Weird

It feels weird

Progress is

As you march toward

Something you always desire

And is reachable in grasp

It feels weird

It will be better

Things are working better

And are falling into place

Things to improve in time

Just focus first on the things

That you can control

Nightmares

It still still a shock

To the most of us

We are tearful

And weakened by the news

And I hate how the world

Will not stop for this

I do still hope things to work out

Because this nightmare were in

Is too much 

Nothing today

This has been becoming a chore lately. to be honest everything feels forced. For some reason I feel more empty than usual. Oh well I hope this feeling pass

be fine

I really have no words today

And this has been the trend lately

I hope everyone be fine someday

Boring is good

Somehow the sensation of normal

Bothers me more than it should

Have the world been too wild lately

That the calm disturbs me most?

I don't see any bad future

I just feel odd in the dull

Maybe boring is fine

Because not all can cope

With the excitement of life

Liberating

Only then you realize 

Why they don't listen to advice

Because like you

It has to hurt a million times

Before the feelings subside

It has to hurt like hell

For the truth be clear

Then as time wears you down

Things become clearer

Your feelings will never be

Reciprocated in any means

The energy given

Will never be equal

To the one you receive

It's an uphill losing battle

And letting go is tough

But it feels liberating

Move forward

How I regret not taking the chance before

And watch as I see you break

If I had been wiser 

And learned to decide for myself

Would things be different for us?

How I lament the past version of myself

And how he failed to take care of you 

Now in present time left to pick up the pieces

I hope we move forward from here

Oh

Oh how liberating

To lose unneccessary feelings

And break these imaginary shackles

Too happy to admit

It wasn't meant to last

Because if it did

It should have stayed

It shouldn't make up reasons

On why it should leave

Without a promise of return

You were meant to hold it

And let go in time

From the beginning

One of you knew 

That an end was imminent

You were too happy to admit it

Panic in peace

How I fear the normal days

Days where it calm before the storm

In happy dull moments where I reside

Is nothing to be happy for

Tomorrow is yet to come

And the workload will sure be a ton

How I lament this state of mind

Where I should be perfectly fine

Being hurt

The world is crappy and miserable

But that is never the excuse

To be a jerk and asshole

Becaus if you know the pain

And suffering that someone

Can go through

Why would you want

Other people to share the same fate

The cirsumstances of our past

May be crappy and harsh

And I'm sorry if you felt that way

And if they did you wrong

But you have to realize

That what happened then

Is an explanation to you

And not an excuse 

To be jerk to others

Being hurt is not an excuse

To hurt others

You are still accountable

For the things you do

Karma

Thoughtless tears and shallow cries

Energy wasted on weeping

Was too late when you should be helping

To disappoint a million people at once

Greed have overcome your body

And lies became your reality

Soon everything comes back in 180

I hope you will be ready

Always about them

The thing is

I am always writing for someone

Or writing about someone

Sometimes I forget why I do this

Are their stories mine to tell?
Do I really lack the enjoyment of life

That everything other people do

Is something I can only keep track of

And now this is about them

Ironic

Sa huli

Patak ng ulan sa gitna ng kalsada

Paliligo sa pinakamaagang oras sa umaga

Pagyuko sa jacket na luma

At pagsuob sa mga malalambot na unan

Mga bagay na nagtatago ng akung luha

Luha ng pangungulila

Luha ng minsang may naramdaman

At ang pagbalik ay hindi natikman

Sa paglimot ng mga alaala

Unti unting nababasa ang mga mata

Sa mga nangingilid at namumuo

Tila nawalanako ng pangkita

Pangkita sa kinabukasan naikaw ang kasama

Dahil isa kang malaking ilusyon

Isang malaking ilusyon

Na ako ang pipiliin mo sa huli

Act

To manifest the things we want

And have it at the palm of our hand

Is a dream we all want to have

But real life is not that easy

Nor that convenient

Same with time does not heal things

Doing things heal things

Manifesting does not secure the future

Acting upon things 

And actually doing them

Changes things 

Be scared

It's scary I know

Everyone keep saying

Not to be scared 

All are part of the process

And a lot of people 

Have already made past and won

I believe still that in the end

Victory is withinmy grasp

But I will remain scared

And embrace this feeling

Because it's part if the uncertain

I'm scared yes very much

But being scared

And doing it anyway

May yield better results

I don't have to be brave for tomorrow

I can be scared

Then I will act

Let's go

Another chapter about to unfold

Who knows what the future will hold

No one knew how fate will roll

We will simply fight and take the toll

This may be the end to a new beginning

I will admit, this is terrifying

And the sensation is tingling

Inside my mind is a storm brewing

But then again, can I control the future?

What good would thinking be?

Fate may be kind or cruel this time

But we are as good as the things we try

Words don't come out

Sometimes words just don't come out

They simply flutter in your mind

It will never come together

Nor be cohesive in that matter

No thoughts would be formed 

And everything is a mess

but write anyway

Who knows?

maybe someone will read it

And make sense of everything

Sana sa iba na lang

Sa paghimlay ko sa kama

Ako'y mulat hanggang madaling araw

Dahil bagamat ang aking katawan

Ay humihiling nang pahinga

Nananatiling sa aking isip

Ako'y isang alipin

Alipin ng mga alaala

At pagisiip ng ano kaya

Ano kaya ang nangyari

Kung sa ibang pagkakataon

Kita napansin

Sa ibang panahon kaya

Ako'y iyong pinili?

O kahit anuman ang ihip ng hangin

Ang resultang hindi mo ko mahal

Ay sadyang mananatili

Tila bumubulong pa saking isip

Ang mgasalitang hindi mo sakin pagpili

Multo ng kahapon na nanatili

Na ayaw patahimikin ang aking isip

Masakit at may kirot pa aking aaminin

Na kahit anong mangyari ako'y di mo pipiliin

Kung alam ko lang na nag resulta ay ganito

Sana sa ibang tao ko na lang naramdaman

Yung naramdaman ko para sayo

I want my love to be boring

Great escapes, daring escapades

Confessions in the rain

With fast paced airport chases

A hug above the city lights

Or a kiss underneath the fireworks sky

A proposal within the masses

Or an announcement in a crowd

A professing of love

Planned for months

All the extravagant things

People crave that they see in movies

Means nothing

If the love fades in weeks

That is why I want my love to be boring

Where we sit on the couch

Eating icecream watching Netflix

The subtle call signs 

And weekend naps

To desire the grandest love of all

Is not in my repertoire

I prefer my love to be quiet

Private but true

The drama is there 

And I admit it excites me

But we all could use someone

Who could be boring with us

Leave the drama for television

Will they let me?

If I was any different

Would people treat me the same?

A fragment of my former self

Started to grow its ugly head

Will my life be the same again?

Because I admit every is better

With little bumps in the road

But to how further an extent

Will my past let me grow?

No one saw how I break that shell

Of the past of mine I loathe

The struggle and changes 

I had to come over

Were all did by me  alone

But a lot of people seems to hate that

They didn't care about me

Until the moment they saw me happy

Then they decided

To do everything in their power

To make sure I wasn't

Who's broken now

It was doomed from the start

Not resulting to anything

Love was not meant to blossom

And nothing was coming to fruition

Time will only tell

But the signs should

Have said something

In the first place

You held on to a possibility

An abstract concept in the wind

And look who's broken now

'Words are only useful if you speak them.'

How many times hav ewe held back

Because we feared that we may be misunderstood

Imagine how many situation 

That could have not worsen

If only we spoke properly

There would be a lot of things

And parts in our body

That would notache this much

We let our silence speak 

Leaving us to this demise

In all the thoughts 

That haunted our mind

None came out as words

With words being only useful

Once you actually spoke them

Silence didn't really convey 

The message of us

Yan muna sa ngayon

Wala naman talaga silang pakialam sayo

Kung kung meron man kahit kakarampot

Hindi ka nila ganito itatrato

Hindi nila sasagarin pasensya mo

Sa hinahaba haba ng mga taon

Sabay sasabihing ikaw ang mali

Sa pagkakataon na ikaw ay sumabog

Tiniis ka, hindi minahal tandaan mo yan

Sabay sumbat ng mga bagay 

Na hindi mo naman hinangad

Sa isang libong beses na gagawa ka ng tama

Ay maglalaho kapag pumalya ka ng isa

Sa taong taon at buwan na iyong pagtitimpi

Sa panahon ika'y galit sila babaling

At dun nila iipunin ang pintas

Dahil matagal nilang inintay na ika'y madulas

Hinding hindi nila aaminin ang nagawa

Sa huli ikaw pa ang masa

Never understand

How false of a narrative it is 

When we hate the people

For how they react 

Rather than why they reacted

In the first place

You hated more

The way I expressed my grief

Rather than 

Why I'm grieving

And to that point

I know in a million years

You will never understand me

To catch you first

If I met you before

the craziness of this world

Shook your very core

Would you have loved me back?

If all of them didn't hurt you 

And left you broken to pieces

Would things would have worked out?
If we loved the broken people

Before they were broken by others

Would the course of this poem

Be different than it is now?

I guess we'll never know

And the what ifs are just

Fading thoughts

I kinda wish I met your first

So that I could show you

What love is like

Before you loathe the word

The opportunity to love you first

Is a luxury I could not enjoy

Nor a privilege not mine to begin with

But I would be lying

If I were to tell you

That I didn't wish 

That I was there to catch you first 

To future me

A future version of me

Have finally said "I made it"

And he means it

And him reaching it

Is sweeter than any almost

Sweeter than any fantasy 

That his mind could create

His dreams have finally 

Become a reality

But that version of me

Is only possible

If I don't give up

And I hope someday

Future me

Thank me someday

For not giving up

Dear certain someone,

It's still sad that there will

Never be something between us

The thought of us together

Still tickles my mind

And every imagination

Of a grandoise love story

Includes you as a leading lady

Every song reminds me of you

And every poem feels like

A gossip trying to reach me out

I could've tried harder

And asked for a chance

But who cares anyway

Because certain someone

It still stings, I'll admit

But not to the point

That I would risk my heart

To the person

Who broke it in the first place

I can't imagine

I can't imagine someone smiling

After they have seen my message

Or someone having their day complete

At the sigh of me

Telling their friends how much

They adore me to an extent

Such fantasy is something

I cannot procure in my mind

But sometimes reality 

Is much crazier than fantasy

Just because I can't imagine

Someone falling for me dearly

Doesn't mean I'll stop trying

In right timing

If it was meant to be

It would find its way

If its not

It will make excuses

Because you cannot force

What is neevr meant to be

It would be an endless chase

Of nothingness

But if it meant to be

Even in your worst times

It may appear

So take rest 

Take time to breathe

Because all will

Fall into place

In due time