Confirm

It was never meant to be in the first place

And the risks was all over

There was no chance to begin with

You simply wish to confirm

Distance

Fresh wounds yet to heal

As you left it throbbing

May the avoidance 

Never to be taken personal

As you must bear in mind

I was hurt for a long time

The hope I held on for long

Is shattered by your five words

So the distance I create

Is not born of hate

There are some wounds to mend

As pain demands to be felt

But when these scars have healed

And these open wounds have stitched

I'd welcome you as another friend

But for now keep the distance to your end

Admiration

In the sea of temptations

Three years past aforementioned

Feelings that were back then

Forever still remained

The beats of heart then

Remains for that single person

Seasons changed and we've grown

But still remains that admiration

Happy Graduation!

Another foot forward towards tomorrow

Another struggle to push the other door 

A new journey in life closes

As the other one opens

It was never easy leaving,

But the entrance was not so kind as well

The times of uncertainties

And the struggles of waiting

If any one would accept you

All the jitters and anxiety

Start flying through

But these days will pass 

And the best of ones will soon come

Unrequited

Plunging into my mind abyss

Grasping into made up memories

Then holding into infinite

Pulled back into reality

The future I wish have slipped

Along with the fantasies shattered

Falling victim into scenarios created

Now I drown in my dread

All the made up conversations

Tearing up in my expectations

Reality comes crashing in

That you're not someone I wish

I can have forever with

Stopping

We never really stop loving

We simply accept the fact 

That the things we want in life

Are not the ones that will be given

Chances

For the time being

The idea of romance

Is not for me

Maybe it's all the missing chance

And all the baseless trance

So forward is where we go

Since romance is often "no"

It's really not

It's not always about you

The whispers and talks of few

I can say, they are not talking about you

Not all anger is directed at you

But you manage to push every buttons

I don't know if it's ego 

Or born from insecurity

But other people does not deserve

To be a garbage dump

Of every negative feeling you have

Frustrated to an extent

Close to frustration 

Irritated at best

Headache crawling up

And head throbbing in

Jaws clenching hard

Neck and shoulders itchy

Sweat is slowly building

Breaths tightening

Sight is dimming 

And fingers shaking 

Frustrated at best at what is happening

All I can do is complain

While desperately moving forward

Because no one really cared at all

But we have to fight like

It's the only that matters

Hair

Every color encapsulates

The beauty that seemingly escalates

Everytime the hue changes

And everytime the color fades

It could never do any wrong

As perfection dictates so

Every style match her eyes

And every shade match her smile

Crap

Creative juices not just flowing

So all I do is keep words regurgitating

The past few poems have been crap

As the ideas are all but shat

Summer heat

Summer heat crawls in my skin

Head follows, throbbing deep

While we could use some resting

At this point it feels nothing

As rests will never work

As long as the work still runs

Inside your mind

We never really rested 

Since this pandemic started

I hate this heat

Summer heat seeping in

Air is slowly thinning

head slightly feeling dizzy

Always feeling thirsty

Not writing today

The sun was hot as damn

I really hate this climate

Screw this

Glued

As early morning sunshine brushes her face

I could not simply avert my gaze

Because the way the wind sways your hair

Makes me wish I was forever there

Brown eyes I could get lost for days

Beauty is there with all its trace

In the things I love and great at most

Her eyes is where I'm often lost

Complimenting mostly in surface

There are things I love underneath

Values of yours I won't replace

Heart of yours I wish to stay

Boku no Kokuhaku

Never has it went well

Results have gone the same

The past is not something to dwell

But cycle repeating is a shame

But this time it feels different

Where a little persistence

Then victory will soon come

But then again I cling to the wind

And promises never made

Well yes and no

Things are going well

But somehow it scares me

I just hope the happiness ensued

Is not a price to pay later

one in a billion

In many lifetimes

And parallel universe

I would never get tired

Of choosing you daily

It may not always go my way

In those billion possibilities

But if one out of a billion succeed

That is more the reason to celebrate

Burns

Days that passed slightly felt better

Where the willingness to learn was still eager

But now as breaks grow nearer

I feel my body going weary

I should feel great amidst all of this

But somehow I feel something less

I wish the strength I have returns

And the passion of flame still burns

Aches

The heart still beats the same

But understands that the longing

Will be longer this time and day

Soon it will never ache

But for now let me bear the pain

Not in this lifetime I guess

The wish to hold someone

Under the stars and sky

Embracing someone at night

Without feeling too hard to try

The future of which I wish

Or the happiness bliss

Still the hand I long to hold

Even when I should move on

Because the idea of romance

Between the two of us

Is long dead and gone

But the alternative world

Where there's you and me

I kinda wish it exists

rest day hehe

Resting my creative juice for now

I have requirements to tend

Regrets

We took pride in things we shouldn't

Feeling high on being resilient

Normalizing things that were toxic

Destroying the future, as well as the present

Building up to things we'll soon resent

And now things are over and ended

We became the people we resented

In reaching for love we couldn't

Stay true to the love messages we sent

From the moment we were bent

It was inevitable to be broken from each dent

I regret the love I lent

And all the time we spent

Remember when you said you love me to an extent?
Now, I kinda wish you didn't

Last shred of hope you did not know you still have

Even when all hope is lost

And you are fighting a losing cause

You scrape and sharpen your claws

Because you care for this goal the most

Clenching fist and tightens jaw

All you'll do, even crawl

Facing already what is worst

You fight and realize nothing to lose

Losing the last drop of hope

You did not know you still hold on

That you ask above the Lord

And pray the timing's just wrong

Story of another us

I hope the other me is loved by the other you

With feelings that could not be more true

Loved without reservations or second thoughts

Forgiving each other for each faults

Chosen at first sight, at first confession

And every problem is solved with discussion

Happy as they can be

And the relationship is fully healthy

I hope my other self never stops choosing you

In the same manner as I do

I hope he knows my wildest fantasies

Are the ones he enjoys in reality 

In the story of another us 

Happy ending is a must

At Least in another world I trust

My feelings are left at just

I hope the two of you end up together

Because this reality is no better

I hope the love story of another us

Is the love story I long to have

Better days are coming

Better days are coming

And I can feel it

It's a matter of mindset

And how I will be taking

All the challenges piling

Which almost broke me back then

Ill-equipped

Running wild on my mind

The future felt so grim

In a few years all this will fire back

And we would have to live

In a future where we're ill-equipped

And stagnant of the minds

I hate this

Piled up

Just when you think you have grasp of the things the world just keeps piling up things you could not do. Sometimes it just hits you left and right before and before you could stand it already took a toll on you. i kinda wish things were different and maybe difficult at times but not this heavy.

Day off

A day of no work feels like a mistake

As if it's a huge risk to take

But never have I felt more liberated

Than ever before

I guess working is fine

But these days I'll cherish

April fool's I guess

Not to sound pessimist on the first day of the month but sometimes even if you feel everything you do is right, there are times that life simply pulls you away and grounds you to what reality is.