274 of 366: Concrete

Had perfection was concrete

It would be you, 

To where as something abstract

Personified

Still I hate my guts

For I have love you so long

Yet the act has yet be done

Still shaken to the core

Still trembling on my knees

I guess I liked you too much

Too hard 

And the fantasy I made 

Inside my mind

Is too good to be true

And those fantasies would crumble

The moment I take a leap.

273 of 366: Unmotivated

These things used to excite me

As if i finish a task

And learn in the process

But only a few weeks in

I feel like not doing anything

I feel like I pushed too far

Not realizing

That the system is against me

Now I'm tired 

And I just wanna sleep 

272 of 366: Wonder

Would things have changed

If you lived in the stories you heard?

Could you have save her?

Could you have change things

If you were present? 

How much do you think of yourself

That you thought you could change things

Are a hero of nil

Or a delusional idiot

But at one time 

we all did wonder

271 of 366: Forgive yourself

Listen,

You have to forgive yourself

In all the times you felt rage

Anger and hatred

For all the times you wish

That you fought back

But you didn't

For the times the anger manifested

And you end up hurting people

It's not always your fault

No one really wants that to happen

Except the jerks who did

Just be happy you didn't escalate

The situation any further

You became the bigger man

I know you're still hurting

From what they did to you

I seeps in the skin

Causing damage as you go through

You were not an element of failure

And especially not their mold

It's okay what your feeling right now

But you have to let things go

You owe yourself an apology

And a promise of redemption

Say sorry to those you hurt

And let go of those who wronged you

270 of 366: Bullshit

 Even in preemptive strikes

Doing things so early in time

Making every possible sacrifice 

You still run out of time

Is it reasonable at this point

To burden so much

Knowing what we're going through

Why would they do such?

269 of 366: Meadows

 Search the meadows for the truth

Your search will bear no fruit

As they twist and break facts

You need to think and fastly act

The silent days have been scary

As storms come in so shortly

But then again we wish everyday

That the peace be sustained

268 of 366: Just no.

Days passes like nothing

It suck the eagerness inside

The joy I have

Are all but gone

267 of 366: My younger self

I wonder where's that jerk now

Is he still whipping hankies

Or punching random dudes

Did he now realize that entitlement

Brings you nowhere?
Did that jerk succeed?

Or did he remain in the shadows

Of someone greater than him

Oh if I was only wiser 

And stronger then 

But I guess it's part of life

Where you will be beaten up

I don't wish all the worst things for him

Even if I didn't get an apology

We weren't even that close

And we didn't become friends

He was a jerk to all around

And I have to live with that

I don't have to forgive him

But I have to forgive myself

For feeling anything wrong

For thinking of things

That I shouldn't be

If I could save my younger self

From all the people around him

For turning him into a monster

That hurts people in return

Becoming a product of hatred

And loathing those below

I would like to save him somehow

But the child is all but gone

He's trying to redeem himself somehow

Because for all the apologies

He made to people he hurt

No one apologized to him

For the years he suffered 

I wish no ill will to those people

But do that shit to me today

I'm fighting back

266 of 366: Wonderful

And all the wonderful things

Embodied one person

As if perfection personified

The sense of purpose you lost

And you thought you never had

Is all unfolding before you

265 of 366: Listen

Only if you listened

We would not be in this mess

If only you were content

Then we shouldn't be in trouble

In arrogance and seeking glory

You put yourself in misery

I can only hope the sun will shine

Let's just let the storm pass by

264 of 366: tired

Too soon to be tired

But we're all trying

263 of 366: Freeze

 This shit is exhausting

It's nonsense and waste

I'm not learning anything

I'm merely passing modules 

And answering sheets

262 of 366: Chase

I guess too much for something

You end up getting nothing

So make the most of what you have

Before it become something you had

Cliche words but still apply

Especially in the hopeless kind

261 of 366: Odds to a million

In all the years I could have lived

And all the lifetimes i could exist

In all the worlds I could revere

Fate brought me with you near

I thank the God for this chance

Though I always seem to miss a part

But maybe time will fruit it's labor

And odds will be in my favor

260 of 366: Twist

Then again look again

I'm lost for words

To something I can never have

I only wish fate would twist

And give something real

Maybe all I desire I won't get

But a few of those wouldn't hurt

259 of 366: Existence

 Suddenly the rain isn't so heavy

And the day is not so bad

Well, the cold weather seems nice

Bad wake ups doesn't mean bad days

Because someone comes redeeming 

All the bad luck

And they did nothing

Besides existing

And their existence in the world

Means so much

You don't know why

258 of 366: Bit Overwhelmed

 We're a little bit lost

Anxious and confused

Never knowing where to go

Overwhelmed by the world

Never been the patient type

So I guess I'm in my line

But never have I felt before

The feeling of so much chore

257 of 366: Burn out

We're all tired and a bit anxious

As tomorrow isn't promised

Let's just hope for the best

That we all pass and not burn out

256 of 366: Alchemy

The price of something

Comes always at cost

So all the riches in the world

Will soon be naught

255 of 366: Kind..

 Maybe we were too hard

On ourselves, we forgot

That we should be kind

Not only to other

But also within    

254 of 366: Unbothered jerks

 Forced wakes and smiles

Unready, by far, like miles

No one wanted

Especially the affected

But the ones who decided

Are the ones at rest

Funny how the unaffected

Are given the power

Over our fates

253 of 366: Shit.

At this point we're just sick 

Of the things happening

Putting other shit first

So we're in chaos more

252 of 366: Question

We all have a question to the world

Answers yet to heard

So in the meantime of dread

We wait until we no longer care

251 of 366: Art of letting go

Will the be of greater woe

Than a soul who lost control

Of his fate and all adore

Leaving him all alone

I could only imagine so

That man with shaken core

Wishing for tomorrow no more

As he hit rock bottom low

A story we conjure from sorrow

May serve as lesson tomorrow

That there are things you can't control

And learn the art of letting go

250 of 366: Move

Speak for the speechless

Listen for the deaf

Look for the blind

Feel for the numb

One should not wait

To be oppressed 

Before speaking

As in its highest form

Compassion is a battle

That doesn't affect you

But will make others lives

Better than yesterday

249 of 366: Dehumanize

Assuming someone is born evil

Is thinking a child could have impure thoughts

But a child could not think of evil

As he is fixated on food

 Monsters are not born

They are made to begin with

Influenced with established evil

They succumb to madness

It's easy to dehumanize

the ones we hate the most

But looking deeper into psyche

We're not that different

What makes you think

You won't be the monster you loathe

248 of 366: I feel stupid

For now, for you I lost my words

Maybe because I spoke too much

Too much to define who you are

But still on the surface

You looked so good in my eyes

That deeper part of you

I yet to know

Shows how shallow I am

On how I feel stupid 

For writing about you

As all I defined was your physical beauty

Anything else, I'm clueless

247 of 366: Miracle don't happen every day

In a day bright and boring

None exciting happening

We're here anxiously waiting

For something good to happen

As outside the world's burning

Children and elders dying

Leaders not even trying

Miracle, all them waiting

246 of 366: Morgue Flashbacks

I memorized them all

The cracks in the wall

Punch marks

Clawed bloody marks

Sense of being watched

Feeling of despair

The disbelief

A body lying there

But you felt so alone

Frozen in that moment

Dying inside

Trying to make sense

245 of 366: In a perfect world

Distract the smart

Put weights in the strong

Mask the beautiful

Starve the rich

Spoil the poor

Strike bottom up
Minorities speak up

Privileged shut up

Cap the wealth

Remove rankings

Restrain the talented

In all the trouble

To nerf people

In search of perfect world

Things would still

Be vastly different