Day 335 of 366:

Well what do you know

I survived 

Day 334 of 366: Struggle

I can't remember when I was at peace

When I am calm

This constant rushing waves

Has been here since

And I cannot recall

When calm was the norm

And here I am now

Struggling to my core 

Day 333 of 366: Alone

I hope it heals

And all pain disappear

The anxiety of it all

And the things that bothered me

Goes away in a snap

Because the voices are still loud

I feel the walls closing in

And I know it'll be tough

But I'll manage

Because I'll do it alone 

As I always do 

Day 332 of 366: Done

At this point I'm tired

Beyond any point of consolation

The faux and facades

Doesn't work on me now

And I've reached my breaking point

I'm just done 

Day 331 of 366: Forget

I wish I could simply forget 

The things in the past 

The wrong words spoken

The hurt unintended 

But a part of me still suffers

Aa they went unresolved 

For forgiveness was forcibly took

And was not earned

I am expected

To simply forget all of it 

Not knowing how much

Hurt it caused me

So I'll move forward not speaking 

As all my communication is mocked

And soon after all of that

I'll be just another story you tell

Day 330 of 366: Resentment

I feel it growing more

As the things that happened before

Still aches for sure 

As I bleed previous wounds

I cannot simply forget

What caused them too

Needs were never met

Only met by dissident 

All the lies and deceit

Still frustrates me

Now I walk alone

With a heavy heart

Still hoping that 

Things will be better

Day 329 of 366: Little more

A little more

Just a little more

And I'll finally get that coveted prize

Just a little more

Day 328 of 366: Time

It was the best day ever

Because I spent it with you

Day 327 of 366: A day at a time

You're going to be in a better place

It'll be okay

The pain doesn't last as long

As much as you think

It will all make sense

You just need

To live a day at a time

Day 326 of 366: All about Jairah

I am enthralled how you smile

And how everything you do seems wonderful 

I love how you learn things

And the excitement you bring 

Discussing those things

It was all grey before you

And suddenly all the love songs

Were making sense again 

I wish you best on your 26th

And I hope to be with you

In every birthdays to come

Day 325 of 366: Closing in

Progress have been made 

And is moving forward

Things that were stagnant 

Finally has traction

And everything that never made sense

Is now making one

As steps toward reality is inching closer

I just need to work on

Making it work

And finally my coveted prize 

Will be finally at hand

Day 324 of 366: The right thing

I'm not expecting some sort of reward

Maybe a little compensation 

Or better yet just leave me alone

I'm frustrated because of all my trying 

I managed to fail over and over again 

I failed the connections I sought

And lost in every way possible

I've been dragged to the mud

A million times before

And when I got angry

Vented on other people

And I felt guilty about it

Sins of my past still haunt me

I wish I was a better man

Even though I was just a kid

So I guess karma plays here

But even with the disappointment 

Of losing my friends

Not giving me a chance to explain

Or even if I fail a million times

To make the connections I want

I will keep doing the right thing

Day 323 of 366: Due

Another slog of week coming

Just barely pushing through 

In light of what is coming 

I will simply do my due

Day 322 of 366: Inching

Inching closer to my goal

Closing on my desire

I'll finally get my prize

As the tears and blood

Poured into everything 

Is now at reach 

Day 321 of 366: Accomplished

Been feeling down lately

The weight is crushing down

Now that I'm better

I attribute it to a gift 

Given by someone I love 

I finished a video game

After a while now

And now the sense of accomplishment

Is all the world to me

Little wins that I have 

But is a joy to celebrate 

Now slowly I will

Earn my biggest prize

Day 320 of 366: Happy

Slowly I walk towards

The thing I always want

Acclimating to it

Is an anticipation too much to bear

But I am here now

And I will get it soon 

And I cannot explain 

How happy I am right now

Day 319 of 366: Kamit

Isang araw muli ang aking igagapang

Isang araw na ilalaan

Sa mga tungkuling nakatakda

Na sana ay matapos ko nang matiwasay

Kakayanin ang dadaan

At iraraos ang nakalaan

Ngayon ay muling lalaban

Hanggang ang inaasam asam

Ay aking makakamtan

Day 318 of 366: Isang Panaginip

Hanggang ngayon may pagluluksa

Pa rin akong nadarama

Ang sakit sa loob ay tila

Hindi nag hihilom pa

Ilang taon na rin nakalipas

Dumaan na ang maraming bukas

Ngunit nananatili ang bakas

Ng iniwan na alaala

Hindi ko na mga maalala

Ang itong tinig

At kahit anong pilit

Hindi ko na ito mawari

Ngunit isang panaginip 

Sakin ay sumilip

At bigla kang nagpakita

Na tila ika'y buhay pa

Nakangiti ka sa akin

At agad mong sinabi 

Na nagagalak ka

Sa naabot kong mga tagumpay

Ako'y yumakap nang mahigpit

At sa akin bumalik 

Ang pakiramdam ng iyong yakap

Noong ika'y nabubuhay pa

At agad akong nagising

Yakap ang unan

Umiiyak, pabalik sa reyalidad

Day 317 of 366: System

When the system is against you

Working towards your demise

Not even you hardest push 

Or your smartest move

Can nudge what is affixed

And your hardwork means nothing

As you see those who do less

Thrive more than you do

Frustrating it is

Day 316 of 366: In pain

I wish to live comfortably 

Where I wasn't applauded by resiliency

Rather there is a proper system

In which I can thrive 

Without sacrificing myself 

Where I can rest comfortably 

When I feel myself declining 

Now I am in extreme pain

But I have to power through 

As all the days I would

Day 315 of 366: Slowly

Inching closer to my goal

My long wait will bear

Slowly walking towards it

My excitement is incalculable 

Day 314 of 366: None

My body is heavy 

Everything I used to love

Becomes mundane

I feel lost

I feel...

Nothing

Day 313 of 366: Swept

Live the way you want to

And do what ever you want

Just make it within the bounds

That you will not hurt anyone

Once you made sure of it 

You can live freely 

Then whatever they will say

Will be swept with the wind

Day 312 of 366: Slowly

Barely moving on

Carrying forward as I can

Exhausted to bits 

But trying as much

Rewards will be due 

I just need patience more

It will get easier from here 

I just need a little more

Day 311 of 366: Bottleneck

It shouldn't be this hard

It shouldn't be this inconvenient 

The price of progress 

Shouldn't be ours to pay 

There shouldn't be this much

Struggle to commute everyday 

It's draining to an extent

I cant believe people have to do this

For every single day

I'm sick of it

Day 310 of 366: Sprint

It'll be tougher from here on out

I don't know how I'll pull through 

But I know I'll manage 

Like many times before

And survive once more

When I think I wouldn't 

Prayers up

Feet on the ground 

Eyes forward

Full sprint ahead

Day 309 of 366: Persistence

I hope it works well

And things go for the better

I hope at the end of the tunnel

There is a light waiting 

I hope the suffering and all

Becomes all too worth it

Because as it stands

My body can do so little 

Exhausted beyond means

Lost again all reason 

My mind and body

Is pushing the limits 

So now I pray 

Things work for the better

Day 308 of 366: Double Standard

When people see

A middle class enjoying

The fruits of their labor

They riot as if

The middle class

Sole purpose is to survive

But when those in power 

With millions

Even billions at their disposal

They applaud

As if those didn't come

From the backs

Of the working class

Because when the powerful

Earns something

Through constant exploitation 

Of the working class

People cheer

But god forbid

A working class

Getting something for themselves 

Day 307 of 366: More

It was fun

I got tired 

But the good kind

To more of these

Day 306 of 366: Rest

I'm tired 

It's all souls day anyway

Give it a rest