367 of 366: I spent a year for this blog only to label them wrong

It was one hell of a year, got offers I wasn't expecting and the pandemic really shook the world to its core. I am more angry than I have ever been to everything but I still love every silver lining there is that happened. Would keep blogging next year but would do things differently.

Thank you for those who read through and through I would do better next year.

366 of 366: Oh well

I really labeled these things wrong and probably I should do better formats next year. Oh well.

365 of 366: ayts

I'm really tired today

And I really labeled these things wrong

Night

364 of 366: welp

I am now heading to what I wished

Since the holiday started 

And will receive the gifts I always wanted

But looking back at my blogs

I named these things off 1 day

363 of 366: games

I'll play games

today

362 of 366: A bit worn out

Longer I do these things

I feel like they are dragging out

Like the fatigue caught up to me

Or if I'm even making any sense

I kinda wished my creative juice

Would soon overflow

But maybe tired as I may be

I just need to rest a bit

361 of 366: Merry Chrystmas

The year that passed

Is not all that kind

But blessed us still

To make this far

Every day is truly a gift

Despite the world that shift

May the years ahead

Be kinder than now

And let's hope that what we faced

Is the worst in our lifetime

As tomorrow is never promised

We can only hope for the best to come

360 of 366: Normal is good

The day seem normal 

Like a day no other

Nothing special

But the calmness of the mind

That I have right now

Compare to last year

is way better now

359 of 366: Realizations

I should be setting some boundaries

To myself against others

Like why do I keep putting myself

In situations I would suffer

What the hell is wrong with me?

358 of 366: what

How does one quantify happiness?
Has the thought lost in the process?

Do we wait for something to happen?
To what things we associate?

357 of 366: Just, ugh.

Human lives taken with no remorse

Every day, just piling up corpse

Those who we should turn into

Are feared for what they could do

Every once in a while they fill the headlines

Charged but not imprisoned for their crimes

People will continue to uproar

If they will do nothing more

356 of 366: It is very cold

Cold wind was never comfort

Not a feel I would resort

A thing not in my accord

Crawling in my skin

Inside my head squeezing

While my jaw tightening 

Such discomfort is felt

Pain I wish would melt

355 of 366: I forgot

How very telly that we forget

The thing we all resent

When happiness comes in 

And when things are great

Let's hope that the days remain this way

354 of 366: Struggle today

Things are tough and there will be more

You can only hope to survive like before

Maybe some things in your life won't coordinate

But they do not deserve your hate

Some rewards after will compensate

And better things you will create

But now bear with today

And fight through the haze

353 of 366: Take a breathe

There is no need for a rush 

Or to trigger every word and action

Not all conflicts need attention

And some sparks are meant to stay that way

Maybe we're all tired 

And irritated in some sort

But it does not mean we're bad people

Just really tired and exhausted 

Of everything in the world

Going in the wrong direction

352 of 366: Take it easy

The mind itself is too powerful

Creating thoughts it never should

Then in the boy, it manifests

Leaving no room for rest

Then you feel all sorts of things

Drowning you in feelings

There feel pain on everything

Then it numbs when you succumbs 

So take a rest and sit back

And learn to wait for your life to track

351 of 366: Just a little more

All the pieces coming together

The days could not get any better

In light of things that becomes clearer

Bad days soon will falter

Push one more in the days ahead

Apply everything you learn and read

350 of 366: calm down

Maybe I do need rest

And take my mind off things

Little calmer now I seem

As I got my sleep

Too much of something

Never really produces good

Maybe I just panic

But I am where I should

349 of 366: Optimist

Sun is clear and gleam today

Ready for whatever may

My foot has yet to heal

But my mind is perfect as it seem

I feel great for the days ahead

And tomorrow doesn't sound so bad

348 of 366: From the roots themselves

They are not born with it

Rather taught of evil

The world molds the people

Making some, very twisted

In all the cries and lies

These little people make

Are from adults whose 

Thoughts are no better

347 of 366: The storm before the calm

I feel like nothing is there to write

As I slog the last day of the semester

My creative juices are reserved

For better things in mind

But when I do achieve the highest end

With flying colors finishing the sem

Then  will write once more

From the heart this time

346 of 366: Nice.

Now all the things out of reach

Are now in your fingertips

You struggle a bit 

But the grind was worth it

Maybe If I was like this before

I could have been happier or more

But then again the struggle made me strong

345 of 366: When you feel like dreaming but your eyes are wide open

All the dreams are in place

Gone the days

When we wish for these

Things to make

And those things deemed impossible

Are in the future now

A little patience would bloom

Into something you always hoped for

344 of 366: Just around the corner

Silver skies pouring rain

The sun has blocked rays

But all the metaphors in the world

Cannot erase all the faults

How long can lies and deceit

Be kept up and linger

Slowly killing the essential

Only to cry in the final

Every little will pile up

And the wrong will bite back

343 of 366: And so the week begins

So the week begins

Reality come cashing in

And all the things you thought

You could ignore

All comes crashing in

My foot is still aching

And the weather is cold

But all of that won't matter

When things are done

The way they are should

342 of 366: rest day hehehe

We deserve a day of rest

And a gentle caress

The days ahead will be harsh

But let us seize

This day as ours

341 of 366: the thing about hope is that you don't get it when you don't want it

Though the hope of romance fleeted

Hope somehow comes in seeped

Days that never made sense

Suddenly made one right now

But this could be a product

Of a perfect world I have in mind

All these assumptions

Living in  my imagination

But maybe this time it's different

Where things bloom 

And they last and never vague

I just hope this one is

340 of 366: A few push more

Back to the square I'm lost

Of all the things I ignored

Became crucial at most

And now I feel torn

The day is about to break

But the night shows darkness

As glimpses of hope slowly appear

You cannot ignore

The darkness seeping

339 of 366: The cold always bothered me everyday

Seeping inside my bones

Bothering the drying my throat

Feeling runny, this nose

As I feel every discomfort

Remedies done and due

Medicines drank and so

I simply wait for it to kick in

And my health becomes good again

This kind of weather bothers me

As my body never adjusts

Heat or cold they are often too much

But it's the paranoia that happens

Of something greater than the weather

But I'm pretty sure I'm just cold

338 of 366: Please stop, it's getting pathetic

Mind your own business

Own your faults

You will not take us with you

You'll fall on your own

The false cries 

And shallow tears

Inconsistencies show

And the lies are shattered

Who know what will happen

When the truth comes crashing

337 of 366: Grim days

The crimson sky weeps of diamond

As the days get even cold

Tightening of lungs and chest

Breathing suddenly was a chore

The days to come are filled with hope

As grim days have already passed

Surely not of worse will come

Because if not, what is more to come

336 of 366: Keep quiet and think of what you've done

All the excuse in the world

Will never spare you from the truth

Lies will not last long

Especially that shallow facade

Eventually crumbles

You ought to explain every time

You just burn yourself

335 of 366: At this point you give up and wait

In the light of romance

I left it all to chance

To whatever the day will bloom

No longer I feel gloom

Since all the chase have been naught

Wasted time and effort

Now in the time I love myself

Only waiting on what life will give 

334 of 366: The only way from rock bottom is up so start climbing

Motivation was lost 

For a lower cause

In aim of greatness

You lose yourself

Now behind of things

You feel yourself crumbling

Tired from the beginning

Even when work amounts to nothing

Now with a heavy feeling

You try to go on

Pick up of what is left

And fight with a greater end

Because being burnt out

Is never the end truly

You just need some rest timely

And all the drive lost before

Will come back even more

Rock bottom only means

Nothing more can be your losing

The only way is up from here

So stand, make your thoughts clear

333 of 366: I feel mad for no reason, I hate it

For some reason I'm pissed

Angry at everything

Even though there is nothing

I should be mad about

Maybe the sight of discontent

Malice and incompetence

Rise and makes my blood boil

In all the complaints

The acid is slowly rising

It seeps into the mind

Creating monsters of imaginary

I cannot confide

If everyone is an enemy

332 of 366: Nothing personal, we just don't like you

Chase the night, the day is breaking

Stars are twinkling, slowly disappearing

Moon cools down, lost of sighting

As the sun rises, blindly staring

The night isn't so bad

It's just day is what we prefer to have

331 of 366: Meh.

Disappointed

But not surprised

We're all sick at this point

And tired as hell

330 of 366: I hate these

A little bummed

Clueless and exhausted

All the things easy before

Comes to me as a heavy chore

And that is saying a lot or more

Because these things I use to enjoy

But when upon me these tasks are forced

I find the joy of doing such is no more

329 of 366: Bored as hell, anxious a fuck

In all the possibilities existing

You exists here today

Whether or not it is you liking

You live here as you may

A reason to live is what we sought

But we all have reasons, regardless of thought

To live and struggle is the exchange of life

Meaning fate was never truly nice

328 of 366: I have no drama today, i just hate how hot it is

Under the skin still seeping in

Bones cracking each other tackling

Lips are not shivering

Rather, peeling due to drying

Sweat slowly building

And shirts slowly wetting

Masks required are not helping

As they tightened breathing

I swear I felt a lung collapsing

But luckily it's just me overreacting

327 of 36: Don't you hate it when they hurt you so you fight back and now you're the bad guy?

I'm still mad for reasons of yesterday

But feels the guilt of my attitude

But whose anger can be easily swayed

When there was too much disrespect

They lost all rationality

And now I'm the one plain evil

I reacted in a manner I was hurt

But I revenge is something I never thought

So now I keep all this pent up rage

Hoping they will lose as I age

326 of 366: oh shit

The things we feared before

Are illusion now, nothing more

They are things we yet to confirm

Just fears we kept within

Imagine the things missed

Because of the fear that persists

Opportunities kept hidden

Because faith wasn't given

But in the light where we lept

In the chance we always kept

325 of 366: If you live your life listening solely to old people, you will never be happy

Every face in the city

Is a whole lifetime of story

A dreamer for more

But not one with flaws

Deranged in many forms

From a world full of scorn

Like you, they are scarred

Or not yet, still dumb

But everyone has a story to tell

And it is not for you to sell

They mind their own business

In the manner you should

Everyone is a but of mess

Just break the of hate

That has been imposed

The one thing that needs change

Is the hate traditions of the old

324 of 366: I will have someone someday, just not this one

Somewhere along the ambiguity

I have to let these feelings go

Little bursts of hope 

Ain't helping a possible long romance

The chase was long lost

Before it even began

No competition was held 

It was all for show

A clown thinking he could compete

A battle he never won before

In all the chase and war 

Not once I came out on top

Always giving way

Always giving up

So what makes this one different

But the belief someone out there

Is for me, still stands

Just not this one

323 of 366: Metal thrones melt

The cycle will never end

Because a lot don't want to

The world fits nicely to them

Why would you even change

A world that caters to you

But the balance has been too rough

That a tip is required

It may come sooner in our lifetime

That these bastards pay

Soon the tower where they all stand

And their golden thrones

Will melt and reform

For the people to have more

What they have now 

Is never eternal

The people will ask for payment

Debts will be paid

322 of 366: It really suck that they complain about you when it's really their fault

Embedded that we owe

To what we didn't even ask for

They asked for the responsibility

And leave in talks of accountability

There is no need to listen blindly

They asked for it

But somehow it's our fault

Despite we could have wished other wise

321 of 366: At this point, you guys are hopeless I can only hope there's few of you

Grown men crying on words

Always falling on their woes

Tears they show are not real

Their struggle is nothing

Compare to what we feel

We don't give a damn

If that is their best

They asked for power and more

So they should put it all to test

Your logic are flawed

The moment you had faith

In something so hollow

That is clearly fake

You'd rather drown in awful things

And defend the false and wrongs

Than admit that you were wrong

320 of 366: If you still blindly follow, you are legally stupid

The devil works everyday

He never rest, unlike some say

As evils lurks in strangest places

Even on the most innocent faces

Bleed we will if they lead

"Doing their best" all they plead

Whatever the hell they please 

But in crucial moments they are missed

Then attack those who help willingly

Crying to the followers following blindly

Acting as if nothing happened

Silencing the people's lament

But soon enough there will come a day

Where all these bastard would pay

319 of 366: On the verge of giving up I received an email and all fall into place

The things so cluttered then

Are all falling into place

Everything that happened in between

Are all just part of a chase

Chase of dreams that closely given up

As losing hope I didn't know I still have

Lost in every conceivable way

Light comes in, giving birth to day

The silver linings are now bright sunlight

Little rays of hope are now beaming light

318 of 366: The men who cried wolf

Deafened ears will not listen

Even to the loudest screams

We expect so much from the common

And praise the bare minimum of the nobles

The rich will never understand

The struggles of living day to day at hand

Looking away to the things essential

Disappearing in moments of crucial  

Then cry of wolves when crisis averted

And show their faces no sign of red

Even claims the title of heroes

Despite being part of woes

317 of 366: Listening to elders blindly is as dangerous as slicing a fruit blindfolded

We listen to elders for wise advice

But even they are not susceptible

Sometimes their worst judgments rise

Even speaking the most despicable

We break the mold often than not

With cuts and bruises in the process

But mistakes doesn't happen much

Once you made so much along the way

One mistake does not define you

Because even they made myriad ones

So when they act like they know better

They probably do

But not all the time

The risks you make and take

Defines you, their criticisms do not

316 of 366: Mornings are better with surprises as long as it's pleasant

The morning breeze feels so pleasant now

And waking up early has been so fun

For a long time I wake up with a frown

But one thing change my mind

Suddenly the morning seems nicer

Even if the wind is a little bit cooler

Afternoons are bright, sun being higher

But nothing ruins the sweet moment linger

For all the hope I lost before

This came in, offering something more

Maybe things will work out in the end

Giving fruit to all the happiness suspends

315 of 366: The difference between patience and impatience is how worth it the result is

Threading the weaves of fate

Scouring every silver lining

Taking all the chances made

Cause it's not for us for the taking

Brightest colors slowly fade

Little perks that keeps us sane

No one asked to be made

But were out here surviving

Scouring the lines of scars

We all gathered along the way

From dreams that are afar

Waiting for destiny wave

314 of 366: Great things in wrong places never really helps

Cries of the wolf all around

Howling on a moonless night

Ghosts around keeps circling by

Seeing no glimpse of heaven in sight

Wind is heavy, misting windows

Teary eyed kids

Crying for rest

Lights dimming, joy fading

Never have been this hopeless

Since yesterday's losses

313 of 366: I'll do these things tomorrow because why not

Lost of the things

Important to mind

Taking care of self

Before putting others

The ones I strived through

Are put aside for now

Love the self so forgotten

Leave for a while

312 of 366: If things were easier then more people would do it

No one told me disappointment

Comes in many shapes and forms

Growing of all resentment

All the the thing you abhor

In all the thought you thought

That you did your best

To lose a battle hardfought

Can't be healed by ni amount of rest

311 of 366: Build up and waiting

Words stuck at throat 

Choked of own fear

If things were admitted then

Maybe things were to be easier

But if haste has taken first

The build up may be wasted

But then again

No one assurres 

Where the build up will go

310 of 366: Tired I may seem

Tired and it may seem

The fight goes on and on

No time to rest 

But in the end

None will go for naught

309 of 366: The dread of waiting

Sunshine falls onto my lap 

As the wind breezes back

Clouds above goes dim and dim

Blocking the sun, losing all the gleam

A storm have passed

But one will come

In all the dreads of the world

Waiting seem to hurt the most

The feeling of something

Coming

But you are not seeing anything

Is the greatest fear of all

308 of 366: Controlling

The calm isn't so calm anymore

And the stillness is alarming

For all the chaos done before

Leader who refused to do any speaking

Afraid of accountability

In times of crisis they disappear

Disregarding a nation in tears

For all the crisis they caused

They seem to fear

The ones they can't control

307 of 366: Rolly

 The wind blows strongly

As in the forecast accordingly

All are bracing for what's to come

Wishing it don't come at all

May there be another sunny day

Where we will all smile

But for now

Brace ourselves for the storm to come

306 of 366: A storm is coming

The sky awaits and is calm

As the storm slowly awaits

The wind is slowly seeping in

Gathering strength from within

Truly the terror of waiting

You know there will come a storm

A strong one to be exact

So brace yourself

For what is more to come

305 of 366: Karma soon.

I hate this irritant feeling

Where I'm lost and useless

Tricks have been played on me

And my teeth is gritting

In all the comfort I have before

I lost it in the moment or more

These assholes doing their job

Will soon meet their stop

And as the great fist counters

On the deeds they did wrong

They shall cry and mourn

And ask if they ever did wrong

304 of 366: In my eyes

If you could see the world in my eyes

And how it sparks every time in your sight

I wonder if you would look mundane

If what we see are the same

Your simple sentences are melody to me

Movements are of dance delight

Smile, which no star shine a bright

303 of 366: Bad things happen to good people

Bad things happen to good people

And it happens more often

Good thing come to bad people

But the joy is often shortened

You can't control who the world

Gives to you

Or what kind of problem

It would be

It's a matter of how you act

And treat people

In the reflection 

You wish to be treated

302 of 366: A bit scared

We're all a little bit scared

Of the things we don't understand

Often we fear the unknown

Underlying we don't understand

Suffer the fate we saw first hand

But we hope for the best

And do our part as well

That things in this world

Will go our way

301 of 366: Hopeless it may seem

For the first time since

I've felt hopeless

Asking for help

Clueless as it may seem

But what's different

Is now I know where to run

Unlike then

Where I'm all alone

300 of 366: So Sudden

How I wish you've seen us now

Closing the peaks we never knew how

To reach in the first place

I guess every year we'll contemplate

Of the things that may have been

If your leave wasn't so sudden

299 of 366: A year from now

A year from now what will things be?

Will I smile along today's enemies?

Or get that I always wanted of glow

Even reconcile with some old foes

In my hand will I have a million pesos?

Or a lover I have long for

Will I finally kindle that romance

And finally I have a legitimate chance

Wiser or dumber? what will I be?

Because looking back

Too much and little have changed

A year from the moment right now

Will my world change and how?

298 of 366: Just tired

Head throbbing asking for rest

A day of nothing, no more lest

But the tide of time are of jest

That we fail to see the happiness

Weather in chaos, awry

Signs of fatigue, slowly showing

How I wish myself was sleeping

But he future keeps us grinding

297 of 366: All into place

I guess things do go right

When you sit tight

And your stuff always

At your own pace

Sure, storm come and go

It's you whether to go with the flow

Or fight what the world will show

But what I can assure

Is that things will fall into place for you

Just do what you can

And reward come crashing in

296 of 366: Reserved

Reserved my words

For my works 

Today

295 of 366: Fool's Errand

In all the procrastination

Yesterday little was done

Confidence skyrocketed

And the mistake was made

Thinking there is more time

When in fact it's dwindling

And you're just fooling around

294 of 366: Worst is yet to come

Well the rest I feel I earned was over

And reality comes crashing in

All the works I've done earlier

Is for naught, with more coming in

But two months passed I survived

Two months more I will thrive

The worst is truly yet to come

But who said I wasn't tougher than before

293 of 366: Too late to chance

Oh the wonder if I met you sooner

Then our heart beats a little better

And all our smiles would be a little wider

Maybe we would be smarter

Then I could love you a little bit longer

We will be kids then but who cares

It's with you I want to share

All the things in this world so wonder

But I guess I met you too late to chance

Where we're both cynical of romance

All the lies that we've been told

Had turn all of us this cold

292 of 366: Rest day

A normal day feels wrong

As if you still need to do something

Like if the rush and tasks disappear

You feel like a storm is coming

Rest day feels wrong

And the build is not helping

So instead of simply resting

You work even harder

291 of 366: Discomfort

The vibe was cold 

But the wind was hot

The night was dark

But I see some light

Such discomfort I feel

From the sweat seeping in my back

Acid in my stomach rumbling

Climbing to my throat 

Neck itches heavily 

Glasses falling

290 of 366: A pink tulip

As the tulip stands tall

In garden of roses

It swayed with the october wind

There may be hints of frown

But damn it stand out so proud

Then it blooms as roses fall

With lips or red and pink

To look away, one does not think

Always looking, afraid to be caught

Feelings flutter, but never taught

Oh if the tulip only know

That I wish to pluck it too

But I loved it too much

To risk it die

So I stand here wait

And watch her bloom

Had the tulip have any clue

Would she share my feelings too?

289 of 366: Rainy night

Chase the night seek the stars

There was no moon shining bright

Clouded dark streaks follow

The cold embraced me again

Drops of water from the sky

Streaks of light followed by roars

Then again

December is coming

287 of 366: Jump!

For once I felt like

I have a chance

I want to dive right in 

And chase this while it last

This love I felt may feel

Like all too fairly new

You are the choice

I would never doubt or second thought

Please a sign, A simple sign

I'll take the slightest bit

A shooting star, or a starless night

If things will never be ths way

Then why things seems like to align

If all my effort are for naught

Then why do I still feel hope

If things will suddenly go wrong

Then it's for me to take the leap

286 of 366: Stressedt

Non action now feels wrong 

As I should be doing something

But I'm sitting and resting

And somehow that's more stressful

285 of 366: Out of me

I can't even enjoy a single day

Without thinking other mess

The anticipation always come

And work needs to be done

I really hope to get

Something good out of this

Because the way things are going

They just suck the life out of me

284 of 366: Don't stop

Things are better than I thought

Sometimes the mind just tricks

Of things we hate to see

But looking back 

And stepping back

Things are better than before

We may have struggled then

But we got stronger even more

Sure the tasks keep piling up

But things will be better

Just don't stop

283 of 366: Bound

The future is bright 

it's a matter of mindset

Just take things one step

At a time

And maybe things will

Fall into place

And if they don't

I'm sure for all the good you are

Something beautiful 

Will come

282 of 366: Headstart

Tried to get ahead

Only damaged worst

Attempted a headstart

But still falls short

You will soon think

If sacrifices are worth it

Where you put things aside

I was kinda hoping 

Thing work out in the end

281 of 366: Lingers

I was kinda hoping

When your eyes smile

There was a thought of me

Where I did something 

Even the slightest of stupid

I kinda hope it was me

Because the thought

Of me making you smile

Still lingers on me

280 of 366: Draining AF

Don't you get tired

Of the same ways

Asking pity of all sorts

But wanting to be praised

In search of others approval

You step those who truly care

Taking them for granted

While pleasing others

It's draining to be honest

To still keep with it

279 of 366: This is tiring

A bit tired, often too much

Tides of time against

Information overload

Can't seem to catch a break

Rest feels like sinning

Burned out of tasks

Sleep is lacking

Mind going blank

And body wearing out

Hope a rest day soon come

Because now,

We're a little burnt out

278 of 366: Days ahead

The gift of life is appreciated 

With all the shit happening

Every day passing by

Is a miracle for granted

So I thank the fates for this day

And for the days and years will come

I hope the blessing keep coming

And the sun on us keep shining

277 of 366: The odds of meeting you

In all the lifetimes 

My life revolves the sun

In all the eras

I could have begun

Blessed tis I

To exist in yours

And every second

Passing by

Is the thank I have

To how fate bounded

Existing in your time

Had I feel your embrace

Then I should serve the world

In every conceivable way

276 of 366: Make me a plant

I need water and sunlight

Some wind and space

Maybe some peace of mind

And a good childhood

Add some good friends

Maybe a girl to love

Or erase the last three lines

Just make me to a plant

275 of 366: You always knew

Days before I should say something

I can't say something 

As if the words tangled in my lips

Can't force between my teeth

But what should I say to make you feel special

Because you definitely knew

274 of 366: Concrete

Had perfection was concrete

It would be you, 

To where as something abstract

Personified

Still I hate my guts

For I have love you so long

Yet the act has yet be done

Still shaken to the core

Still trembling on my knees

I guess I liked you too much

Too hard 

And the fantasy I made 

Inside my mind

Is too good to be true

And those fantasies would crumble

The moment I take a leap.

273 of 366: Unmotivated

These things used to excite me

As if i finish a task

And learn in the process

But only a few weeks in

I feel like not doing anything

I feel like I pushed too far

Not realizing

That the system is against me

Now I'm tired 

And I just wanna sleep 

272 of 366: Wonder

Would things have changed

If you lived in the stories you heard?

Could you have save her?

Could you have change things

If you were present? 

How much do you think of yourself

That you thought you could change things

Are a hero of nil

Or a delusional idiot

But at one time 

we all did wonder

271 of 366: Forgive yourself

Listen,

You have to forgive yourself

In all the times you felt rage

Anger and hatred

For all the times you wish

That you fought back

But you didn't

For the times the anger manifested

And you end up hurting people

It's not always your fault

No one really wants that to happen

Except the jerks who did

Just be happy you didn't escalate

The situation any further

You became the bigger man

I know you're still hurting

From what they did to you

I seeps in the skin

Causing damage as you go through

You were not an element of failure

And especially not their mold

It's okay what your feeling right now

But you have to let things go

You owe yourself an apology

And a promise of redemption

Say sorry to those you hurt

And let go of those who wronged you

270 of 366: Bullshit

 Even in preemptive strikes

Doing things so early in time

Making every possible sacrifice 

You still run out of time

Is it reasonable at this point

To burden so much

Knowing what we're going through

Why would they do such?

269 of 366: Meadows

 Search the meadows for the truth

Your search will bear no fruit

As they twist and break facts

You need to think and fastly act

The silent days have been scary

As storms come in so shortly

But then again we wish everyday

That the peace be sustained

268 of 366: Just no.

Days passes like nothing

It suck the eagerness inside

The joy I have

Are all but gone

267 of 366: My younger self

I wonder where's that jerk now

Is he still whipping hankies

Or punching random dudes

Did he now realize that entitlement

Brings you nowhere?
Did that jerk succeed?

Or did he remain in the shadows

Of someone greater than him

Oh if I was only wiser 

And stronger then 

But I guess it's part of life

Where you will be beaten up

I don't wish all the worst things for him

Even if I didn't get an apology

We weren't even that close

And we didn't become friends

He was a jerk to all around

And I have to live with that

I don't have to forgive him

But I have to forgive myself

For feeling anything wrong

For thinking of things

That I shouldn't be

If I could save my younger self

From all the people around him

For turning him into a monster

That hurts people in return

Becoming a product of hatred

And loathing those below

I would like to save him somehow

But the child is all but gone

He's trying to redeem himself somehow

Because for all the apologies

He made to people he hurt

No one apologized to him

For the years he suffered 

I wish no ill will to those people

But do that shit to me today

I'm fighting back

266 of 366: Wonderful

And all the wonderful things

Embodied one person

As if perfection personified

The sense of purpose you lost

And you thought you never had

Is all unfolding before you

265 of 366: Listen

Only if you listened

We would not be in this mess

If only you were content

Then we shouldn't be in trouble

In arrogance and seeking glory

You put yourself in misery

I can only hope the sun will shine

Let's just let the storm pass by

264 of 366: tired

Too soon to be tired

But we're all trying

263 of 366: Freeze

 This shit is exhausting

It's nonsense and waste

I'm not learning anything

I'm merely passing modules 

And answering sheets

262 of 366: Chase

I guess too much for something

You end up getting nothing

So make the most of what you have

Before it become something you had

Cliche words but still apply

Especially in the hopeless kind

261 of 366: Odds to a million

In all the years I could have lived

And all the lifetimes i could exist

In all the worlds I could revere

Fate brought me with you near

I thank the God for this chance

Though I always seem to miss a part

But maybe time will fruit it's labor

And odds will be in my favor

260 of 366: Twist

Then again look again

I'm lost for words

To something I can never have

I only wish fate would twist

And give something real

Maybe all I desire I won't get

But a few of those wouldn't hurt

259 of 366: Existence

 Suddenly the rain isn't so heavy

And the day is not so bad

Well, the cold weather seems nice

Bad wake ups doesn't mean bad days

Because someone comes redeeming 

All the bad luck

And they did nothing

Besides existing

And their existence in the world

Means so much

You don't know why

258 of 366: Bit Overwhelmed

 We're a little bit lost

Anxious and confused

Never knowing where to go

Overwhelmed by the world

Never been the patient type

So I guess I'm in my line

But never have I felt before

The feeling of so much chore

257 of 366: Burn out

We're all tired and a bit anxious

As tomorrow isn't promised

Let's just hope for the best

That we all pass and not burn out

256 of 366: Alchemy

The price of something

Comes always at cost

So all the riches in the world

Will soon be naught

255 of 366: Kind..

 Maybe we were too hard

On ourselves, we forgot

That we should be kind

Not only to other

But also within    

254 of 366: Unbothered jerks

 Forced wakes and smiles

Unready, by far, like miles

No one wanted

Especially the affected

But the ones who decided

Are the ones at rest

Funny how the unaffected

Are given the power

Over our fates

253 of 366: Shit.

At this point we're just sick 

Of the things happening

Putting other shit first

So we're in chaos more

252 of 366: Question

We all have a question to the world

Answers yet to heard

So in the meantime of dread

We wait until we no longer care

251 of 366: Art of letting go

Will the be of greater woe

Than a soul who lost control

Of his fate and all adore

Leaving him all alone

I could only imagine so

That man with shaken core

Wishing for tomorrow no more

As he hit rock bottom low

A story we conjure from sorrow

May serve as lesson tomorrow

That there are things you can't control

And learn the art of letting go

250 of 366: Move

Speak for the speechless

Listen for the deaf

Look for the blind

Feel for the numb

One should not wait

To be oppressed 

Before speaking

As in its highest form

Compassion is a battle

That doesn't affect you

But will make others lives

Better than yesterday

249 of 366: Dehumanize

Assuming someone is born evil

Is thinking a child could have impure thoughts

But a child could not think of evil

As he is fixated on food

 Monsters are not born

They are made to begin with

Influenced with established evil

They succumb to madness

It's easy to dehumanize

the ones we hate the most

But looking deeper into psyche

We're not that different

What makes you think

You won't be the monster you loathe

248 of 366: I feel stupid

For now, for you I lost my words

Maybe because I spoke too much

Too much to define who you are

But still on the surface

You looked so good in my eyes

That deeper part of you

I yet to know

Shows how shallow I am

On how I feel stupid 

For writing about you

As all I defined was your physical beauty

Anything else, I'm clueless

247 of 366: Miracle don't happen every day

In a day bright and boring

None exciting happening

We're here anxiously waiting

For something good to happen

As outside the world's burning

Children and elders dying

Leaders not even trying

Miracle, all them waiting

246 of 366: Morgue Flashbacks

I memorized them all

The cracks in the wall

Punch marks

Clawed bloody marks

Sense of being watched

Feeling of despair

The disbelief

A body lying there

But you felt so alone

Frozen in that moment

Dying inside

Trying to make sense

245 of 366: In a perfect world

Distract the smart

Put weights in the strong

Mask the beautiful

Starve the rich

Spoil the poor

Strike bottom up
Minorities speak up

Privileged shut up

Cap the wealth

Remove rankings

Restrain the talented

In all the trouble

To nerf people

In search of perfect world

Things would still

Be vastly different

244 of 366: Heartbeat

Within a heartbeat I'd choose you

Over all the stupid things

That this world has to offer

No doubts, second guesses

It's you always

Within heartbeats things happen

And in every one of them

Are filled with thoughts of you

Because as instant the world 

Come and go

The thought of you 

Will remain constant

243 of 366: You make me happy

You make me happy

In every conceivable way

A simple flip of your hair

A subtle smile

Or even  the faintest hi

You make me happy 

In all the things you do

And I am thankful I met you

But in another note

I fear you so much

As you hold so much power

Over me

This may be self inflicted

And you're not to blame

But I fear of the power you hold

242 of 366: The Perfect Mess

Lips red as rose

Eyes that twinkles

Finer than marble

Hair darker than night

Barely leaving shoulder

Smile so obvious 

Marks of moles

Teeth of pearl white 

Mountains top

Perfection have never been

This kind of mess

Where things of random

Come together

Making the perfect person

Closest to angel

Merged creations into life

And you wonder why the thought

of her make me smile

241 of 366: Mask

 They wore masks to conceal

Afraid of the true prejudice 

In all the gore they did

They were not aware of repercussions

Secret were not meant to be hidden forever

Truth will come into life

So do the best you can in hiding

Because when the mask falls off

Or a little crack ensued

Not even your own shadow can save you

240 of 366: Separator

 It hurts in the inside

Throbbing and persisting

Feels weak and sensitive

Like they all go wobbly

Small moves hurts so much

I hate this feeling

239 of 366: Clouds

Clouds form to block the sun

They may rage chaos upon themselves

But to deny their help of blocking the sun

Is like denying of a good person his deeds

Just because he did one bad

238 of 366: Sleep

 Escape the world by falling asleep

Forget the the troubles, fears within

For a a few hours float in a black abyss

And feel the light of the world not sinking in

If lucky you'll make a fake scenario

Of an ideal world and live in

But if unlucky you are still

Nightmares still lingers in

237 of 366: Near

 Cold embraces and chest tightens

Breeze comes in, winter knocking

Lights start to flicker

And songs becomes familiar

You can smell it in the air

The season is near

236 of 366: Detached

Detached and free

Away from world crumbling

Escape from the chaos

Chase the inevitable

For once run away

From the cruel world

World bleeds while you ignore 

But it won't hurt

To put yourself before

235 of 366: Leaves

 Leaves blowed and danced

Autumn came they all decayed

Nothing save them from the rain

As leaves will go as some came

The endless cycle still remain

234 of 366: JunkSAIS

Stupid shapes telling us what we can

and cannot do

Stupid system never improving despite

the cries of "please do"

In all the spins that took forever to stop

And all the crash that gave us crap

May these things be fixed in future time

As four years and million pesos failed

Each sem just leaves us more disappointed

233 of 366: System

Again the system failed us

It failed to cater the mass

Seeking greed and corruption

We became the price

232 of 366: Happy Bad poetry day

Send the hen crying then

And let all the rooster crow

When the lapdogs has nothing to gain

They all come leaving then

231 of 366: Sun will rise

At the worst of days no one leads

All running in different directions

Now when chaos ensued

We have no one to turn to

So best pray for stronger souls

As we trek this nightmare

Hopefully when the new year dawns

The sun will rise again

230 of 366: 21st

 Another year felt nothing

In this age I should have more

But days pass like autumn leaves

Where winter is abundant

Though disappointed of world today

Some people made me feel loved more

229 of 366: Kindling flame

 We're just really tired at this point

Exhausted of being required to move

Nothing good ever really happens 

As songs save me from the void

The once passionate

Lost its flame completely

Just tired and no reason to burn

The candle hopes a breeze take it out

But then again at the back of its mind

It wishes for a spark

That once ignited the flame it has

228 of 366: Raging skies

The sky have never felt this rage

As heavy rains and thunders ravage

Clouds so thick covers the sun

That every high afternoon

Feels like crying dawn

Had we fallen far from grace

That we felt the skies ablaze

At this point where hope is lost

We wait for the trumpets blow

May hope appear in sooner time

Where living and speaking would be no crime

227 of 366:. Sights

 In all the sights I've seen before

Only you is the one I wish to see more

Blue skies could not compare

To your beauty where all is fair

But I guess you will always be a dream

To my hellish nightmare

226 of 366: Love disappoints

For all the love I sought before

I want nothing now or more

As the feeling felt like a chore

And all who tried only bore

So in the light love comes in

I would not accept such hastily

Cause love disappointed too much

For now I would not want such

225 of 366: Stars in night

 Stars don't shine without darkness

Taking advantage of the void

As they were there everytime

Just waiting a time to shine

As the heavy abyss falls

The little ones glimmer

Meaning that the dark days now

Will only make the future brighter

224 of 366: Pay

 Then again we failed again

Needless deaths buried

Souls who should have not disappeared

If the ones who lead has proper initiative

So this is the price to pay

223 of 366: RIse

 Dead inside where trouble lies 

Not too far, someone cries

Or from hunger simply dies

No end, no objective in these times

With nothing changes and time flies

To incompetency we compromise

In the event we meet our demise

Show them that pissing us is unwise

As tomorrow the sun will rise

And the oppressor and ruler will be revised

222 of 366: Counterpart

 In despair there is light

In hope there is chaos

Peace brings uncertainty

Victory makes you anxious

Every shades of life

There is a counterpart

You can only hope

That things workout

221 of 366: Presenting illusion

 You look back to things

And wonder if they could have done differently

If you were more apologetic

If you were more attentive

But the past cannot always visit

As future every step of the way

The present is an illusion

As the future is constant

So beating yourself is no help

All the milks are spilled

Yesterday was a curse

But tomorrow should be your promise

220 of 366: A year later

 One year ago exactly this day

Things were vastly different

I'm in despair seeking answers

Of why human life is fragile

But now a year later

In the exact time 

Acceptance is the key

Where I still seek

219 of 366: Power

Aching throbbing sickening

Thought of fleeing fleeting

In face of crisis rising

Leaders slowly skin shedding

Masks came off with broken promises

But once the mass rise from the ashes

We'll see who are the ones powerless

218 of 366: Disappointed

Fallen hopes and crushed dreams

Lying bastards broken promises

Devils did not bother to conceal

Facing us head high up

Lies through teeth

With words of foul

Trolls farming now

Faint cheering from the crowd

Things do not go well

As they should be

Aware of the hell we're going

Secretly hoping for hope coming

217 of 366: Promise of tomorrw

Love the way your hair falls down

Like how golden leaves drop when autumn 

How my hand feels cold and tender

As the middle days of winter
When I'm with your presence
Rains of the world washed a new

But still in rain my heart flew

With random smiles

My heart flutters much

In face of crisis and uncertain tomorrow

I wish for you no sorrow

As tomorrow is not promised

But with you, it's not one to be missed

216 of 366: Jester

Crying lying jester

A clown of his own making

Terrified of criticisms

But speaks so haunting

Afraid of their own ghosts

They keep speaking

They can keep mumbling

As masses start uprising

215 of 366: Pan

Waiting didn't pan out

We're back to square one

In search of the one we want

We end up having most

Of the things of no value at all

214 of 366: Threads

Soul yearns connection

Seeking the threads of fate

But threads have tangled so long

That multiple times

It led to the wrong person

213 of 366: Lost

I guess for now I'm lost for words

As lot blocked my head

Consumed by grief and confusion 

I would speak no more

212 of 366: Shit happens

Chaos in ruins

Left to pick pieces

Filled in their illusions

We're the one in trouble

211 of 366: F*ck this

I hate the way where I am now

Feeling of hatred flowing 

Angered by the entitled screams

Soon I would take my leave

Toxic walls are closing in

As the air is suffocating

Absence of such is such delight

As presence brings despair to light

210 of 366: Closing in

Walls closing in 

Ceiling dropping near

All the wrongs crashing in

In a world so suffocating

Expectations from your birth

Crashing on dreams before

Making you less of an empty vessel

Just a puppet with promise to fulfill

209 of 366: Speech

Mumble gruntle stomach grumble

Useless senseless speech should be speechless

Lying trying buying falling

Remove loose groove demote

208 of 366: Screwed

Screw this

Screw this all

207 of 366: Power hungry

Take the bread

Offend the not well read

Politics is not pythagorean theorem

They decided then but

We won't succumb to will

Power hungry never full

Never caring for actually hungry

Revolt will soon be the message

Anthropos of man speaking

Oppressed today with stomach grumbling 

Voices will be heard

All will live kings

206 of 366: Hate it

I hate it here in every aspect

Every harsh words and every gaslight

Every point in in my insecurity

Every humiliation when I'm useless

The disregard for my feelings

And emphasis on other people's opinion

I hate it

205 of 366: Conditioned

Growing up I though hatred was something

That we all grow accustomed to

I thought hating things is a personality

Until the world starts doing the same to me too

Cynicality and baseless hatred for people and stuff

Is stupid at the extent

The scary thing is that 

I learned that the I didn't really hated the things 

I use to hate then

I was conditioned to do so.

204 of 366: Own cage

Words of others mean nothing

It's only you who is assuming

Because happiness comes from within

Not from others approval speaking

Confined in cage of your own making

You stray from the happiness you keep seeking

203 of 366: Game of risk

You cannot win every risk you take 

Contemplating on mistakes you made

Accept the fact that things go wrong

And it happens often so long

It's not always a question

Not always a problem looking for solution

You took the leap and closed your eyes

Hoping that you wake in paradise

But paradise is not what you often wake up to

As nightmares often came true

The leaps you made may left some bruises

But it doesn't mean you shouldn't do it again

202 of 366: Pride never knew

Pride never knew the touch of love

As himself could not bring 

To down and compromise

Mistakes he could not admit 

Wrongs he won't correct

But pride still thinks of himself highly

Even though day to day he is lonely

He knew without admitting

That the top of the world mean nothing

If you have no one to share everything

201 of 366: Before Things

Read before you write 

Liste before you speak

Scribble before you draw

Observe before we point

Learn before you teach

Make sure before you speak

Absorb before you input

Practice before you perform

200 of 366: Tired

Too tired and terrified

Emotions mild and feeling dry

As heat seeps in our houses

All of our cool start loses

Maybe for once a quiet place

Where you can rest all day

Without the thought of a chaos coming

Or a disaster waiting

Because the world is pissed

And the people are impatient

199 of 366: Mark another day

It will mark another day

Where the skies will stay gray

And the darkness that looms

Will force people's fumes

They cannot keep us silent more

As history dictates even before

When the people know their rights

There is a better good on the rise

So the snowflakes dance for now

As the day of reckon will come somehow

198 of 366: Spit

Negativity can loom in

As it seeps in the mind

Your words became fiery spit

As if punches that hit

I won't say you should be calm

Nor deny the storm

But try to cope with the feeling

Without hurting others

197 of 366: Haunted

Things of the past will soon haunt us

Things we did we were too dumb to understand

We can only hope that the things we do now

Redeem ourselves from the people we hurt then

Move forward and hope fate forgives

As you try to carve a path far from sins

196 of 366: Illusions

Planning the futre now feels stupid

As we all know that tomorrow is not promised

But we didn't know it would come to this

Such stupidity ravaged the land

Where they could not understand

The direness of the situation

As even in the face of death

Some people would serve their best interests

Fueled by greed and ambition 

They live in their own illusions

195 of 366: Speak up

Patience and time never came to fruition

As doing things, set things to motion

If we wait for something good to happen

What will we do everything in between?

Do you think we enjoy freedom?

Just because we act seldom?

That it came to us on a silver spoon

Oppressors getting tired soon?

No.

They fought and speak of oppression

And stood up citing revolution

So when you think your voice is small

You're not looking at the bigger picture at all

As collective we have the power

To bring down those we put in power

So no matter what, they say that you should only listen

Speak up, let your voice be heard

194 of 366: Jar

Never have a jar been filled with flames 

Unable to contain the escaping blaze

As the jar is surrounded by oil

Waiting for a fire run its course

But the jar can let go of the flames

Just open it's lid up

And the flames will escape as steam

Avoiding the oil in blazing 

And stops the jar from corroding

No one really knows why the jar

Insists on keeping the flames

Maybe the only thing that was hurting it

Was the only thing giving it a purpose

It never made sense for anyone

Even to the jar 

Even though he's the one hurtinf

193 of 366: Murmurs

There may be voices in your head

Saying the most horrible things muttered

They may be impossible to silence

That you live alongside their presence

They never really shut up

You just learn to cope up

192 of 366: Songs of woe

Songs of woe haunts the land

Where free speech has lost its grant

Most have been silent in fear

Holding all their precious life dear

But when the cowards stop to cower

And collective realize their power

All those mighty will start to fall

next to one another like a domino

As they are no host to themselves

Merely lapdogs and followers

191 of 366: Certainty

Wind is cold yet it feels hot

Weather today is hard to understand

I guess the days feel so uncertain

That the body feels random pains

190 of 366: Over matter

Mind over matter as they say

And I feel it all over again

As yesterday remembering my father's death

Made me feel as thoroughly weakened

But today I feel better

As If I could run a mile

I guess when grief takes you over 

Just let the rainy days pass by

189 of 366: Grief Form

It feels like a yesterday 

When we lost him

As our memory keeps refreshing

We feel the pain all over again

Approaching a year since he died

Our bodies feel like weakened

As our thoughts are troubled

We feel sick all over 

But no symptoms whatsoever

I guess grief comes in many forms

Ours came as heavy boulders

As if we bear the weight of the world

And we could not define it with words

So our bodies respond 

To the grief we have

And as we lie on bed all day

We miss him still all over again

188 of 366: Quiet

The quiet nowadays is never calming

It's never the one then reassuring

Because the silence brings inevitable

The inevitable coming of storm

No one knows what will happen next

And the people of the world desist

Stupidity rise and hard headed idiots

Makes you feel sorry for horror movie characters

So now we wait for a miracle

Because we completely gave up on our leaders

187 of 366: Write and write

We write and write for all we want

But sometimes ideas just won't come

They stay stagnant, better in our heads

Then those ideas barely gets leads

So they stay in our heads better that way

Where the will never be tarnished ever again

186 of 366: Unfolding

History unfolds on our very eyes

Where we are fed by lies

It's a chore to discern the truth

Today justice feels crude

And we have no one to go to

So when your backs meet a wall

You have no choice but to carry on

When you feel like being silenced 

It's a war cry that you need to fight

185 of 366: Meet someone

I hope we meet someone

Who never gets tired of us

Who never stop loving our poems

And always loving our words

May never get tired

Of loving us daily

Even in the days

We don't deserve it

I just hope all have one

Someone to confide their fears

And a safe place for secrets

184 of 366: Confusion

In amidst confusion there is chaos

As the world loses its balance to discord

Opportunists take over this

And do things for their own accord

Then the lowest of the low

Struggle to make ends meet

While the powerful above

Keeps on getting rich

And worse is how we are treated

Like experimental guinea pigs

They couldn't come up with a good plan

So they keep testing us

Not knowing that our patience 

Will soon reach it's end

And the people shall show

How much power they have

183 of 366: Selfish

You have trespassed your rights too far

That they have met the point of abuse

And now your actions caught up

You act as if you're the one used

You pity yourself as you face dangers

When in fact you put others in that situation first

Now you whine and whine of the privilege lost

Not seeing that you went too far

I never thought someone could this selfish

Until I saw you bare

One day all will lead up and caught up

Best of wishes for you then

182 of 366: Boundaries

Boundaries exist for a reason

It was created as safety from morons

Since they do not know when 

They should stop then

As if they feel the world is theirs

and that everything is for share

181 of 366: Night looming in

The night looms near and the wolves howl

As if a storm is breaching near the town

For we do not know what will happen next

Were all simply following the bump of chest

So let us wish for tomorrow to be nicer

As yesterday have been a disaster

May the gods of luck smile upon us

And may pain and suffering be a thing of the past

180 of 366: Following

The devil did not wear something

To conceal the evil deeds

It even spoke of things it did

As if you should be proud of something

But what is bothering is not the devil itself

But the people who still believe
That the devil is up to something good

When in fact the devil showed its true colors

A million lifetimes ago

179 of 366: The way

I love they way you make my day

And make all the sad go away

I love your eyes in every gaze

It's a wonderland I wish to stare

May your smile never fade

Even when your life degrades

I love the way you're always true

And I love everything about you

178 of 366: What now doesn't matter

It was a mistake to go back

To the place where you never felt

Welcome in the first place

You don't appreciate the tact

And they don't acknowledge you're hurt

They are always the victim in this case

And now the world in flames

You cannot deal with sour two faced

Now that there is tomorrow waiting

Of a true love you're wanting

177 of 366: Views

So when the days feel like roughest

And you are not feeling your best

Maybe you're not looking at 

The right things in life that

Can make you happy

Or people who is  often there for you

You are just constricted of the view

That is in front of you, blocking

Your sight of what is essential

176 of 366: Help.

When rays of hope slowly depletes

You hope a hero come for a sweep

And save the days as heroes do

But realities are grimer too

Reality is the we don't know 

What will happen to the future sowed

Will the days just pass and we all disappear

Or something comes that makes all this clear

Ruled by pigs and self serving imbeciles

The future of the people is in peril

May the days that come be kind to us

Because there is no help coming from above

175 of 366: Future uncertain

When the night embraces the sky

I wish to be by your side

And even when the sun rising

I want to be the first to see you smiling

May all the days ahead be with you

And days without you be few

In times where tomorrow is uncertain

And the future seems tainted

Holding on the thought of you

Helps me give the future a clue

174 of 366: 10 months passed

Days may pass and people around move on

But the heart won't move a single motion

They say the the answer is acceptance

But no one ever say where it lies

I still miss him every day, I do

Even through the bad and good, I do

I guess you can't what he left

So still I have this throbbing in my chest

I just hope that soon I'll accept the day that was

And accept that he's not there for weddings or graduation that will pass

Because he left a hole no one else could fill

So even a year close we're crying still

173 of 366: Granted wishes

Someone who has many words in mind

Cannot seem to have words to find

When the sight of you is near

When the feel of you is clear

What's in front of me

Is everything I wanted and wished

How come everytime I step towards you

Every single step fear only grew

Grew in sense that this familiar feeling

Of me getting all the rejecting 

The risk is high and so is the reward

Will fate finally have my wish grant?

172 of 366: Hurting

So there is something that bothers us

Which explains the attitude shift

I guess when something lingers

On the back of your mind

You're mood if likely to change

As there are pain suppressed

And emotions hidden

So never take something personal

For they may also be hurting

171 of 366: What freedom means

The price of freedom is often steep

Yet seldom we have years for it keep

As one fight leads to another

That even foes of the same kind lingers

The one fought for so long about

Seems to be easily forgotten by majority of crowd

As today the freedom he wrote and supported

Is being remodeled and distorted

170 of 366: What you wanted

Something you've always wanted

Is now playing at your palm

It feels every as if you've dreamed

And you cannot remain calm

So in the days where lose hope

Remember it comes in moments where

You cannot simply cope

And it just appears anywhere

So never stop dreaming for the things you want

And make sure to keep it on your hand

169 of 366: Toxic surroundings

You are as good as your worth

Which will will never be unconditional, cause

They never really cared for you about anything

Only when you prove or achieve something

But your insecurities are silenced

And voicing out will make them timid

For all the words they said that pierced your soul

Voice out your feelings, they'll say you're out of control

Then they label you with things you hate

Liar, arrogant , easily irate

They will pick on your insecurities aloud

And humiliate you of things of which you are proud

You sought silence as your comfort

But still they will say something about that last resort

They never cared for the voices in your head

They only care on what they only want to say

So you, with no place in the world, in this reality

Can't even voice your concerns to your own family

As your heart slowly breaks itself

They never care until the inevitable happen

168 of 366: When reality strikes

It sucks to miss something that weren't there

Something that in reality existed never

Where your daydream has been too much

That memories and daydreams are in the same touch

That you coped so much in your own reality

That you value it more than your true memories

167 of 366: Where dreams reside

What has been holding me all this time?

When all the courage in the world has been mine

How can someone who has total confidence

Loses all the bravery resides

Maybe it has been too long since

I have my heart throbbing inside

So may I was afraid to misinterpret

Of love or simple excitement

Things in the past that wrong

Did went wrong all along

But if something new would come to fruition

Will the reality come from my imagination?

166 of 366: Cry

Grief hidden is grief unresolved

Never tell someone their feelings are void

Because you never know what's in their head

That the tears repressed are keeping themselves 

From the border if losing sanity

Save yourself before your family

Don't repress what you keep inside

The idiots don't know the feelings you hide

Let it all out, you're free to cry

165 of 366: Tomb Stone

It feels like a thousand years

Since you left, and we shedded tears

Every time I look at your tombstone

I disbelief I have, is mine alone

As every photo of you in my phone or portraits

Feels so alive as if everything is great

Especially the photos closest to your death date

Those are the one that always left me contemplate

What would we have done different

That this current status we won't resent

Because even today I still miss you

But I can't shed these tears in public view

164 of 366: The devil wore no mask

It has been since the lies have been molded 

And it never changed since justice have eroded

They keep taking our voice forever

Not knowing they only amplify it stronger

So the demons above tends to look down

And mocks us for every frown

I hate how they did not speak or address

As if the evil never rests

So now they attempt to shut protests

When the people felt unrest

So it is up to us to do the ousting task

As this devil wears no mask

163 of 366: I hate everything

I hate the age hierarchy with passion

That you can be played by your emotions

Age comes wisdom they often say

But the aged ones use it for power play

Nothing seems to be their fault

And they are always the victims of the conversation

Getting sick of this stupid cycle rotation

Speak your mind, you're rude

It's like they wish us all to be prude

As mindless slaves to command

We never asked for a metal hand

So why are we reaping the consequences

Of the past that happened to them that were never our wishes

Am I to be blamed for every chaos

The fall guy for every lost cause

I hate being an emotional punching bag

I didn't ask to live to be a drag

162 of 366: Bored and silent

We might as well speak as we are able

And act in the life's most suitable

As they try to silence us

We might as well act before the attacks

Let your voices be heard

Before they become completely deaf

Before your voices are to be taken

Before your rights be perverted

As we should be the voice for the voiceless

The strength for the weakest

Because it is a privilege to be bored and silent

And to do nothing, is a sin

161 of 366: Rant

For some freaking reason

What was fine then is not now

It bothers me a lot more than it should

Even though some band aid solutions ensued

I hate how this have to occur

160 of 366: Reversed roles

Roles reversed is a funny thing

Because thing turned around causes anomaly

Accuse the oppressor of his misdeeds

Then they go on defensive

Try to treat them as if they would

And now you're the one who is no good

Speak your stance, prepare to be silenced

Fight back, prepare to be scolded

So you will be trapped in your qualm of thoughts

Thinking of revenge you always sought

Then without simply realizing

You became the monster you're supposed to be hating

159 of 366: Masks on devils

So desperate as the favor blows

Always the low road and it shows

The hypocrisy and attempt are petty

And we all know the ending won't be pretty

So we eradicate their futile attempts

While the anger we have slowly ascends

The devil didn't bother to wear a mask

So why does he keeps putting them on us

158 of 366: Lessons

Slept on history class, absent in science

Barely passing marks, failed in requirement compliance

I'm not saying that intelligence is confined in classrooms

But the lack of basic knowledge and thinking looms

The history we slept on, is being repeated

By those who does not even know everything situated

And now the mistakes of the past 

Is now crashing to our faces fast

Imagine if we listened more 

And by listening we absorb

It's sad how we failed so much

Despite the years that fought so hard

Are we doomed for a repeat?

Or we''ll learn quick

157 of 366: Damned

Why must you often invade my mind?

When everyday you cease to be called mine

What will I do so that every time I see your near

My heart stops at escaping my sleeves

 Can there be a day?

Where your presence will not

Make my heart flutter

Nor make my knees weak to the core

Because for someone who uses his wit

I fail in erasing you so quick

Because every time I see that damn smile

I cannot seem to get my shit together

156 of 366: Remember when?

Remember when your were a kid

And you thought in the world

You'd be a perfect fit?

Now you're just lost for words

Forced to be silenced and discreet

The world of adults is not a utopia

It's a dangerous playground with silent phobia

We realize that as we grow and time flies

Now we're just dropping dead like flies

Because the virus didn't just endanger our health

It also causes one of our greatest strengths

To crumble slowly into dust

155 of 366: Today

Today may mark a day of silence and the fear of prejudice

No words can contain the anger, resentment, fear and frustration we all have

Let's just hope that what may come be a better day

154 of 366: Lessons

Some things you never expect

Comes to you when you least suspect

It may be love from another time

Or something you long to call "mine"

In the ever chaos shifting of the world

One can only hope what the future holds

She may be the forever I long for

Or just another destiny's cruel lesson

153 of 366: Bulletproof

Funny when the problem is bulletproof

The ones who leads us loses their groove

When violence cannot seem to solve things

All are simply panicking

But when the people revolt

Asking for food and support

You steal and humiliate them at their face

Then call them crazy when their irate

Doing your best is acceptable

When 4th graders are doing a play of parable

It is not applicable to every situation

Especially to leaders running a nation

In times of crisis we did not need more

But every moment, this year has its store

People are dying and losing their livelihoods

But called greedy for asking more relief goods

So when will the crisis truly end

Are we all just waiting for God to descend?

152 of 366: Separation of colors

In the name of hate people rise

As if there a common enemy in sight

It is never known what is greater terror

Than to be discriminated by your color

Imagine walking on a lonely road

And someone claims that they've been goad

You are silent yet they prey on you

That you're the suspect immediately, in their point of view

So now they speak of their fallen brother

And they revolt in echoes of anger

Now that they have committed violent protest

You act like you're the one oppressed

151 of 366: Guaranteed

Sometimes despite all the effort you give

You will sometimes fall short and grieve

The one you desired all along

Will always go to all sorts of wrong

Because love is not something often grant

And even if you, it's not guaranteed to last

Sometimes you give your mind to something else

Because even if you become the best version of yourself

You still won't get the person you want

150 of 366: Invisible Cages

To what extent will we misinterpret

Abuse masked as love

As they only care for what they get

And not of the possible consequences

Confront the abusers, prepare to be gaslighted

Give them silent treatment, prepare to be berated

So you stay in cage for a long time

Being punished for a non committed crime

And you wait for the day where will you be

Completely away from this, and completely free

149 of 366: Thoughts of others

Lost between the words said and unsaid

Myriad of words but far too afraid

From the prejudice of others words

But it never occured me how it works

Where the strings that control your thoughts

Are from the other people words

Have we been too conscious of others
That they dictate the things we occur?
To what extent will we be prisoners 

Of what the thoughts of others

148 of 366: Demons of same

Demons inside our head persists

Try to fight, it resists

Then again is it your fault?

To have such troubling thoughts?

Why do we doubt ourselves so much

When the world often does that for us

But then again it is easier to say

Pretty words and pretty names

And when you're the one facing it

You, yourself is helpless about it

I really can't conjure the words to say

Cause even I am facing the demons of same

147 of 366: Existence

In all the days that passed before

It feels like nothing moves forward anymore

The days are counting by fast

And the moments never really last

It's hard to speak of the world

When you're reliant on other people's words

Because you have no idea what is happening

You simply see yourself panicking

A calm mind and heart

Feels like a privilege in this time apart

As anxiety grows and seeps the mind

Wondering if the world would still be kind

Kind enough to heal itself

And purge the ones who leads inept

Cause in this case where the future feels uncertain

Existence feels like a gift and pain

146 of 366: What we lost

What we lost in the process is invisible
in the eyes whose care for you is subtle
they celebrate your victories
As if they never deserted in your fallacies

they care not for the things you lost
and they only saw the fruits you gained
as if suffering and victory never crossed
that sunlight is always, it never rains

145 of 366: What now?

Once we're out what will we do?
Do we run and shout across the meadows?
Or do we go back to places we missed
Do we give our longing significant others a kiss
Or simple leave behind the world we dismissed
The start of the new decade has not been kind
Everyday survival feels like a grind
Will the day come where all of this is simply bliss
Or there is an impending apocalypse?

144 of 366: Bizarro

Speak of the world bizarre
Not knowing what to happen near or far
No plans laid out no ideas of bulb
And they all expect us to stay calm
They hate the ones who speak their minds
As "respect" and "be patient" often draws a line
but is reverence still doable?
How about those we need to hold accountable?
Patience has long hit its stride
As some supporters still won't swallow their pride
The word is in flames and riot
As we all complain in repeat like a parrot
But can we blame if the people are revolting
As they see their family starving?
So what will happen in the coming days
Is the coming of death was simply a race?
Or will the new world come in better way
In ways that things come all our way

143 of 366: Rapture

How do you think the world will end?
Will it be a blazing flames of hell?
Or a slow consume of existential dread
Will we all just fall in a bottomless well?
Where our weeps and horrors will be left unheard

Are we gonna eat one another?
For every moment we risk survival
Is a disease will just take over us
And wipe us out right before our very eyes
Will there be a supreme being in arrival?

or is the world ending right now
we simply could not figure out how
in left tor right disasters occurring
is this how the world is simply ending?
is there a point for today's seeds to be sowed?

however the world will end
it feels like it will before we know it
because how it end doesn't matter
it's how we lives our lives will matter
so don't stay up late thinking

142 of 366: Pain thing

No one came to light the world
nor dared to paint the clean canvas
because everytime someone comes to color our lives
they suddenly leave, taking all the colors with them
so we become the hollow shells of ourselves
trying to make sense of the part that is lost
so we wait and wait for another one to come by
but the one we waited for so long
failed miserably in ways how to color you
so you're all smudged and barely recognizable
then you leave that painter trying to erase all
all the colors they tried to impose on you
so there you are sick of all these failed people
so here you are a white canvas all alone
a mixture of everything and nothing
of everyone you ever loved. 

141 of 366: Ever since

The days that passed by passes like a flash
But still I go back to where I met you first, the alley
Funny how much difference a year makes
When it feels like the world revolves around me
But such selfish mentality changed when I saw you smile
And it has invaded my mind ever since

It has been my joy to see you everyday
You stand out in a crowd, out of everyone
Your eyes and voice never cease to mesmerize me and
The way you kept your hair kept me fascinated by it
As my fascination for you never changed and never has
 I just hope you're happy as I have been
In the days that you appear in my line of sight that 
there are times I cannot look  away
And it has been like that ever since

140 of 366: Flames

Had the flames of revolt extinguished

that men of faith had their hope faded

with the sky and sun upon us falling

one day we'll wake up, trumpets blowing

the one who are supposed to lead

are clueless and knowledge dread

how come in the matter of life and death

we are lead by the most incompetent

So we pray and pray for a miracle to happen

that something good happen so sudden

because if we wait and wait what happens after

is unknown, as we're all lambs to slaughter
may we survive these trying days
and stood up for tomorrow's race

139 of 366: History of ours

The future of ours is yet to be written
hidden secrets yet to unravel
statements said may be pragmatic
but to our future I feel nostalgic
as the future we may have feels like a memory
I keep looking forward to our history
so tears in time I would ask for
especially for moments I wished forevermore

138 of 366: Special someone

You don't want a special someone
in fact, you are better off having none
you simply succumbed to the social construct
that to be happy, you have to attract
a person who is head over heels for you
someone who makes your stomach butterflies flew
or you envied the ones who have
so you search for that love, that caused you to starve
but everywhere you go it seems far out of reach
as you often give than receive
sometimes the sense of solitude
can make your standards crude

137 of 366: Spared

Evil does not rise because evil exists

it simply exists because only a few resists

as neutrality and silence does more harm

than any evil reform

as the get the pass to do what they want

no one telling them doing what they can't

they shall continue to exist in their domain

as long as the silence of good prevails

evading involvement will not save you

as evil will not spare the silent lucky few

because when they burn the world to ashes

not the silent, the good nor the supporters get saving passes

136 of 366: Rustle

Rustling leaves at mercy of the wind

flying everywhere as rain pours down the drain

and the hellheat we had a few days ago

is now a nail biting shivering close to sub zero

even the sky is crying for what the world has become

as it passed recent memory when it was calm

the days may feel like it was just passing by

but we never know what danger lurks nearby

as for some the present feels like a bore

but to others, they feel like the future is no more

135 of 366: The weather did not cooperate

How the weather did not cooperate

while the human and planet deteriorate

the world in ruins in question of ethos

mother nature decided to mix in the chaos

as heavy rains pour down our roofs

as if this year being a mess needs more proofs

we are at watch at our volcanoes

while the plead for food and money help still echoes

when the world suffers and at its most cruel

the ones we seek help have their stomachs full

in this era of great turmoil

our leaders are enjoying their spoils

134 of 366: Love and History

A heart that is torn is a story untold

where is has scorn and the feelings are cold

assumption of striking gold only to lose hold

of something you thought you could never lose

Forever is not defined by any time

as forever is subjected to how to live that life

as most of us  chased loved in our 20's

peaked and took it for granted in our 30's

It's a sad melody where no one learns

and history always finds a turn

but love is topic of another

and history is a much more important matter

where love will always change and revise

where history stood even when time flies

so to repeat the failure in love is understandable

but to repeat history's mistake is unacceptable

so why repeat the past things we did?

where the one at top is often greed?

have forgetting things became so common

that history and love are often taken granted for

133 of 366: Something, anything

 It feels like time only passes
as there were really no progress
weeks passed but situation remains
now it feels like were just passing days
I guess time doesn't change anything
it's about doing something
Can something or anything occur
we'll take even the most absurd
because nothing seems to improve

132 of 366: A little less than more

We're a little broken, a little more inside
we all have monsters we're trying to hide
there were times that you once caused a commotion
because someone needed to be happy at the expense of your emotion
they never understood, they never want to
they simply did what they feel to do
so grown up we fight our demons
demons that other people summoned
we're just bigger kids with bigger bodies
but still a victim of past adversities
but no one had ever spoke about this
because the ones who caused are your family

131 of 366: hmd.

For all the sleepless nights before
and for giving it always your all
for doing chores when you can barely stand
for every situation you offer a helping hand
the times you sacrifice your dream
just to see our future gleam
for all the days when you feel beat
but makes sure we're back on our feet
you have our endless thanks
because no other act would fare
to every sacrifices you made
you don't deserve just a single day
because with you making sure everything is fine
a gratitude given to you should be a lifetime

130 of 366: The heck?

What is happening today?

as I have no words for it to say

It seems like a waste, these past eight weeks

that no move or plan has been initiated

is there more to their bag of trick?

what commotion will they do leave us distracted?

as cases rise yet no tests done

it feels like we're just passing every month

129 of 366: Seeps in mind

Pride seeps in mind

where conscience may be nowhere to find

and mistakes of the past creeps in

so you have no choice but to stay firm

on the fallacies you through the years

but now all are tearing through the seems

desiring change is no option

as you dived deep into oblivion

and a moment snapped in time

realizing the faults in your mind

conscience strucks in and the world was bigger

but you won't admit that there were error

on the way you think and see the world back then

so you stay true to your faulty conviction

while staying silent in face of the opposition

you criticism is not as loud as your support

so you stay still trying to build rapport

your pride just get in the way

and you won't have other say "in your face"

so you stay silent amidst the trouble

while all you believe in starts to crumble