Day 120: Setback

I taste what failure tastes like
and felt disappointment for the first time
I fell short on my ultimate goal
and it cuts all my confidence loose
the first time I felt defeat in this field
for long I have conquered everything
now before you I have nothing
I guess life just throws at you
in ways you will never expect
my arrogance has faded
as well as the roots have wilted
I feel like it's the end
with no face to show in the crowd

but who will say that this is the end
defeat is something essential
for someone to be humble
like the flower of bougainvillea
I have to cut my leaves
to make the flowers bloom
a minor setback cannot define me
for the road is too far ahead

Day 119: Braces

Uneasy feeling as I eat
Couldn't sit comfortably
I'm silent but it bothers me
inside it's eating me
one slight movement
it all end in discord
As I couldn't bear the pain
but no
it's not the pain I'm bothered
it's the mere presence of it
yes!
the fact that it lies there
bothers me a lot
it bothers me as I feel
it coming off
yet keeping intact
I feel it everytime I move
and it does not work well with me
I hate this feeling
just go away please

Day 118: Prose -> Poem

If love demands a sacrifice, 

then darling you have my time

As it is all I could ever offer you

as the man I am today

I would give you the love you deserve 

and give the best years of my life

The grains of sand in a hourglass 

will never be my measure 

of how long I will love you

better yet even a million clocks

and even death could not stop it

You will never comprehend 

how much these feelings are true 

and neither can I

All I know is that

you are the one that my heart beats 

and the one who gives sparks to my eyes

For the man I am today

All I can give you is time

I only ask for your patience

for the man I am tomorrow

Is the better fit to be your half

Day 117: You.

I saw you close and my heart skipped a beat
as I notice your flaws and imperfections
the way your eye disappear when your eyes smile
and the way your chin doubles at the same time

I love the way the sun kissed your skin
and how I noticed the crack on your eyeglass
the way you bun and do your hair
and how they fit to you perfectly

The way you laugh left me awe
especially when they feel so genuine
I guess every time your lips curve
the eyes close to feel

I guess distance does not matter
when looking into your smiles
because the curve on your lips
sets me straight everyday

You physical presence is enough
to leave me mesmerized and excited
what more if I ever get a chance
to search deep in your soul

For being curious in you
My fascination in your existence
and my out of nowhere smiles
I blame you for everything.

I blame you for my sleepless nights
and the unexpected daydreams
For my spilling ink
in every poems I write

I blame you for my colored world
when it was use to being gray
in filling my thoughts
with hope and faith in living

You did changes in my life
that I never wanted to have
and feel what I don't wanna
feel again once more

In the finals days in this dump
all my hopes are pinned on you
I'll admire from afar
as the year wilts and go

Day 116: Life (-)

Life is a meaningless endless pursuit
of glory, fame, wealth and power
of love, acceptance, hope and faith
as it will never have any deeper meaning
and all leads to death and uncertainty
never have I encountered someone flawless
and everyone had a myriad of scars
and like a pained chained beast in the forest
it will attack and maul you if possible
people will lie, cheat and backstab
and karma will do it's work
but you will feel as it is never enough
and you'll only wish you never went out
life has been hard all the time
and it will never get easier
as every challenge doesn't make me stronger
they just exhaust me
in the end I hope it will be painless
as the curtain falls
and the life that hurt us all
may end, once and for all

Day 115: Water

Water is a fascinating matter
as it is essential for life sustaining
It has most part of our body
and is present in every living thing
we can survive without food yet
die with no water
another feature of it
is that it cleans and cleanse
the most flexible thing in this world
yet has its dangers

Floods have killed and took some lives
as drowning to death is very painful
boiled water can burn your skin
and contaminated water can give you ailments
but in these features
I found out something

water alone is a fluid of life
but added with others
it becomes a monstrosity
so I don't know
I'm just thirsty

Day 114: Weak

Appearing weak in front of someone
you wish to please
is not a scenario one wishes to face
You want to show how can you protect her
but being a human, one can only hold for long
As we will face defeat and burden
and one can only stand in the heat for long
however, to feel so vulnerable
in front of someone you wish to be yours
is to feel guilt and awe at the same time

It's like you want to give the world to her
but you can't even get a grip of your own
It's funny how being a human will be a reason
for you not to win another human

I never wanted for her to see me like this
grudged and displeased and in face of terror
I could not face her and lie
that I would not fall once more
for being an only human
I can succumb and crumble

For this as wolf I can only howl
at the full moon professing how
I will forever love it
despite in a million lifetimes
I could never reach it

As crimson blood flows at my feet
I fall as I only weep
that these fallen demise of mine
has been a bullet that backfired

In the end I'm still too weak
incapable of handling one's self
So who am I to face you ow
If today I couldn't handle
the pain I have

But I promise this to you
There will come a day when I will
sew my skin and glue my broken bones
and I will fix myself for you
I wish to love you when I'm completely healed
and not in this moment
where I am shattered and skinned

Day 113: Little Soldier Boy

A little soldier boy sent to war
taken away from mommy's arms

The little soldier boy fought alone
for the first time without his mother

He send letters to his mother every single day
and always a month later he receives them back

The little boy killed his first man
and he was distraught, but no one to calm

the little boy with milk on his lips
has now blood on his hands

the little boy was distraught of war
and slowly he becomes a man

War stole the young boy's innocence
as he killed everyone on sight

After the war the little boy was no more
as he had war painted on his face

But going home was far too different
as he don't know who he was

Men and women who adored him
became terrified of his presence

The little boy who became a man
went home alone from war

As the six years war ended
every coffin he lift only gets heavier

after burying the souls of his comrades
he decided to go home

in his old home he heard a familiar voice
his mother ran with her age catching up

With her mother's tears his soul was cleansed
and felt the embrace he has long sought

The brave little man settled home
as war of yesterday passed

Day 112: Sight

There I saw a lovely gal 

dancing and popping in every corner of the stage

she sang and hummed a lovely tune

like a nightingale serenading the moon

I saw her then and stand and gaze

it's only her, everything went haze

she walks on fire, that's why she's ablaze

Didn't show a sign of faze

but the day was young 

and so was the years of ours

I thought it would be fair to her

to love her with my broken parts

So I stood and wait a thousand years

charging up, fighting these fears

and there I stood, prepared to race

to find out, someone took my place

here I put my silent grief

in a piece of paper or internet post

I weep as the chance I lost

was forever in the bliss of wind

Like the moon, without a sun I lost my light

Like a child, I seek comfort in a lullaby

So now I still adore from afar

as I lost the wish from my shooting star

Day 111: The Day I met you

The day I met you was never my best

As in that moment I wish my heart to rest

approaching you have been stop for my lest

love at first sight left me impressed

I saw you once, and left me in guess

of what might be if I wasn't such a mess

and since December, I'm left obssessed

of the thought of you and myself I test

if I will conquer the fear that left me in guess

that someday I will win you sweet, sweet yes

but storms do happen, and all I invest

someone had your heart, which I detest

hating my self for the feelings I fail to manifest

as the gift of courage is something that I am not blessed

I feel the pain as I grasp my chest

I never want you to see me as a pest

That's why I put my feelings into rest

Day 110: Smile :)

Let's define a smile
An upward curve
The only curve
That set things straight
It's the feature of a human
Which never cease to amaze
Yes, it can be faked
And it can hide a million tears
But a genuine one
Can lift up someone's world
Smiles of men have ceased wars
And smiles of women wooed men
A smile can start a friendship
And a smile can be where things end

Now let's talk about your smile
Genuine and real
As if God sculpted it himself
An authentic piece of art
Perfect and imperfect at the same time
Maybe an imitation of Aphrodite
Or maybe a duplicate of one
But I can agree
It's the best one I see

Your smile lift up my darkest days
And is the moon of my darkest nights
It gave birth to the tears I never had
And it was contagious
So I made mine
Your smile lights me up
As the wrong turns to right

Maybe that smile
Will forever be there
And I will adore it for a lifetime
I just wish for one moment
Maybe a blink of this life
That I will see that smile
And learn that the reason was me

In the end I wish that smile
Forever flourish
For now you are the hope
I badly needed
And I will be the admirer
You never knew

Day 109: In the eyes of a child

In the eyes of a child

love is a candy in which we really want

but chose to share it anyway

In the eyes of a child

love is God's love

the one not sensed but only felt

In the eyes of a child

love is when grandma has arthritis

and grandpa paint her toenails 

even though he has arthritis

In the eyes of a child

love is when someone says your name, it's different

and you know your name is safe in that mouth

In the eyes of a child

love is when your dogs licks and cuddle you

despite leaving him alone for the whole day

In the eyes of a child

love is when mommy sees daddy in the toilet

and doesn't think it's gross

In the eyes of a child

love is when you tell someone you like his shirt

and he wears it everyday

In the eyes of a child

love is an old woman and old man

who still love one another

despite knowing one another well

In the eyes of a child

love is what makes you smile

when you are tired

In the eyes of a child

love is mommy gives daddy

the best piece of chicken

funny how the eyes of every child is pure and innocent

and that love is a thing that still worth it

no matter how shallow the definition or how deep it goes

we can all agree that love is unconditional

Unique and surprising but still exciting

no matter how one perceives it

I guess in the end

we can all trust a child to love 

how they see it fits

Day 108: Colors

In this hell I see
I find my solitude
I call this home sweet home

In this dark imagination
I have my faith
even with an eternally closed door

Never been here before but I feel at home
this dark and warm oasis
where people eat one another, is comfort

Cause every day I walk this town
the darkest colors fill this dump
A speck of blue is kept me astray

I try to paint the world of grey
spit the orange purple green
but all they did is spill red blood

I just hope this black and white area
gets painted by a stroke of white
as we repaint everything and start over again

Day 107: Worth it

You're worth than my sleepless nights

more than all these petty fights

worth than my times of distress

So, forever I seek you to impress

Because I want you

that is a secret I still hide

yeah, I want you

So I won't say my hands are tied

who cares about the cards

and if fate is against my favor

but you've been a resident in my heart

so who will say, you're not for me 

It's not easy

just to run away from you

I don't mind the mountains

or the oceans I swim

Still wondering how this would work on sided

because life had work just me and me 

I just hope one day I don't wake up

thinking it was hopeless in the end

However the odds are against me

everything is against us

maybe I was just meant to find you

who knows where we end

But for the moment I can tell you 

that truly you are worth it

worth to wait for a thousand years

worth to the wait to be finally noticed

Day 106: Pain

My head is ringing
and it feels like bursting
pain is never receding
and I feel like bleeding
maybe it is the taking
of the exam in the morning
in consequence, I am leaving
with a pain persisting
the heat has started crawling
in my head then start spreading
the pain that is excruciating
my eyes feel like gouging
as the screen starts blinking
with the pain inside persisting
I entertain the thought of disappearing
Inside my head I am screaming
where I lie and is pleading
for the pain to stop ringing
and I have my peace while sleeping

Day 105: Present Tense

Sometimes I wish
we are more than this
empty vessels looking for another
students desperately wanting summer

When waiting becomes a habit
it distracts you from the joys of present
going to school daily waiting for Saturday
and studying just to graduate

playing just to finish
and running just to stop
removes the joys of life
it is no other less than
living just to die

but to fall in love with you
is my own personal tragedy
I hope and pray and simply wait
wishing in 11:11 and
throwing quarters at wells

I hope that you are more than
my wishful thinking
and a blessing smoke
I hope at the end of the line
someone smiling will come
and awaits for an embrace

I hope your smiles are genuine
and so are your laughs
I hope my heart can get to you
as you will give me yours

But who am I kidding?
at this present tense I do none
I guess I can only enjoy the present
and hope the future
will be kind to me

Anxiously waiting
for your acceptance
or a great rejection
who knows?

Day 104: It's Not Easy To

It's not easy to smile and be nice

when you are often called to sacrifice

It's not easy to pick yourself and shake off the dust
when you feel broken inside with no one to trust

It's not easy to give in your all
when the worst is about to fall

It's not easy to appear tough
when you know you had enough

It's not easy to shout your battlecry
when you wish to just lie down and cry

It's not easy to frequently give
when you have nothing to show, for the life you lived

It's not easy to care a little bit too much
when you are aware you destroy everything you touch

It's not easy to fight back and resist
when the voice inside you have something to insist

It's not easy to climb the extra mile
when you cannot start a step and can only sigh

It's not easy to do the impossible
when you know what comes is horrible

It's not easy to reach you peak
when you are feeling too weak

It's not easy to put others first

when you are feeling at your worst

Day 103: Si Aldo

Kalbo si aldo, oo si aldo kalbo
katawa tawang kinitil ng barbero
ang kariktan ni karl christian aldovino
kaya ka awa awang aldo
ay kinalbo at kinulam
kumbaga ang makata ay
kinawawa at kinastigo

kinwestyon ni aldo ang kanyang kalugaringon
kung siya ba ay kinakapitan ng katinuan
kung may kilos na karawaton
ito ay tanggapinang kanyang kalagayan
kinulob ng kahihiyan at karawdan si karl
sa kahuman ng kwento ni karl
kaniyang kinilatis ang kokote niya
sa kaba ng kasing-kasing
siya ay kinilabutan
kamasakit ang kinalagyan ng buhok ni aldo
sa kahagkot na kamay ng kumikitang barbero

Kalbo si aldo, sadyang si aldo ay kalbo
kaagad siyang kumilos ng kamamingaw
at kumikita upang bumili ng piluka

Day 102: Had Hoped

You are my almost

my special what if,

the chance I didn't take

and the hope I didn't pursue

and the dream I couldn't take

Did you see how I loved her true?

and how it could have been you

I guess you just didn't like me

even though the one who can help you is me.

I had hoped to hold your hand

while the other conquers the world

I had hoped to see your smile

and that smile will glow upon me

I had hoped to run all day

and go home in your embrace

I had hoped to laugh and make you cry

I had hoped so many things

with you by my side

but I guess fate is never kind

Now please excuse me

I have to take a shower

So I never know whether

I'm crying or not

Day 101: Moving on

Moving on is a process
not the one that is kind
it is when you pick up your broken pieces
and look back, only to sigh

you see, it is more than about losing that person
you once thought, will be your groom or bride
someone to start a family with, and loves you for a reason
someone who at deathbed, will be at your bedside
a person you invested your emotion and feelings in
feelings and investments you cannot redeem

Moving on is letting go of something so precious
which will leave you very anxious
every time someone will tell you they love you
because one moment in life someone told that; and left you

It is a process for some
it is faking joy until reality come
it's taking the poison slowly and succumb
to the pain until you're completely numb

Moving on is never an easy task
being left by someone's whose presence is you only ask
the painful thing about losing this endearment
is knowing the next day, you have your replacement

But that is life, you can't complain
the emotions contained, let them drain
Despite the love you will disdain
pick yourself up and take the courage to love again

Day 100: Honest Lines

Tonight I write the honest lines

that cannot seem to be confined

within this crazy mind of mine

I speak the truth of today

as my voice shakes and sway

in the hundredth I feel astray

I ask God today if I can fix you

and his answer was a wind that blew

and in my mind an idea grew

Why would I fix, something's not broken

maybe some scars are left unspoken

even then, she doesn't need an owen

Her mind is tangled and boggled

and everything to her seems to be a bother

if only her problems are encircled

To see her hurting is remorseful

yet trying to help may seem forceful

How can something be hard in something simple

You see these honest lines I wrote

are those I haven't took a note

Still be careful, for we don't want to sink the boat

God made her the perfect mess

that I don't know If I can caress

properly so it would be less

Nonetheless, She's overall she's great

just hope that the love she has won't turn to hate

We don't know what will happen if they conflate

I know she can be tough and hard to be dealt

as she has been hardened by the smelt 

of time, but in the right hand, she'll melt

So for the honest lines

statements I forced to rhyme

someone please love her properly, in perfect time

Day 99: St. Marian Orchard (Travelogue)

St. Marian Orchard is located at Levister Highway, Balete Batangas. To be honest it is my first time there and I was left in awe the moment I laid my eyes upon it. Being a Catholic, I have devoted myself to the religion and this orchard proved to be a feast for my eyes. The scenery is perfect and the ambiance is just refreshing, Let the cold breeze of air embrace you as you scale the place corner to corner. The shot above is my cousin taking a picture of the giant rosary at the middle of the saint's portrait garden. It is one of the elevated parts of the orchard.

This statue is seen at the center of the rose garden pathway with the saints statues at side. It feels like a powerful image as you walk the sweet aroma of the roses while constantly avoiding the thorns of it, as the saints line up beside you and there is someone at the end waiting for your embrace. I really love this shot and if you even go to the actual place, you'll know what I'm talking about. Although, to be honest, I was too captivated to notice of that is Mary Magdalene or Mary the mother of Jesus.

These are the chime bells donated by a foundation or school during September of  2016. It is really tall and we have no idea if it produces any sounds or how it is triggered. Nonetheless, it sticks out like a sore thumb but in nice way.

This pathway connect the upper part of the orchard and the lower ones. This leads to the entrance at the same time to the fourteen stations of the cross.  It gives off that Japanese culture vibe but trust me when I say it will send shivers down your spine once you go through here. especially, when we came it was drizzling so we felt the authenticity of the roof flowers. The downside is that it is too steep and prepare your cardio.

Now, I remember! the garden with the porcelain portraits and giant rosary is called the Rosarium. It is located at a very high place and the view from there is a pretty sight. 

This is the view form the Rosarium, It may not look much from this photo but if you are ad avid lover of nature you will surely enjoy this great scenery of trees and let the breeze embrace you once more, although, if you are afraid of heights, just get a companion or something. 

The photos above are the life size statues depicting the fourteen stations of the cross as mentioned earlier. it is located at the lower part and the path is not nice. It is very steep so just be careful. Unfortunately, taking a picture with is it illegal so I can only take a picture of it alone. The statues are such a pleasant design and detailed by every bit that you will for get the pain of your legs and thighs the moment you gaze upon it. 

I have nothing more to say here besides that a lot of people take shelter here when it rains. However, the portrayal of Jesus talking to a child and guiding them, speaks to all of us. 

When I was young there are a lot of variations of this image, From wood to glass. But I must say this is far my favorite. It is a perfect mosaic of tiles and it signifies that you are near to the gift shop. Feel free to buy but I must warn you about the cost of them.

See? the picture is pretty big, considering my 5'6 sister is for scale.

This statue is located near the church and depicts Christ as a king.  It is one of my favorite in the orchard since it has bright and eye-catching colors and gave Jesus the respect he deserved.

There is more to see in the orchard and what I unfold is only a quarter of its beauty. I could give you all but hey, where's the fun in that. 

In conclusion, the St Marian Orchard is a great place to visit especially for Catholics. Non- Catholics can enjoy too, if they wish to learn the culture of ours. Just prepare a 50 peso for the entrance fee and you're good to go. 

P.s.

Food and drinks are not allowed inside so you have to buy in their snack bar.

Day 98: Thou shall read these books

Until I read ALL my books
Here is where I stand
I shall borrow no more from another
but to purchase another
is something I cannot promise
I will read my books
without the books I have,
I cannot all my life a living
I will never pursue another hobby
until these books are finished
I shall take no wife
nor father any children
earn no crowns
and claim no glory
I will be the reader of the night
I will disregard everything I know
and responsibilities I should do
to read my books
however, not those needed to be passed
because the school system is really confusing
still, I will sacrifice everything I have
just to read this books
for time and life is too precious
to not to be offered to theses books
I shall hallucinate in these dead trees
while reading the spilled blood
I swore to read and never procastinate
unless there is a school work needed to be done
because if there is one thing that will hinder you
from reading these novels, it's school

Day 97: Why I write

I wrote because I feel in love with words
I am truly, madly, deeply in love with them
they screamed the words I couldn't speak
and whispered those I wish to keep
they are the weird symbols that keeps me living
with ink as their blood and dried trees as bodies
after I fell in love with words,
they start forming phrases and sentences
then chunks of paragraphs and poems
they start doing those incredible things

but who am I kidding?
falling in love with them has a bigger reason
a reason which still haunts me
and still inspires me up to this day
I loved them because someone left
without saying one
and up to this day
with the thousands word I wrote
I still get no single word
why that someone left

Day 96: That's the thing

That's the thing
when we know someone who is nice
or intelligent or even a great human being
in overall appearance and presence
we turn a blind eye
we never think or even thought
for a moment
that the person is capable of doing
something so horrible
we wish to live in a lie
rather than exploring the truth
maybe a nice porcelain glass will do
but if it has gravel and rocks
what's the value of it?

We let every monster
enter this world and roam freely
just because they did something good one
well news flash!
life doesn't have to work that way
mistakes not in purpose are forgiven
but come on guys!
when he is a genocide causing
mas murdering monster
it doesn't matter how great that person is before
we focus on the now

we let monsters go by laughing
and mocking girls sexuality
it's like we want a generation where
a boy's reputation is better than
the lives of girls he ruined

why is a women with multiple men
is a whore, slut and unfit to be loved
but when a guy has multiple women
he's basically God

No one is nothing until someone
comes along and gives that person a purpose
we often link ourselves to people
\or items that gives up hope and
in the end get manipulated by it
let us stop believing that
we are all someone great even when
someone comes or don't

we praise horrible people
yet degrade ourselves for being nice
that's the thing.

Day 95: Fo(u)rever

Late June of twenty twelve
I saw you in the library between the shelves
walking down the dusty road
never knew you, I made move
now we're here
the open field that's framed with trees
we sat by the bench and feel the breeze
like strangers doesn't usually does
telling people we both hate
selfish jerks who cares only for their sake
then we got close
then we saw the light together
became friends so fast, just a render
in a few months I felt forever
feels like forever is with you everyday
like life could go on this way

we always talk for hours everyday
on what to do after school
like study psychology or write a play
go to Korea or Europe, whatever's cool
everything is under the sun
with you? everything's fun
feels like we're always on the run
and in worst days we don't stun

and everything's good
until we changed schools...

there we went high and might
wondered what the world have might
treat us if we got back
to the roots we tracked
the we felt our cord has been snapped
the color we had has been blacked
both on the starting ground
looking at one another, feeling numb

well for that I say...

We never meant to make such a mess
we never thought something so abrupt
would fruit so much
yet made us feel corrupt
until now I still search for the right words to say
or even something to say
the phrases, one liners and sentences
we used to know and love, left us restless
our words failed us
and left us speechless

Day 94 : Tragedies in love

a tragedy it is to fall in love
to someone whose heart is already taken
to see your world falling apart
yet it falling into place in another's hands
the painful fact that you will have
is that you always had the upper hand
you knew her before and is closer to her
yet you fell short and see it go away
funny it is when you can only laugh
and being a friend starts to hurt
but a tragedy before is painful than it sounds

a tragedy in love
is falling to someone who will never be yours
as you are too scared to make a move or even act
as you see her you become petrified
all smiles no frown is what you get
yet all frown and no smile is what you are
you always had that chance
but you always held yourself back
thinking that all the former rejections
will come crashing back to you
and that fear will always linger
as you cannot step forward
and drown in your thoughts
while she sleeps soundly

a tragedy in love
is to fall in love again
to a person you swore to never fall in love again
and you did, you gullible dumbass
as she is already happy, with the life she had
knowing you left her or she left you along the way
you want to enter her life once more
yet you also wish that happiness bestow upon her
so you just gaze away
and succumb to the old memories
you accept the fact that she is better off without you
and you live with that

Day 94: Little Victories

I feel like life is not made
of the huge steps
and long term goals along the way
they all can get really frustrating
which you may consider quitting
but if we count the little victories along the way
maybe life would be different

it's not always about passing the semester
or the quiz or the activity or even the seatwork
it's about getting your body to get off that bed
every single damn day of your student life
then call it a victory once you got the strength
to even stand the damn up
not every one wins that
not everyone wakes up
try to enjoy that micro victory

then after that do things step by step
you passed the quiz? go on take an ice cream
who cares? not everyone passes the quiz
nor everyone goes to class
in the end of the day count those little victories
as if you achieved something great
not all things have to come at once anyway

never belittle someone for being happy
over something so shallow or small to you
because you never know how that means to them
it doesn't mean your smarter, it means that the person
before you is dumb
we all have our strengths and weaknesses
somedays we can lift a mountain
and days we barely stand

seize those little victories along the way
you crush noticed you? you picked up a peso?
you had 2 candies in one package?
you got praised by your teacher?
celebrate them
you never know where they will bring you

Day 93: Waiting

Waiting might be the worlds hardest
what, when, why and is it worth it?
will be wondering in you wander mind
as whole white soul will
lose it's way
waiting is a work where you will
wreck what is you work for once

waiting will wilt when what you want
will be wasted as waving clock purely hasted
wondering where you wonder in the wind wake
as time woes and wither
wishing will widen your woe
as you weigh the wish if it is worth it
withdraw at once or witness your worst
wishing wishful thinking worsened wound
as we will come to our will
and will never wake
whatever will be the outcome
you will wonder what will be if you waited

wash your woes as you grow weary
wrap the wound your "world" inflict
wise we see who will retreat
who with the windowsill
will wait as the wallflower wilts

Day 92: M.U.

Scars have screamed the pain of past
as tattoos of ours are never calm
good thing no mark is left of a broken trust
if then my body is a scar realm
you are a fighter and a lover
that is why you deserve better

you deserve better than what if's and maybes
better than flowers and candies
you are beautiful no matter what you perceive
flowers and Christmas light looks nothing alike
and the praise they receive
is that they are both beautiful

you deserve someone who sees
the world in your eyes
someone who see the future and disregard the past
not someone who is too invested in the present
not someone who just need a companion
someone afraid of relation
you deserve better than those who treat you like a bank
because banks have all of your money
yet they put string on their pen

you deserve someone who is invested
in you, emotionally and eternally interested
someone who wish to marry you
and not just make you a part
of a girl collection
never settle for less
nor someone unrest

Day 91: Penmanship

My penmanship, bow

mine is a piece that cannot be understood

as my mind and hand would

never complement one another

though I can compare it as out of the printer

but the printer had ink smudge and paper jam

Seeing how horrible my writing

I am preferably typing

but in the end it's not about those who understand

it's those who try to understand

A penmanship is a mirror

to one's soul and mind

every bit can be a slight error

as one is collected and one is wild

my writing's damaged

far too damaged

and it's just beyond repair

I'll write around here 

and your eyes bleed as you stare

can't make it better

you just want the paper tear

stand right back now

as I don't know how this will do

I write like a six year old

never have fixed that mold

but some say it's a sign you're wise

is it special? is it different?

it's not it just makes me cry

But I know it can be beautiful

I train and train for a better way

If I fixed some things

I fix this thing

and it can be beautiful...

Just not today.