60 of 366: He is still missed

I long the voice of one who's gone

as the loud echoes that irritated me then

has been the one I'm longing for 

months passed and still the same

the pain inside still throbs heavily

as I stare at you empty chair

I noticed how neat the surroundings are

far from the mess you always make

far from the state when you were there

a cleaner house since he is gone

now we long the mess he makes

how pitiful to live a life

where we have to live that this is it

we will grow without him

and walk the aisle, none of his presence

he will never hear my children cry

or see me walk the stage with diploma

he will miss lots of parties

and miss a lot kids

he will never hear our problems

or pat us on the back when we needed

a lot of meals are now for four

as the fifth decided to go

how the time we had for being 

are the ones I took then granted

59 of 366: I need sleep.

Sight is dimming, blood is boiling

hands are tingling, and teeth are grinning

mind goes blank and closes down

and every forced smile goes to frown

body heat rising while surrounding is silencing

breathes are getting heavy, each one getting worse

seeking comfort in music of joy

but every stop is rage rushing in

better left now alone

so the damage won't pass to someone else

but then we all have breaking point

I'm closing in, to mine

but maybe it's just I'm too tired

or the lack of sleep is getting me

but even rest in nowhere found

just hoping that everything 

in the end will be fine

but for now succumb to the feeling

and embrace what's in front of you

as after all these bloody mess

you can get a good night rest

58 of 366: Slow dance

asked the dance, reached out my hand

you took it quickly as you stand

gazing upon your eyes tonight

I am in awe of your beauty in this light

 then our hand clasp gently 

as the my other one is on your hips

you other hand on my shoulder

then be begin to sway carefully

the dance was slow, but my heart is fast

beating through my heavy tux

and then it calmed and I can't believe

our feet moved in perfect sync

the music changes and the light goes dimmer

the night grew colder, but my feelings warmer

I wanted to feel it all and close my eyes

but I could not look away at yours, then you smile

then in a flash the music stopped

the light grew brighter, and you loose your hand

you said thank you, then you go

as I said the same, sad and awe

I guess that moment could not be eternity

just the time given freely

and as the tux felt so warm

I could only think of how I held your hand

57 of 366: Where you look

the feel of isolation is sometimes false

as you just fail to see whose side you're on

a someone out there truly wants you

and will pick you first regardless

and it's not always lovers 

as a friend can make you feel special

the comfort you seek on other people

has been in them all along

I guess we were never in the wrong place

in the wrong time in this universe

because where we are is at it is

it's just a matter of where you look

56 of 366: Night

The night sky embraces and takes over the day
as the sun will rest, giving moon its way
then the stars will shine as the cloud cover some
darkness will take over, leaving most task cumbersome
the night took the light but it can give it back
as the night takes and decides what should be act
as many things occur during the night
getting used to the darkness, clamping most of the light
then silence hushes throughout the land
where faintest noise can be heard, even a moving sand
this goes on for a lot of hours
but the sun will rise and the night is no more

55 of 366: Different outcome

Crossed my mind once and never left
feelings are the same when first felt
every beats feels like a pound
seeing her, still makes my head round
I guess the feelings inside never truly left
they just learned to be tamed
but something wild is never long caged
as it breaks free, longing the dame
same feelings, same fear
different timing, same dear
a sane man would never do this much
where stuck in the same place
awaiting for a different outcome

54 of 366: Envious

Envious of the flowers
as she blooms despite her petals plucked
as the moon felt the same
as she did not need
someone else to have her shine
she stood the brightest
despite the stars shining in cluster
how the heavens and creatures
envied her so much for
everything she never knew
the worth she failed to see in herself
was envied by most without her knowing it

53 of 366: Bleeding

Wounds heal longer than we thought

far from the reconciliation we sought

as the scars find a way to reopen

something bursts out that should be hidden

as those that long ago should have been healed

is now starting to bleed

the thing of now when you feel that pain

is never do the same thing again

and never ever even consider

that you should bleed on others

52 of 366: When she smiles

When she smiles at me I feel the warmth

of my heart, beating fast

it fails to contain the excitement

as if the smile was something I did

or something I said was pleasant

I guess putting a smile on her face

is something I could do

for the rest of my life

as I could never get tired of it

and it feels like the first time

everytime I see it

as the moon shines bright

through millenia with people still admiring it

that's how her smile works

which is beautiful no matter

how many times you see it

51 of 366: Porcelain

as moonlight embraces her skin
the shine of the stars above
could not compare
they envied how she shone
so the stars in times of envy
hid among the dark clouds in the sky
leaving only the moonlight
light and gaze upon her wonder
and as she was there silently
you can't help but notice
the streaks of her hair
how she made every shade of black
the most colorful color there is
and then the moon will soon hide
but she still shines bright
with her porcelain skin and pearl white smile
a new day arise
then a new light will embrace
but not outshining her grace

50 of 366: We all want love

We all want love, most spend their lives
chasing someone or somebody as partner
they sought the love all have stories about
then those idiots break their hearts in the process
they chase and chase then get too tired
then try to wait then no one came
but maybe the thing is we expect too much
from the people we want to love
we confine them in our imagination
to the extent that they disappoint us
when the love fatigue comes

Because we want someone who is sweet
someone who is tough but not intimidating
who can hold on his or her own
but still needs you in the time being
someone who gets along with your peers
and will not be attracted to them
someone who is not crazy about looks
but still looks insanely hot all the time
this someone exists only in your mind
maybe in kdrama, anime or tv shows
but someone this perfect will never exist


we all want love, specially on the days
you feel the worst of yourself
when all you see are couples kissing
and happy people, with their hearts jumping
I guess we all suck and love
can make us suck less
it may be one of the best things
to have in life
but there are better things
that is worth of your pursuit

49 of 366: Isolation

Solitude is what I find comfort of

especially when people bother me

but I never thought true solitude 

would bother me this much

I craved isolation since then

as presence of most are often harsh

true friends for me is a gem

while a person who respects me

is someone who comes seldom

leaning on my family is what I do

as they always had my back

but now in pursuit of different interests

I was often left home alone

now the isolation I embraced

is now the one I hate the most

a company is not so bad

as long as the intentions are good to great

48 of 366: Beat

It's a beat up when you lost ideas
as if all the words flew away
ideas that came never came to fruition
and words to describe things
never crosses one another
as if the words are jumbled in your brain
and the proses and poems won't meet
the block of mind is hard to fight
especially when it floods unnecessary thoughts back
a mind filled with random nonsense
and the ideas never come together
I guess all writers comes to that
it's just the way one handle it

47 of 366: Old words

When things around you are changing fast
you take care not to act too crass
as old situations in this context
are now faced with new experience
but sometimes in those scenarios you regress
as if the new knowledges are repressed
so you end up with the same old words
trapped as a child in that same old world
because nothing new comes out of your mouth
and you fear that all are going south
so you hope that there is good coming
where old words put in new patterns will form something

46 of 366: What beauty looks like

I saw a star in middle of a dark sky

and the moon light barely grazing

when the sun refused to shine

and the clouds won't go apart

a dark stormy night showed light in flashes

and a cold night was embraced by the night sky

I saw the beauty amidst the send of being lost

so believe me when I say I see beauty in you most

I saw you laugh so hard you could barely breathe

and light a smile on a thing you like

I saw you mad at things you hate

and even half asleep you barely walked

I saw you drunk and vomit things

and saw lose all joy altogether

I saw you in days you were weakest

and days where you look the best

So when people ask me do I know what beauty looks like

I know, cause I saw it from every side

45 of 366: Heart and mind

The one I long is in front of me

as my heart beats rapidly

but the heart's desire was stopped

when mind decided to step up

as mind saw the errors of rush

where heart confess to sudden crush

and now the mind is in control

and heart is stopped, immovable

as it was too soon for a confession

not because the feelings are still into fruition

but because whatever the scenario is

the mind knows that the heart can't take

so mind decided that there is a perfect time

for the heart to be free once more

as the heart will be caged for now

with the mind in control

44 of 366: All over again

You said yourself a million times
that she's not the one inside your mind
gave it up, you said it so
but one smile she has, you go back falling more
weak on the knees and trembling in joy
as she formed a smile because of what you did
and everytime you achieve such feat
you feel like all is in place all over again

43 of 366: I fell in love on a wednesday night

Dimming lights and flashing sparks
a night with dark clouds and no stars
the moon above is half dim
but still there is light radiating
where a smile had changed the mood
and a simple "hi" turned a bad day to good
it feels as if the noise is silenced
and a crowd so loud became unheard
it is as if destiny tripped
and all disappeared, in a moment of heartbeat
because under the dark clouded sky
and along with the dumbfounded style
I saw you carrying a smile
where I fell in love on a wednesday night

42 of 366: Is this?

Is this the love all have spoken of?
where it hurts all sides and more
the heart refuse to beat
and the eyes continue to weep
where hands keep trembling
in fear of uncertainty or
the rage of learning love's true nature
where the feet is uneasy and hair is a mess
mouth that wants to shout
but better kept shut?
So this is the love all have adored?
where everyday is an internal struggle
and a question of sanity

41 of 366: She was his sun

He treated her as if she was the sun

where he spoke daily of how she

becomes the light of his life

However, as time progress the way he looked

at the sun of his life is far from

the light he once appreciated

Looking at her became his frustration

as if it hurts his eyes

He was embraced by it's warmth

then complained of the heat

he reacted strongly when she

beautifully faded into the sunset

as he complains that she is gone

and in the days she feels her best

and her light and warmth is stronger

he complained and hid to a shade

when she lost her light, he complained

and when she was there, he was ungrateful

He never knew the beauty of her

until the sunset came

and forever now he wonder

how he never saw the beauty before

and how he will see it no more

as the sun will continue to shine

but never to him, no more

40 of 366: Opposite of me

If my body was bit leaner

and frame was bit thinner

then I could play guitar

with song that could sing to you afar

likewise, if my hair was straight and kempt

and my nose is not too wide

and my acts are more mature

and my smile is seen more pure

having better academics

and talented at best

if I was all those things

would you love the opposite of me?

39 of 366: Voice

I could listen to her all day

in all the things she has to say

may it be any topic under the sun

or another song she softly sang

even though I heard those words before

I'd like to hear those words in another order

as her words keep repeating in sentences

but her meaning open up to new realities

her words are nice, but her voice is better

soft deep and husky at times

and I could listen to it repeat all day

on a repeat everyday, may it be

a happy or a crappy one

38 of 366: Fragile

Fooled between simple glances
and awe in times of smile and chuckles
losing my mind on thoughts of you
as you seep my mind, with no clue
We heard the songs most of love
and yet no reason to listen have
now lyrics have a deeper meaning
as you become every melody
you flood my thoughts
As I had found what I always sought
looking at you has been bizarre
As I adore you most, for what you are
this boring life, you gave it sense
and broaden the view, that was then so dense
strong in your eyes but fragile at your smile
cold as ice but will melt at your hands

37 of 366: Fool and tainted

Fooled minds and tainted hearts

are blind of their own faults

as they don't react to blood spilt

as long as it wasn't theirs

their fantasy in their domain

is that they are the heroes in the story

they sing song of their victories

but turn deaf when to others

It's a time to get loud

for these fooled munds and tainted hearts

need to be put

in their own place

36 of 366: Universe

One can hope that the worst days passed

and the life ahead will be pleasant

where the skies above cheers of love

and hope is there alway to be found

When you thought the worst has passed

the universe finds a way

to kick you in the back 

with the universe not knowing

that you can take as many kicks 

as they offer

as you crawled the mud 

and spat the blood

you've seen the worst and worst ahead

and you survive and will survive again

every light may end in dark 

but the light ahead 

is stronger than any darkness

35 of 366: Nothing you can do.

Thing get caught in a mess
and not all will understand you
there will be a great disparity
of what they know
and what you feel
sometimes your feelings
don't matter at all
especially to people
who does not even care
of what is happening beneath
the chaos of your mind
they judge what they see
and that is there all to it
there is nothing you can do
but simply hope for the best

34 of 366: I never

I never got to him
and realize how he acts
he was always perplexing to me
as his actions were stupid as fuck

He never knew how to treat you right
despite you, not asking for much
every request you make
is another bothersome for him
the time of talking that you expect
is still cut short by him
he can go days and days not seeing you
or even hearing about you
as if you exist in that domain
where you only come out
when he's in the mood

because a day not seeing you is wrong
and I always wish to speak to you
when a day has passed without your presence
I feel like it's a day that's wasted
So I never understood the way he act
how he took for granted
something I wish something I had

33 of 366: Kung nung una

Sa pagninilay ng mga aksyon
may mga bagay na hindi maayos
ang kanilang kinahinatnan
pinapili kung lalaban o susuko
mas pinili kong sumuko
at sayo ay bumitaw
dahil noon akala ko
sa kanya ang buong kaligayahan mo
ngunit lumipas ang oras at panahon
hindi nauwi sa maganda ang inyong relasyon
agad ika'y lumapit sakin humihikbi
sinasabi ang kasalanan niya
na sarili mo isinisisi
kung gaano ko nakita ang saya sayong mga mata
ay ganun ko rin nakita gano gumuho ang mundo mo
habang isinasalaysay mo ang mga pangyayari
ay may mga katanungan na pumapasok saking isip
kung lumaban kaya ako noon
o kaya kahit umamin man lang
umabot kaya tayo sa punto na ikaw ay masasaktan?
sa akala kong tama kong desisyon
dalawang mundo ang gumuguho ngayon
kaya ngayon aking napagninilayan
kung nung una pa sana kita ipinaglaban
ay hindi ka na niya sana nasaktan
at ang konsepto mo ng pag ibig at romansa
ay hindi sana naguho ng tuluyan

32 of 366: Month

For the month of hearts most are hopeful
as the month that passed is rather dreadful
fireworks and noise erupted in start of last month
but now we're all just hoping
that the world don't crumble soon
Hoping the best will come
and that the worst has passed
in the days of sweets and letters
there should be no stirring disaster