A bit of longing for today

Never will I ever surprise you

Of gifts you never knew

Nor watch a live basketball game

While cheering on the team of same

Guess I will forever look over your grave

As a visit to the cemetery is all I could give

We'll never color the world someday

Only your tombstone I can paint

So I lament the years to come

As success will be in unexpected sum

But all you will ever be

Is a bitterweet memory

Full of you

My hands long to hold another

As one fits in, not I remember

I crave the pieces of ourselves

Fitting in perfect and seamless

I chase the moment and the thrill

How I long to feel another feel

But then we slowly fell apart

Until both fell out of love

Long I built myself of mess

Brain wired in, in game of chess

Then I realize these past few days

Your presence here, is what I crave

Myself, I hardly knew

I long for you, as long I've known

My heart is full of you

I can hardly call it my own

Top

The top is a lonely place

Of which I forever chase

But is loneliness where I belong?

What if all this time, I was wrong

I never sought company of another

Nor kept memories to remember

Every moment fleeting by

Is a memory I often deny

Did I really crave this isolation

Or the feeling has been too familiar

That in my hastiest intuition

I run to it like a safety scarf