the women plucked their eyebrows.

       Women are aware that they will be judged especially about their looks and it is not only the male perspective but also their peers. Since eyebrows are also about power and self-definition they try to perfect it as much as possible.  The shape and depth of eyebrows are crucial since it defines and expression or that girl's mood for that moment. The thing about eyebrows is that they can be shaped even what state of living you have since they are pretty cheap and safe. Unlike the false lashes or the lip filler of the Kardashians.

       This trend or obsession or fetish whatever you call it is pretty normal in my opinion. I can go as far as to even calling it an art form. Although in my own experience stumbling upon how the girls do those eyebrows, bothers me a lot. I've seen women do their make up at keep. Instead of having eyebrows "on fleek" they looked like the scribbled back page of a notebook. Another moment is when we have an activity for Political Science and Trends, I didn't get a chance to speak because the time allotted for the forum was taken by the time they are doing a photo shoot and doing their eyebrows. I know "kilay is like" but "kilay" will also be the reason I want to take their lives away from them

    In a guy's perspective, I couldn't care less about their eyebrows. Additionally I never heard a guy say "She's cute, I like her artificially crafted eyebrows. I'm going to court her". It's really not that appealing to guys but in that statement I realized something.

      Women fix their eyebrows to please no other than themselves and I see that as a positive thing. This trend on eyebrow drawing maybe a step toward girls learning their self-worth because I really do not get the concept of the dress code the society has on women. Girls of today need to learn that they don't have to be the cover girl magazine or dress to impress guys. They simply need to be comfortable with their own skin. Sure eyebrows drawing are artificial but if it can boost a girl's confidence why not?

       "Kilay is life" is a term often misunderstood as egotistical, flirty or ludicrous but I guess every girl has the right to make herself beautiful.

Day 55: In Another Lifetime

At dawn there feel my remorse

remembering the what ifs 

If I ever called you mine

With the night sky shattered 

and the orange star rising

Seeing the day after

could never be hopeful

Years, I seek your love for mine

however, fate and you was never kind

I lost and lost and lost the grind

I keep and keep sinking on my mind 

that I can never ever call you mine

At dawn I see the burning sun

slowly burning the dreams I had

As far I thought that I could run

I have to face the music and fate's plan

Here I stand broken and beaten

Waiting and waiting for the twilight to come

I know and learned that in this life 

I could never ever call you mine

So the days that I fear death

Has already perished

For I can hope that in another lifetime 

I stood a chance

and death is one thing 

I would embrace

Day 54: Love is...

Love is weird

You choose a person and say

"this one's mine, I will take off

the arm whoever does"

then you do stuff with him/ her

then try to adjust to the life with 

the person you "love"

until you cannot do the same 

normal things when they leave

Love is like 

like a prince love a princess

like a father loves beer

like how the president loves violence

or like how Juan Ponce Enrile lived for so long

that he wanted to die but he doesn't so he just 

go along everything

Love is wanting something

like how a researcher always want citations

like a student praying for suspension

It's just you want a person

like how other people want Federalism

and how other just want democracy

Love is about taking a hit 

for someone you love

and suddenly realize you are 

horrendously bleeding with bruises

and you just lay there and die

Love is a guy searching for a great shirt

to wear in a party but as time goes by

and realizes he's late

he just pick whatever crap he has on

Love is like a lobster who can live forever

but since he taste so good with butter

he realized that life is a bitch

because no one understands love

like someone who is forsaken for it

Day 53: You Deserve...

You deserve someone who has great

sense of humor, good-looking, smart

and someone who is also beyond 

the reach of this vast universe

Someone good to be true

existing in the reality

Someone you can fall

without breaking to pieces

Someone who is a superman

yet Clark Kent at the same time 

someone who will fall IN love

with you everyday and not

fall OUT of love everyday

Someone who can keep you safe 

and independent at the same time

In the end it will be a tragedy

as that certain someone

will never be me

Day 52: For you

Being self-conscious and strong at the same time

is a deadly combination

People expect you to do this 

and that for them and

they expect you to accept their

shower of bullshit every time

which you simply smile and laugh

through everything 

but deep inside you know,

it's eating you alive

The downfall of being intelligent

or in vague term; academically intelligent

is that people expect you to be the best everytime

You, yes you, are expected to rise every time you fall

To shake off the dirt 

and to wipe off the blood on your shirt

They expect you to stand 

when in reality, you prefer being down

but being down is painful,

as people will step on you

it's either you became a rag or 

an emotionless robot expected to 

do favor for them every single time

You want to cut them

yes! you want to cut yourself from the world

but you can't 

because there is someone deep inside you

so eager to impress 

so desperate for acceptance that

being used will barely be noticeable

A part of you will love them

a part of you will fear them

and a part of you will crave for them

at the end of the day we just want people

to leave us alone 

but at the same time 

never leave us out

you tried to cut yourself

from the world which hurt you

but boy, did that go well

they condemned you, yes!

even those you respected!

staying away from trouble 

only leads to trouble,

yeah, this sucks

you want to be saved but you won't be

for the reason that you already saved them

you're not needed anymore

So in the end, after everyone you helped

and everyone you picked up

They will stare at you 

"Come and watch the chubby boy

with mental health declines and laugh 

as he attempts to help everyone but himself"

In the end of the day you can only smile

and accept that you're as good as you can be useful

Acceptance will be the only thing

we will never stop chasing in this lifetime

I just hope you handle them

even after everything

Day 51: I don't deserve you

I don't deserve you, for the reason as follows
You are more than what I could have wished for
and you're too good to be true
if the sky is the limit for me
then you are the galaxy
in any way
one way or another
I don't see myself
Smiling beside you
or even holding your hand
It's funny that the woman of my dreams
Is not even present in my wildest imaginations
maybe it only means that
at the back of my mind, in my subconscious
you are just beyond my reach

Day 50: Porcelain Sculpture

There she was sitting pretty once more

in the corner of the room, 

at the corner of my eye

There she was in her own little world

without knowing that she was mine

Her voice was melody crafted from a harp

as her pitch was perfect and pleasant

I could listen to an album of her voice 

Since they put me to sleep 

at the same time raise my heartbeat

the moment her porcelain skin

embraces the warm sunlight

I couldn't stand to her and gaze

Maybe It's just I'm too dazzled

As I always get blinded 

She's sweet, she's tough

a joker who knows the light of the moments

The kind of girl the you get along with

so it's not a sin being attracted to her

a good girl, a bad girl, a good bad girl

half good, half bad, half girl

A girl like this might only exist on the books

guess what, she's you

I want love, yet you exceeded my expectations

I'm not prince Charming, so

you're not gonna settle for me

I know she won't settle for less than perfect

She may want a perfect one and perfect life

but deep inside, "I don't deserve her"

I can only promise to love her 

even in the days when she's not her best

I know I suck and maybe she can make me suck less

cause that's how love works

I wish to be with her

as a part of being alive

And I would know cause I know her for a day

Day 49: Joke

Gusto mo ng joke? yung tipong matatawa ka?

yung sobrang tawa mo masusuka ka? o masasaktan

ka ng tiyan kakatawa? yung maluluha ka na lang?

pwes ito na! ihanda mo ang sarili mo

"Minahal kita"

Oo, minahal kita di ba nakakatawa?!

Tipong kada binabanggit ko ang salitang mahal kita

sa anyong naganap ay nasasaktan ang aking kalamnan

Nasusuka ako sa bawat panahon na aalalahanin ko

na minsan kitang minahal

pero lumuluha ako sa bawat oras na maiisip ko na 

tapos na tayong dalawa

Pero ako yung nasaktan eh bakit hanggang huli

ako yung humingi ng tawad? 

kinailangan kong hanapin ang sarili ko

na minsang nawala sa mga bisig mo

kaya ako nawala ng walang iniimik na kahit ano

Bakit hanggang huli, kasalanan ko na nasaktan ako?

Mali ba na ginawa ko ang tama?

O mali na minsan sayo ako'y tinamaan?

Tinuruan mo ko magmahal ngunit

hindi kung pano ka limutin

Hahanapin mo ang sarili mo?

Pano naman ang mga nawala sa akin?

dahil sayo nagulo pa ang mundo ko

bakit ka pa dumating kung may naka handa

ka na pa lang paglisan?

ano to gaguhan?

isinama kita saking mga dasal pero bakit 

ako naging katatawanan?

Hinangad ko ang buhay natin 

sa sunod na limang dekada

ayun pala pang isang taon ka lang

Ginulo mo ang isip at ayos ng buhay ko

ikaw ang naging LAKAS ko 

ngunit sa tagal ng panahon

ako ay naSAKAL pero ang kapal mo

dahil ikaw pa ang may LAKAS ng loob

na makipag KALAS

Ginawan mo ko ng katedral sayong mga pangako

at dagat ng luha ang naglubog dito

ginawa mong umaga ang bawat dapit hapon

ngunit sa huli ang lahat ay naging takip silim

Tama sila na ikaw ang buwan

dahil pagdating ng araw ay iniwan mo rin ako

Pero kahit ganun sa iyo ay minsan akong sumaya

Kaya ito ako nag papasalamat sa iyo

Salamat, sa mga gabing tumagal ng ilang araw

At salamat mga araw na naging gabi

Salamat, sa matatamis na salita 

at salamat sa mga mapait na kapalit nito

Salamat sa mga bagay na binuo natin 

at salamat sa pag giba nito

Salamat dahil sayo di ko alam ang gagawin ko

Ngayon ibibigay ko na ang punchline

Sa iyong paglisan

nahanap ko ang aking sarili

Day 48: Sapat Sa apat

Apat na taon, bago magbunga ang puno ng rambutan

Apat na taon, Bago sumibol ang sampaguita

Apat na taon, Nagbunga na ang rambutan at sumibol ang sampaguita

Apat na taon, bago pumatak ang abentenuwebe ng pebrero

Apat na taon, may nagbago nga ba?

Pipiliin kita sa libu libong kababaihan

Pero di mo ako pinili sa aming dalawa

Tinanggap kita sa daan daan mong kasalanan

Ngunit sa aking isa, ako’y iniwasan mo na

Pero alam mo ang nakakatawa? Babalikan pa rin kita

Hindi ba parang napuri kita masyado 
Sabi mo hindi tayo tao, bagay tayo, pwes hayop ka
pero paumanhin
pwede ngang bagay tayo, hayop ang panahon
At sadyang mga tao lang tayo

Pero kung isang bagay man ang tumatak sakin
yun ang mga kasinungalingan mo
diba mahilig ka mambaligtad
ngayon gagawin ko naman sayo

ang BINUO kong kumpiyansa ay BINASAG mong tuluyan
Nilagay kita sa MABUTING KAMAY pero SINAMANG palad ako sayo
Bakit kung anong ITINALAS ng dila mo ay siyang IPINUROL ng utak mo
sa mga panahon na tayo ay NAGTATALO ikaw lagi ang PANALO
Sa PAGANGAT ko sa iyo ay siya namang IKINABAGSAK ko
hindi ko alam MALI  ba na minsan ay TINAMAAN ako sayo

Mga pangako ko na ITINAGA SA BATO ay tinapon mong tuluyan
sarap mong BATUHIN NG ITAK
ipinangako ko sayo ang LANGIT pero bakit sa IMPIYERNO ako napdpad
ITINULAK mo ko palayo sabay HINATAK upang saktan muli
di ko alam kung may TAMA ka ba dahil MALI na ang nakikita ko
di ko matanggap na sa kung anong INIT ng pagtanggap ko sa iyo
ay siyang LAMIG ng mga pahaging mo

siguro mabuting tapusin na ang away na DILAW at PULA
at PAKAWALAN ko na ang minsan kong PINANGHAWAKAN
lagi akong TUMUTUPAD pero bakit ako NAPAPAKO?
di na mahalaga si ang ANGHEL at DEMONYO
MALIWANAG ang mga salita ko wag mo na intayin MAGDILIM paningin ko

Pero alam ko na hindi sapat ipatikim sayo ang sarili mong gamot
kaya mula ngayon aalisin kita sa buhay ko
kung nilaro ko ang salita kanina uulitin ko
aalisin ko na ang "L" sa buhay ko

Nang nakilala kita akala ko problema ko'y LUTAS
ngunit sa pagtagal ako sayo'y UTAS
gumulo ang isip ko at nabansagang BAKLA
nang pinuno mo isip ko ng tanong na BAKA
dahil sayo kinailangan ko ng SALAMIN
dahil SA AMIN lumabo ka sa paningin
oo nag iba ka, naging LATA ka na walang laman
na pag tinanong ang sagot ay puro ATA lang naman
Tingin sakin lagi ay TALO ng mga TAO salamat sa iyo
ang pait sa aking labi ay LUMALASA
habang patuloy akong UMAASA

Pero sa kabila ng lahat salamat pa rin sa iyo
dahil minsan kang naging kaibigan at karamay ko
masakit man na dito tayo dinala
ng mapagbirong tadhana
Kaya sa huli ito ang aking dadalhin
kahit ang pusong sugatan, natapakan at niluraan
ay tumitibok pa rin

Sa apat na taon ako ay umaangal
Masakit man pero andyan na
ang sakit na natanggap
Ay sapat na sa apat

Day 47: Love (Part 1)

One thing about love is that
it's full of misconceptions
People are afraid of it
thinking that being in love
would only cause suffering
However, it's not the case here
Being in love is the most wonderful feeling
although it is one of the most
redundant experience you will ever have
As you will fall in love
not once, twice or even thrice
You will fall in love until you crash
And that is not a bad thing
Because being and falling in love never hurt
in fact, it is one of the most wonderful thing
in life besides passing a test or seeing your mother laugh
You know what hurts?
It's the rejection, the waiting, the martyrdom
the fact that you need reassurance,
the jealousy, the insecurity, the anxiety!
Oh god who know what!
The overthinking! the pain! the fact
that you are a mere imperfect creature
waiting to be replaced! yes!
those are the feelings that hurt
Associated with love? yes
But that doesn't mean it's where the love revolves
Those things will be a part of love
never the entirety of it
So never mistook love as a thing to be avoided
since it hurts like hell
it's a thing to be embraced and nurtured because
in reality, it's the best thing out there

Day 46: Hoodie

She looks so marvelous in a hoodie
I love the way she walks
the way she always hide in her hair
and when she twirls the ends of it
it's just so perfect

I do not wish to play a game of pretend
Denying the feelings I have all along
Maybe abrupt but true at it's best
Such grace, mind, and passion
The tears just pour

I could sulk up and shut in a room
In front of computer, playing all night
denying this feelings I have all along
I could succumb to all of these feelings
but what for?

I won't be the jester fool anymore
Acting stupid when asked
Frightened at best, tough at most
More than ready to face the world
I'll shout my feelings for you

How can one be wonderful in a lettered jacket?
the way the sunlight embraces you
that even your silhouette is beautiful
I love your chestnut brown eyes
the way it matches your hair

I hope that my message was clear
That my world wasn't finally grey
after all I've been through
I love who you are now
and who you will be

Day 45: Tributes and What ifs

Some moments are not to be defined with words

The agony is too terrible to define

I tried cling on a single metal cink

And wish to impel the inconceivable

Before deciding If it was sink or swim
I suddenly sank

A family that was whole suddenly

Starts crumbling to pieces

a nightmare turning to reality

Hours, I spent in front of a monitor

clearing the grief I have

I had my liking of silence, but not this one 

Here I stand pleading before a God

I halfheartedly believe

Father could have loved this silence

A perfect time to build a puzzle 

If only fate was kinder

My mother in shock, my sisters away

There was only one person I could cry on

Yes, the God I barely believed in

As I kneel before the altar 

I whispered this words:

"This is where I am and where I stand

I know I don't deserve you now, 

But here me out, just this once"

"Please spare his life, 

Or yet trade his life for mine

Nothing, I am without him

If he were still here, 

all would smile that would be enough"

But it's too late
It's just too late

Day 44: Letters for them

“Rivals” A person I considered my nemesis And even a rival at times Maybe some rough road happened And we would always butt heads But I still respect her mind	“Past Precious” I once sought her as my other But fate has other plans Even today I admire her But only in a friendly manner I wish her the best	“No other for a brother” I wish I’d met you sooner Cause I saw you as the coolest A female friend who is actually cool Someone who can be strong Yet Human at the same time	“Ardent” A strong and fierce one Standing by her convictions Sure, she may be short-tempered However, She grew so much As she knew how to handle it
“Adept” A really talented one, to be honest She can dance and sing She surprise me every time It seems like she can do anything And stay sane at the same time	“Insurgent” A silent insurgent A whisper cracked Corner dust Smokes and mirrors Cloaked at best	“Knives” Our ends may not have meet But she’s a good friend nonetheless I seldom interact with her A sharpened knife? Maybe a casting stone	“Ally” I’m happy we buried the hatchet As yesterday’s sin are erased We may have drifted apart And we were immature But I’m happy for the now
“Meager” A quiet, deep mystery As they say a quiet person is A dangerous person Someone also a great talker Maybe there is more to her	“Hefty” An enemy that turned out friend Was actually fine than I thought She may be stronger than me Although a bit childish I admire her	“Puzzles” Brilliant yet troubled I just hope that one day All of her scars heal And those pieces that fall apart Starts falling into place	“Stay tuned” My partner in a project That somehow I knew her well She was talented despite The outgoing and will spirit May be there’s more to her
“Stones” Thy more than meets the eye Where the river is shallow There lies a sticking rock Despite the waves and crash Stays in its place	“Chisel” A sculptor’s masterpiece The Eifel tower of an architect A math equation of Pythagoras The Yellow lane The mind of Einstein	“Respect” Things started out to be pretty odd Didn’t know how to approach Nonetheless, I respect her And everything she do especially her intelligence	“Princess” She may be a cynic or a brat But she’s my friend I’m thankful for her For even in times of defeat She stood up for me
“Damsels” In a world full of dragons Lie a maiden in a tower Yet! Never mistake for a damsel For the maiden herself Is par for a dragon	“Jolly” My hyperactive friend who is thin She’s smart and jolly Some say she’s pretty but nah I like her as a person I like her as my friend	“Sleeping Giant” She’s a bit sleepy and lazy at times So, it’s a mystery how she’s well I love how she’s tough yet At the same time fragile A fascinating odd combination	“Windows” Windows crack and ceilings hang Lights go dim as curtains rise Spotlights on one specific spot As outlets spark And mirrors shatter
“Coin” A fighter and a lover A concrete and a glass Never complete nor fulfilled Wise yet prone to crumble She’s both side of the coin	“Vessel” Seems like nothing much A trouble maker at best But if you really do get to know her She’s an affable one A potential in a vessel	“Shadows” Shrouded with mystery Such elegance with poise Though as much her appearance Is appealing, who knows What hides behind the shadows	“Likeness” She’s a silent one Yet a great one indeed We rarely hangout Yet She seems cool I wonder what she’s really like.
“Depth” A girl who has depth I love how every time we speak It Always range from Fun casual to Deep philosophies I love picking her mind	“Package” She’s witty, smart and attractive A total package at most I love how she grew so much In so little time She’s awesome	“Motion capture” A quiet girl with fierce passion I like how she’s elegant In every motion she does A director ready to capture This hazy thing called life	“Cloak and dagger” She’s quiet with underlying potential Her imagination is wild so is her observations A cloak and dagger indeed
“Behind the curtains” She’s pretty and powerful Vocal yet reasonable She stand by what her said Every bit of it Behind it all, she’s gentle	“Roses” Black roses grows in winter As the heavy snow falls A thunder begins to crack In a night with dark clouds And only lighting as light	“Loud sounds” A loud noise from the forest cracked As glasses from the city shattered Everything was in haywire As the mountains shake	“Vase” As a broken vase starts to mend There stands flower in a pot All her life wondering If she was placed in a Fragile yet appealing world
“Presents” Beneath the pine tree Is a wonderful present Too bad it appears so seldom Who knows? In time What the present bring?	“Ashes” A whisper was heard In a city of ashes Seldom we care where it came from Once we got curious We saw the unexpected