Self made cage

Sparks are gone

And spotlights dimmed

Butterflied flew

But in another direction

The world of a person

In which I wish was mine

Is now nothing inside

As there are more in find

The long struggle

Of staying in nothing

Is finally over

My own made cage

Is broken by me too

Tiring

It's tiring really

When your entire persona

Is taken as a personal attack

Where pride resides

One thing you built up

For a very long time

Threatens the fragile

Close to crumble

Mundane

There is not much to write today

No love is throbbing in my heart

And no pain tested me so far

Everything around me is never perfect

But they were the mundane and boring

That I would appreciate in my life

I am neither angry or happy

Lonely or empty

All I know is at this point in time

I embraced the mundane I have right now

Worth it

I'd hate to take a leap

I'm terrified of risks 

Been scarred of past

So I am scared to crash

But to you I'd take them 

All over again those fears

because you are worth it

All gone

Still I wonder with proper timing

Would things turn out differently?

Where the moments are ours 

And all the time are given

If maturity had come too soon

Would I have chosen the right actions

But all these what ifs are all for naught

Because the chance is already gone

Mini vacation

Days between the struggle

Are the silver linings

In which we try to grasp 

In which we hold on to

Because reality is not so kind

Interest

To slowly lose interest

In the things I longed for then

Has my drive been depleted 

In pursuit of ambition?

Roads

Still I think what moments

In my life 

Could have played out differently

First step

First step always toughest 

Unsure of what would happen

But a well thought out plan

Could be of something nice

So as I take the leap 

Sleep

Sleep sleep sleep

Happy Father's Day!

To those who barely go home

And those who work their backs hard

Those who struggle to provide

And for those who try to balance all the line

To those who tried their best

To be the best version of themselves

And those who departed us early

And from heaven only watches

May they get all the  love they deserve

And to those who are living

Tell them how great they

Trust me they will love it

Kinda sucks how mine was taken away

And we could do nothing much 

Toxic

Revealed it is when things are down

When one has nothing and everything

The colors they wished to hide

Are revealed otherwise

But Some do not wait for the shadows

As they do not bother with the audience

Their toxicity reveals in broad daylight

And ask sympathy at night time

Oh how I loathe such trait of a man

Where he himself on his own cannot stand

But when the chips are down and out

They cry to those they care without

Happy Birthday Pam and Bea!

To all the lunches we have together

And the crushes we want for each other

All the tears we cried in failures

And all our celebrated victories

Cheers to the sleepless acad nights

And exams borderline we cry

To many more years we'll be through

NA

 Spare the creative juices for now

I'll write nothing

Shut

The window really closed

And the door was sealed shut

Maybe its time

To look for other houses

One which would welcome

Us in a better way

inside

In moments where you feel empty

Broken and bruised inside

You kind of wish that in this life

You have no feelings to hide

Or even emotions to subside

I hate how I can still hurt people

Even with the best of intentions

And how much friendships I lost

In pursuit of something more

I guess even in the best of days

And even among the best of us

Bite your tongue

A time would come

And end up like this

It was bound to happen

We don't know when

But now it came 

As were distraught

I don't have words to say

And maybe I picked the wrong ones

And tried to speak my mind

But I kind of wish

I didn't speak at all

At the end of the tunnel

Shifting in the winds

Finally in our favor

Lighting from above

As the end of tunnel

Shining on us bright

We brought out matches

But when the sun was smiling

It was a relief

Escaping the hardship

That encased us then

We live to tell the tale

And create stories for ourselves

Lines I wish I said (1)

Soak in the moment

Breathe in everything

Take all at once

And remember this point in time

Look around 

Freeze every frame you see

Then look at me

It's here still

It remains here beating still

Hoping that time will be kind

That what happened in the present

Were wrong in timing

But time would also test me 

To until when can I wait

Invisible Walls

There are gaps we seem to notice

But we rather not talk about

There are walls built in between

But too shy to break down

Will this stand forever?

Or crumble in time?

Did we simply lose something special

In pursuit of something more

Cold rainy weather

Cold weather isn't helping

To boost us in the ending

As sleep is all we want

And lie down for all we care

The thoughts along didn't help 

With my heart torn to shreds

But yearning for hope still

I can't get to get peace

As the light of hope flickers

And slowly dwindles

May tomorrow offer better

For this heart to tender

And learn to let go

Of the possibility that couldn't

Happen even if we want to

Waiting is an option

But we have to accept the no

And respect oneself to set boundary

I really hate this weather

Hope comes

Streaks of light comes in

With cracks in the ceiling

End of the tunnel shining

Greed

All the pain you brought

And problems you created

For all the people you bothered 

Lies that you yourself believe

A strike from the heavens will come

And take everything you took

You'll run dry and be left alone

Cycle

When the cycle repeats

Over and over again

Even though a bit it still hurts

You know there should be change

Where you will look deep 

Within your discarded self

And why everything falls to pieces

When thing looked so perfect

Love language

Best efforts does not breed success

Even when the subject of love

Is put on to the test

It does not mean they do not try hard enough

But that is what they could offer to you best

Nobody is at fault

If an agreement is not met

It only means the love language you spoke

Is the one that they are not fluent with

Someone could love you forever

Or vice versa altogether

But when the love degree differ

It only calls for the uncertain

Maybe you could settle

And live what they could offer

Just think of you happiness

As  it is all there is that is at stake

Shift

Keep watering the flowers

And sunlight coming in

It's not gonna rain forever
Don't let the struggle sink 

Listen to the things around 

And give time to things in mind

Maybe happiness is closer 

Than you often think

The direction where you are looking 

Might need a shift

Some love isn't worth waiting for

It's not worth another fall

Not worth another year

It doesn't deserve your patience

Or all the love you have to give

Time you will invest to it

Would be of better use

And energy you will exert

Deserves other things in return

The love you have long for

Is not simply worth it

You swallow the reality

That she isn't yours for the taking

Time may shift the fates

But focus on yourself

Wait

You'll never see me in the light

That I wish you would 

Fates have not been kind

When I wish they should

Dwindling the days of old

And holding on to false hope

I pray the time you will be ready

For the love I saved so greatly 

But is it something I should inflict

On myself self once more?

Or now I should think

If I truly deserve so much more

And dread of waiting again

For something unsure 

Starting June

It started right in all means

As actions would take place

Semester end approaching

And step by step finishing 

This may be the best I could have so far

Who knows what the future holds?