After the lunch I simply went home as the remaining
classes were suspended due to brownout.
It feels heavy, looking at a blank Microsoft word page
at my desktop my mind adrift to places of unknown. I want to scream at the void
but the thought of it screaming back terrifies me and I held on to that fear
because in a way I feel grounded still.
My chest was tightening as I my lips and hands shiver.
Breaths are running short so I did what my therapist said. Grabbing the mouse,
keyboard, table, pen and notebook I try to feel the ground beneath me along
with the textures of the items I grasped. Whirring of the aircon, fans of the
CPU and the crickets outside surrounded my hearing as I smell the gum and
cologne near me. I took the gum and ate it. By the time the gum lost its flavor
I felt my surroundings again and I breathe easier.
First thing I did was to look at an old photo of me
and Sebastian back in seventh grade. What the hell happened between highschool
and senior highschool? One day we were going out and the second I know, he
disappears without a trace. I don’t mind him chasing girls but I hope he has
the decency to remember me in the least.
Just before I shut down my computer, I saw a message.
It was Sebastian.
“Hey I finally found your facebook! Kinda weird that
we’re already friends, any way just dropping by to say thanks you for the lunch
earlier. It’s been a while since I did that with someone as people are too busy
nowadays. Also I think you and Hector are my lucky charm since I saw Marisol (a
girl I like) earlier. See you around the campus!”
It made me smile, at least I can sleep easy tonight.
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