Wednesday, November 17, 2021

Sebastian's Luck (Part 4: Heavy)

 


After the lunch I simply went home as the remaining classes were suspended due to brownout.

It feels heavy, looking at a blank Microsoft word page at my desktop my mind adrift to places of unknown. I want to scream at the void but the thought of it screaming back terrifies me and I held on to that fear because in a way I feel grounded still. 

My chest was tightening as I my lips and hands shiver. Breaths are running short so I did what my therapist said. Grabbing the mouse, keyboard, table, pen and notebook I try to feel the ground beneath me along with the textures of the items I grasped. Whirring of the aircon, fans of the CPU and the crickets outside surrounded my hearing as I smell the gum and cologne near me. I took the gum and ate it. By the time the gum lost its flavor I felt my surroundings again and I breathe easier.

First thing I did was to look at an old photo of me and Sebastian back in seventh grade. What the hell happened between highschool and senior highschool? One day we were going out and the second I know, he disappears without a trace. I don’t mind him chasing girls but I hope he has the decency to remember me in the least.

Just before I shut down my computer, I saw a message. It was Sebastian.

“Hey I finally found your facebook! Kinda weird that we’re already friends, any way just dropping by to say thanks you for the lunch earlier. It’s been a while since I did that with someone as people are too busy nowadays. Also I think you and Hector are my lucky charm since I saw Marisol (a girl I like) earlier. See you around the campus!”

It made me smile, at least I can sleep easy tonight.

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